Page 3 | How do I remove sinister Santa outfit from a cactus?

YesitsBess · 2023-04-14T17:52:01+00:00

My lovely sister got this little darling thing for my teenage son for Christmas. He loves it, as do I. However having gone *way* past 12th night we would now like to update his wardrobe/allow him to go 'au natural'. Also he looks quite menacing and the other plants are a bit scared. I've tried gently pulling the hat, no joy. I've tried tweezers on the grumpy eyes, I ended up with my other hand covered in prickles. It is not glued on or secured by any other method I can see. Does anyone have any intimate knowledge on how to disrobe a festive novelty cactus? Thanking you in advance.

WoofWoofBeachLife · 14/04/2023 19:42

🤣🤣🤣🤣 they are quite spectacular specimens

ThreeRingCircus · 14/04/2023 19:43

Oh OP, he looked angry enough before you put the hat on! Now Crimbo Cactus is going to be fucking livid.

Billybagpuss · 14/04/2023 19:44

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 19:40

Don't have those. I have towels. But I feel that could end badly...

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strong winter gloves? I don’t do anything cactus related without protection, especially creepy Santa cactus

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 19:45

MoongazyHare · 14/04/2023 19:23

Of course she has! Why else did you think he’d be looking at her like that?

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QUITE!

OP posts:

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 19:46

ThreeRingCircus · 14/04/2023 19:43

Oh OP, he looked angry enough before you put the hat on! Now Crimbo Cactus is going to be fucking livid.

I'm honk laughing now. Imagining him all furious under his stupid Pootle hat...

OP posts:

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 19:49

Billybagpuss · 14/04/2023 19:44

strong winter gloves? I don’t do anything cactus related without protection, especially creepy Santa cactus

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No I don't have strong winter gloves.

Son has ski gloves. He might lend me those.

I'm going to peruse all these suggestions with my delicious wine and then probably make a very ill-informed decision.

OP posts:

Alfr · 14/04/2023 19:49

Could you suspend him by the santa hat from a high place, and let gravity take its course.
Maybe put a cushion underneath, so he has a soft landing

AbbaG12 · 14/04/2023 19:50

Alfr · 14/04/2023 19:49

Could you suspend him by the santa hat from a high place, and let gravity take its course.
Maybe put a cushion underneath, so he has a soft landing

Next you'll be telling OP to get a little whip!

Billybagpuss · 14/04/2023 19:51

I’m more jealous your cactus has babies and feel I should apologise for derailing this brilliant thread with sensible gardening suggestions

this is my Father Christmas cactus 3 years on, he cost me 75p in the January sale

How do I remove sinister Santa outfit from a cactus?

Mysterian · 14/04/2023 19:52

Why didn't you search the forums for the hundreds of other cactusular de-santafication threads?

Gloves, cut anywhere you can with scissors, tweeze off sinister parts.

Cherrysoup · 14/04/2023 19:53

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 19:29

I'm going to look at my secret Swiss Army knife section presently.

Currently I am canvassing any and all solutions.* *Because MN of a Friday evening is by far and away the best source for festive gardening conundrums.

Does it have one of those things to get stones out of horses’ hooves? I reckon that’d work.

AbbaG12 · 14/04/2023 19:55

Billybagpuss · 14/04/2023 19:51

I’m more jealous your cactus has babies and feel I should apologise for derailing this brilliant thread with sensible gardening suggestions

this is my Father Christmas cactus 3 years on, he cost me 75p in the January sale

Ah, so you are an experienced cacti santa-wear declother. Is it like a right of passage for the person to discover the answer for themselves?

At least we know it can be done, although, alas, yours has lost it's eyes and nose to the process.

tailinthejam · 14/04/2023 19:55

About 6 years ago adult DD rather foolishly bought a Christmas cactus on a garden centre visit. Said cactus had googly eyes and a glittery red pom-pom nose stuck (extremely) firmly to it.

I've just been to look at him, languishing as he does on my kitchen windowsill. He still has his artificial appendages. Now, the thing is... when cacti grow, they grow from the top upwards, so he is now quite tall, but his eyes and nose remained near the bottom, where they now resemble... er... another sort of appendage, let's put it that way.

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 19:56

coastergirl · 14/04/2023 19:41

I think that "I feel like nobody needs an angry greased Santa Cactus" may be the best sentence I've ever read. 😂

I'm sniggering my way through this thread right now there's some belters 😂

OP posts:

lippylippy · 14/04/2023 19:56

I rescued his colleague a few years ago in the January sales. I can confirm that the decorative embellishments are welded to the cacti. With growth his antlers are now half way down his back rather than on top of his head. Not sure this helps but I think you have taken on an impossible task 😩

AbbaG12 · 14/04/2023 19:58

lippylippy · 14/04/2023 19:56

I rescued his colleague a few years ago in the January sales. I can confirm that the decorative embellishments are welded to the cacti. With growth his antlers are now half way down his back rather than on top of his head. Not sure this helps but I think you have taken on an impossible task 😩

This one seems less angry. More so that they've accepted their fate after 3 years.

Maybe you just wait it out OP?

RumNotRun · 14/04/2023 19:58

Do not read if spiders scare you, but all this cacti talk and burning it reminded me of this news story.

Be careful OP, you know not what demons you will release!

WitcheryDivine · 14/04/2023 19:59

AbbaG12 · 14/04/2023 19:50

Next you'll be telling OP to get a little whip!

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Crying at both of these suggestions. Yes please do the dangle therapy OP, even if it doesn't solve his little problem it might teach him some humility.

WitcheryDivine · 14/04/2023 19:59

tailinthejam · 14/04/2023 19:55

About 6 years ago adult DD rather foolishly bought a Christmas cactus on a garden centre visit. Said cactus had googly eyes and a glittery red pom-pom nose stuck (extremely) firmly to it.

I've just been to look at him, languishing as he does on my kitchen windowsill. He still has his artificial appendages. Now, the thing is... when cacti grow, they grow from the top upwards, so he is now quite tall, but his eyes and nose remained near the bottom, where they now resemble... er... another sort of appendage, let's put it that way.

It's illegal to post this without photos.

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:00

Alfr · 14/04/2023 19:49

Could you suspend him by the santa hat from a high place, and let gravity take its course.
Maybe put a cushion underneath, so he has a soft landing

Now we're thinking with gas.

Cushions I do have. I also have string.

But what if his little pot just falls off and he's left there exposed? Whilst I have temporarily hooded him like a misbehaving kestrel, I am trying to maintain his dignity somewhat.

Needs further discussion.

OP posts:

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:02

Billybagpuss · 14/04/2023 19:51

I’m more jealous your cactus has babies and feel I should apologise for derailing this brilliant thread with sensible gardening suggestions

this is my Father Christmas cactus 3 years on, he cost me 75p in the January sale

I for one am thoroughly enjoying the split between earnestly given cactus advice and sniggering about the fact that he looks a bit like a willy.

That's a beautiful plant. Needs more themed knitwear but 9/10

Carry on.

OP posts:

AbbaG12 · 14/04/2023 20:02

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:00

Now we're thinking with gas.

Cushions I do have. I also have string.

But what if his little pot just falls off and he's left there exposed? Whilst I have temporarily hooded him like a misbehaving kestrel, I am trying to maintain his dignity somewhat.

Needs further discussion.

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Gorilla tape, preferably in black to keep the little pot on. You know that stuff that looks like PVC. Might need some holes for air.

Original poster

YesitsBess · 14/04/2023 20:03

lippylippy · 14/04/2023 19:56

I rescued his colleague a few years ago in the January sales. I can confirm that the decorative embellishments are welded to the cacti. With growth his antlers are now half way down his back rather than on top of his head. Not sure this helps but I think you have taken on an impossible task 😩

I've just dissolved into giggles.

Send help.

OP posts:

tailinthejam · 14/04/2023 20:03

I think it's about time we had a campaign. The NSPCFC. It has quite a ring to it, don't you think?

That's the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Festive Cacti.
🌵🌵🎅🌵🌵

Pixiedust1234 · 14/04/2023 20:03

I'm going to peruse all these suggestions with my delicious wine and then probably make a very ill-informed decision.

Drink your wine, read your thread but do not, I repeat do not, touch the grumpy thing until tomorrow. That way you can go out and buy items that are more helpful than goatboy and baby oil.