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Original poster

To not keep a flipping ‘gratitude journal’

353 replies

Eastie77Returns · 21/02/2022 21:02

New manager at work, from the US if that’s relevant, declared a few weeks back that she thought it would a great idea for the team to start keeping a gratitude journal. Not my cup of tea at all but I was wasn’t bothered as it was optional. Then journals arrived at our home addresses in the post, she’d ordered them for everyoneConfused

On our weekly team meetings she started asking volunteers to read journal entries aloud. When no-one volunteered, she picked people. A few colleagues ‘read’ clearly made up on the spot entries. When it was my turn I just said I’m not keeping the journal. I’m grateful for many things but I don’t write them down. She didn’t look happy and I’ve heard I’m now on her shit list for not being a team player or something. WIBU??!

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 22/02/2022 21:11

I can’t risk it, manager would probably book me in for a 1-1 ‘healing time’ session or something equally hideous.

Oh god. No. Don't risk that.

DoubleGauze · 22/02/2022 21:22

I'm sorry you're going through this op. It's utter nonsense. Firstly , to make you write in this journal when it's nothing to do with your job. And secondly to ask you to read aloud from it , as if you choose to keep a journal its none of anyone elses business!

We had some similar ridiculousness when I worked as a sen ta. We'd had a hard, hard week as the kids had been tricky as lots of our team were off sick. Some staff had been hurt but mainly , we were all drained and emotional. What did management do? What we'd have liked was to know for sure that they'd supply cover if a 1:1 ta was ill , and possibly for them to listen to our cries for a proper tea break. What we got was an airy fairy group session with a therapist in which she made us participate in an activity that you'd normally do with year 1 children. I was really annoyed as we were pulled out of the after school clubs we teach to do this bloody thing. My club afternoon was the highlight of my week often.

I am grateful that there was no journal proved to us though.

Crepuscularshadows · 22/02/2022 21:38

Concrete poems are the way forward

I'm grateful for

Fine weather
Urban Foxes
Crisp mornings
Kenko decaff coffee

Yellow daffodils
Ordnance survey maps - the orange ones
Understated box dyes

Crepuscularshadows · 22/02/2022 21:40

And I'm grateful that I can tell the difference between acrostic and concrete .... Oh

MrsToothyBitch · 22/02/2022 22:18

Oh god not a 1-1 with her! That sounds like positivity hell. Surely you're within your rights to say you don't feel comfortable telling her stuff under pressure?

Another song for the journal- perhaps the original gratitude journal entry itself: Reasons To Be Cheerful!

Redshoeblueshoe · 22/02/2022 22:33

Part 3 Grin

MostlyEatingBiscuits · 22/02/2022 22:40

Yes!! Channel some Ian Dury, so many good rhymes -

Something nice to study, Phoning up a buddy
Being in my nuddy!

Grendalsmum · 22/02/2022 22:53

We've got a mental health first aider at work - she's given to diagnosing herself with syndromes from internet quizzes so l'm not convinced she'd be much actual help if it came down to it ...

Arnia · 22/02/2022 22:56

Mental health first aider 🤣 Christ alive such inanity!

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 22/02/2022 23:13

We have mental aid first aiders. Trained by Mind. Not 100% sure who they are or what they do tbh - possibly have meetings with the wellbeing champions 🤷‍♀️

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 22/02/2022 23:13

*mental health first aiders

Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 22/02/2022 23:18

@ifIwerenotanandroid

My husband's place of work has mental first aiders. It seems fraught with problems, to me. If anything went wrong, who would get sued? The company? The first aider? Plus, is it right to put the stress of looking after someone onto ordinary staff? What if someone talks about inappropriate things, or becomes dependent? Or does a first aider just act as a signpost person & tell them where to find help? What if the first aider is a jerk & tells everyone or uses it against the person needing help?
This is a good point. In my workplace anyone can sign up to become one and you only need to do a 2 day course. Apparently the training enables you to recognise if someone is suffering from MH problems, spot triggers, suicidal tendencies and instructs you on how to talk with someone who is depressed. First aiders are meant to to sign post as well but I wouldn’t trust someone like my manager to point a depressed individual in the right direction.

Ordinarily it would surely take at least a couple of years to become fully trained in this area and I think it trivialises MH by pretending a few hours of an online course equips you with the right skills.

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 22/02/2022 23:22

Whilst I thoroughly enjoyed this thread, I'm going to stand up and say MH first aiders are a good thing. As a trained first aider I've been to too many cases of panic attacks and other stress related incidents, something which is much better suited to someone with some basic MH training. I've done the half day intro to MHFA and thoroughly rated it, if only to give the first aider some tools to deal with these situations more appropriately. I find panic attack patients much easier to manage as a result.

That said, your manager is being a first class twat and if she'd paid attention to her MHFA training she'd know that this performative positivity can be incredibly damaging. Acknowledging feelings of sadness/frustration is part of the bastard training.

I would absolutely start throwing in things like the orgasm, dildo & period shit comments. Take her unprofessionalism and raise the bar.

Arnia · 22/02/2022 23:43

Grown adults having panic attacks in the workplace? They don't need a "mental health first aider" - they need a kick up the arse!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 22/02/2022 23:47

@acatcalledjohn
I'm not going to be able to rest until I know whether 'bastard training' indicates your frustration or if it's a typo, maybe for 'basic training'...

acatcalledjohn · 22/02/2022 23:48

@Arnia

Grown adults having panic attacks in the workplace? They don't need a "mental health first aider" - they need a kick up the arse!

Don't be ridiculous. It doesn't take a genius to recognise that sometimes people reach limits and the tiniest of thing can trigger them. That doesn't necessarily mean that the problem is the job/employer.

I take it you're one of those who tells someone with depression to "cheer up".

Jesus wept.

acatcalledjohn · 22/02/2022 23:49

@ifIwerenotanandroid

Not a typo. Replace with damned/bloody/fucking/any word of your choosing.

BSintolerant · 22/02/2022 23:50

I’d find the words “I’m not paid enough to be grateful” tripping off my tongue. Grin

ifIwerenotanandroid · 22/02/2022 23:52

@acatcalledjohn
Thank you. I kind of wish it had been accidental. Made me laugh, anyway.

SenecaFallsRedux · 23/02/2022 00:13

@1forAll74

Typically American dross, what is the point of such a thing.
It's not typical. This would be considered inappropriate in every US workplace I am familiar with. We did "ice breakers' in the early days of Zoom meetings, but nothing personal had to be revealed.
acatcalledjohn · 23/02/2022 00:19

[quote ifIwerenotanandroid]@acatcalledjohn
Thank you. I kind of wish it had been accidental. Made me laugh, anyway.[/quote]

Grin
Holothane · 23/02/2022 01:16

Today I feel crap, I’d write that a few times.

Furries · 23/02/2022 01:30

@Arnia

Grown adults having panic attacks in the workplace? They don't need a "mental health first aider" - they need a kick up the arse!
This thread has been funny, but your post is ignorant.
Migrainesbythedozen · 23/02/2022 02:26

@Arnia

Grown adults having panic attacks in the workplace? They don't need a "mental health first aider" - they need a kick up the arse!
@Arnia What an ignorant and nasty piece of work you are!
cookiemonster2468 · 23/02/2022 03:23

@Eastie77Returns

Thank you all…these replies have made me Grin.

I work for a huge tech company. There has been a big focus on mental health and managers have apparently been told to prioritise anything that helps their teams well-being. This is her idea. Each weeks she reads her journal (it is always something cringe) and asks if anyone wants to share. Most people have their cameras off and no-one ever volunteers so she has now just started picking people. I will be on her shit list forever if I don’t have something this week so I’m printing this thread for inspirationGrin

Please feed back to your employer that this is an entirely inappropriate way to "Prioritise" mental wellbeing.

It's a box-ticking exercise.

There is no subtlety and this complete "one size fits all" approach is likely to do the complete opposite thing than intended and make a lot of people very uncomfortable.

It seems quite commonplace that people mix up prioritising mental wellbeing with forcing people to share personal information about their mental wellbeing. The latter is absolutely not OK!

If your employer truly wants to support mental wellbeing then they need to take some proper professional advice on mental health (and ideally without a "corporate" spin).

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