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Original poster

To not keep a flipping ‘gratitude journal’

353 replies

Eastie77Returns · 21/02/2022 21:02

New manager at work, from the US if that’s relevant, declared a few weeks back that she thought it would a great idea for the team to start keeping a gratitude journal. Not my cup of tea at all but I was wasn’t bothered as it was optional. Then journals arrived at our home addresses in the post, she’d ordered them for everyoneConfused

On our weekly team meetings she started asking volunteers to read journal entries aloud. When no-one volunteered, she picked people. A few colleagues ‘read’ clearly made up on the spot entries. When it was my turn I just said I’m not keeping the journal. I’m grateful for many things but I don’t write them down. She didn’t look happy and I’ve heard I’m now on her shit list for not being a team player or something. WIBU??!

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 22/02/2022 08:44

I am grateful for the right to free speech so I can tell you this is a complete load of bullshit that i refuse to engage with.
Im grateful you said it wasn't compulsory.

RedToothBrush · 22/02/2022 08:46

I am grateful that i am aware of the warning signs of cults.

I am grateful for George Orwell and his book 1984.

MrsToothyBitch · 22/02/2022 08:52

No way would I fill that in... but I'd also refuse to share my "private" writing. I think you need to explain that in order to fill it in properly and sincerely and get the benefit as she no doubt intended, you've now written things you don't want to share with work. Her insistence that you share is intrusive and also unfair if it wasn't initially implied to be compulsory- she's punishing/shit listing people who aren't fitting her personal vision. Also, unless she's directly specified they're to be filled in during work hours, she ought to be paying you at whatever rate you get over time to compensate the incursion into your free time. Might only be minutes but for the whole team it'll soon add up.

In the interest of the team and their welfare, as a team player you feel it prudent to run all of this past HR as you have concerns and also ask how she got your address that you definitely didn't give her nor would you have consented to her being given- in order for her to pressure you and commander your time. Take the article a pp mentioned about misapplied mindfulness and work place break downs, too.

Then buy her a "rude word" adult colouring book for secret santa & invite her to unwind the British way- in gratitude for her journal, obvs.

I loathe stuff like this. It's a chore and filling in similar semi- forced diaries caused me more anxiety about my anxiety than they ever cured.

Iwishiwereamillionaire · 22/02/2022 08:54

If you’re printing this thread out, make sure you read ALL of it out, that’ll ensure you never get asked again as you’ll be going on for ages! Grin

SpikeySmooth · 22/02/2022 09:00

Ffs we're British and don't do this sort of thing!

I agree with the fact she broke GDPR and gave no fucks to people who might be going through something.

If it were me, I'd make something up too.

Today I am grateful for a nice little cafe near work that makes the best breakfast butties. And that the storms have passed. I'm grateful for Yorkshire tea and Deliveroo. I am grateful my train ran on time.

Or I could quote Alone by Rag n Bone Man for feelz

Lulu1919 · 22/02/2022 09:01

Make it up and make it more ridiculous each time....she will soon shut up !!!

YouokHun · 22/02/2022 09:09

@Justilou1

Honestly, I would speak to HR… She is projecting her own psychological needs and culture onto you and your department and it’s inappropriate and intrusive. It is insensitive and could be potentially damaging to people who genuinely have MH issues going on, and she needs to stop it.
I agree. It is intrusive, coercive and a privacy breach. If someone is struggling this kind of corporate “mental health” box ticking exercise is spectacularly counter-productive. It usually takes hold in companies where actually admitting you have a MH problem is a kiss of death to job security and advancement. This kind of thing smacks of cynical corporate arse covering. She’s not an “NLP expert” as well is she?
tinymeteor · 22/02/2022 09:13

Thanks to this thread I have woken up humming that sodding autumn days song

And I mustn’t forget,
No I mustn’t forgeeeeeeet
To say a great big thank you…

FFS

RedToothBrush · 22/02/2022 09:17

You should feel like you trust your boss and that you can approach her.

She's immediately alienated you and has seemingly gone off in a huff.

She should be mindful that constructive dismissal cases are expensive.

Keep a diary to record her behaviour and how it makes you feel uncomfortable and is damaging your mental health by making you anxious about how she reacts to her inappropriate gratitude oversharing.

NotMyselfWithoutCoffee · 22/02/2022 09:22

You need to go to hr it's a breach of privacy and not part of your job role.
Some people have mental health issues and this would really upset them being put on the spot especially if they have depression.
I don't think America have the same safeguarding practices as in the UK including gdpr so she needs to be reminded of her role as a manager.

RedToothBrush · 22/02/2022 09:25

@NotMyselfWithoutCoffee

You need to go to hr it's a breach of privacy and not part of your job role. Some people have mental health issues and this would really upset them being put on the spot especially if they have depression. I don't think America have the same safeguarding practices as in the UK including gdpr so she needs to be reminded of her role as a manager.
Indeed.

She needs a crash course in British training.

BaronessBomburst · 22/02/2022 09:26

I am grateful for the Data Protection Act 2018.

Zillamop · 22/02/2022 09:46

Tell her it is culturally inappropriate in the UK.

Monopolyiscrap · 22/02/2022 09:51

Do a line from a song lyric every time. Colleagues will soon catch on and some may join in.

RedToothBrush · 22/02/2022 09:51

@Zillamop

Tell her it is culturally inappropriate in the UK.
She is putting Americanism into a British workplace. Its offensive to do this.
Drywhitefruitycidergin · 22/02/2022 09:52

This is sooooo cringe.....but the thread is brilliant & I've been giggling away to myself.
That workplaces are actively
I am grateful for an up-to-date CV and an active LinkedIn presence and to be living in a place with an active jobs market.
I am grateful that Marilyn finally replied to my email so that I could complete my overdue task (awesome team building boss 🙌)
I am grateful for wfh & freedom to choose cameras off and I can enjoy naked Thursdays.

A bad idea spectacularly poorly executed....Good luck OP do update us!

Monopolyiscrap · 22/02/2022 10:07

Other option is to have gratitudes full of buzzwords so that no one really understands what you are saying.
I am grateful for the convergence of forces in my personal life that have had a transformative power to optimise my mental health and improve both my efficiency and productivity beyond my wildest dreams.

babyjellyfish · 22/02/2022 10:09

@Grendalsmum

I'm so grateful l clicked on this thread. I've been trying to keep one of these bastard things since Christmas and it's doing my head in. I need to start an ingratitude journal - l'd have no trouble at all with that one! Three things that pissed me off today ... Grin
I might actually start doing this.
YouokHun · 22/02/2022 10:20

@StressyWoman

Bloody hell, has she copied a MLM hun? I’ve never heard gratitude mentioned anywhere else.
Yes, true, and in MLM “gratitude” is used as a way of keeping people on-message and distracting them from any critical analysis of the commercial cult they’re trapped in. Some of the well-being messages full of toxic positivity are just ways of controlling people and nothing to do with anyone’s well-being. Check if she’s signed up to Amway OP!
VivX · 22/02/2022 10:32

I worked for a company where everyone had to share things they were grateful for every week.
It was compulsory and you couldn't miss your turn unless you were off.
(British company and staff)
I wish I had thought of using song lyrics Grin

whynotwhatknot · 22/02/2022 10:41

No thanks id die before doing that

MrsToothyBitch · 22/02/2022 10:42

If you're stuck with it, I'd also start taking the song lyric approach tbh. I'd be seriously tempted to just go really abstract. So if it's three points at a time, how long would it take you to get through We Didn't Start the Fire. Or Joseph's Coat of Many Colours song! Maybe start with the chorus of King of Rock n Roll by Prefab Sprout. I am grateful for:
Hotdogs
Jumping Frogs
Albuerque.

Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 22/02/2022 10:46

Thank you allGrin I’ve collected a list of ideas, but where to start - they all all so bloody brilliant!

I think for the next meeting I’ll suggest the following to my colleagues to begin with: lyrics, monk chanting, gratitude for various sexual toys/acts and actually singing out gratitude. Love the gratitude about getting away with killing Tupac tooGrin

Manager doesn’t really get irony though so I worry some of the above might go over her head. I didn’t plan to go to HR but I think some of my colleagues want to raise a complaint as she is so insistent about this in every meeting - it’s actually an item on the weekly agenda. And the silence when no-one wants to ‘share’ is just excruciating. She sits on the Teams camera staring intently waiting and then someone gives a nervous cough and mumbles some made up gratitude crap.

I’m just sick of her relentless “always look on the brightside” shtick. I’m in the process of buying a house and it has been incredibly stressful. I made the mistake of mentioning it to her and got lots of advice about not focusing on the negatives, writing everything down and my heart will be filled with when I look back and see what I overcame.

What ever happened to just accepting life can be shit and wallowing in that for a bit without finding an upside!

OP posts:
EmmaH2022 · 22/02/2022 10:49

Eastie "What ever happened to just accepting life can be shit and wallowing in that for a bit without finding an upside!"

Yes. You could anonymously send a copy of Smile or Die by Barbara Ehrenreich?

I think she is damaging morale, worth saying to HR.

UserBotLurking9to5 · 22/02/2022 10:53

It sounds like toxic positivity and my mother forced it on me my whole life. No negative emotions allowed