To not keep a flipping ‘gratitude journal’

[Eastie77Returns]

New manager at work, from the US if that’s relevant, declared a few weeks back that she thought it would a great idea for the team to start keeping a gratitude journal. Not my cup of tea at all but I was wasn’t bothered as it was optional. Then journals arrived at our home addresses in the post, she’d ordered them for everyone

On our weekly team meetings she started asking volunteers to read journal entries aloud. When no-one volunteered, she picked people. A few colleagues ‘read’ clearly made up on the spot entries. When it was my turn I just said I’m not keeping the journal. I’m grateful for many things but I don’t write them down. She didn’t look happy and I’ve heard I’m now on her shit list for not being a team player or something. WIBU??!

I'm grateful to have the autonomy not to keep a gratitude journal. I am not at school, a Judy Blume character, in therapy or an Eastern Bloc gulag. Although I'm grateful for that. Shit.

When will Americans learn that although we understand each others language as they are almost the same?
We are not like them in many many ways.
Furthermore WE do not believe that we would be better (in any way) being MORE like them.
We also think it would be better if Ann Soccolas had not run away after the Accident.

Random word generation? If you all start going "Gravel, wombats, noodles, soap, oxygen, cardboard, oral sex, Downton Abbey, chairs, plankton ... " next time she asks she might give up in disgust!

You've all given me strength to bin my failed attempt at looking on the bright side - l thought it was just me but l realise now it was madness and distinctly un-british to boot!

"I am grateful that I overheard senior manager Bob say that he is going to fire you over this journal bullshit......"

Oh I just love things that are ‘voluntary’

I’m just sick of her relentless “always look on the brightside” shtick. I’m in the process of buying a house and it has been incredibly stressful. I made the mistake of mentioning it to her and got lots of advice about not focusing on the negatives, writing everything down and my heart will be filled with when I look back and see what I overcame.

She sounds like one of my bosses, who when I went into work to tell her that all treatment was being withdrawn from my terminally ill DH, and that he was likely to die within two or three weeks, told me not to be so negative and that miracles happen. Unbelieveable.

I should have seen it coming because she was one of those people who'd never listen to a work problem. We were always supposed to just fix it without bothering her, and stop being so negative.

@saraclara

I’m just sick of her relentless “always look on the brightside” shtick. I’m in the process of buying a house and it has been incredibly stressful. I made the mistake of mentioning it to her and got lots of advice about not focusing on the negatives, writing everything down and my heart will be filled with when I look back and see what I overcame.

She sounds like one of my bosses, who when I went into work to tell her that all treatment was being withdrawn from my terminally ill DH, and that he was likely to die within two or three weeks, told me not to be so negative and that miracles happen. Unbelieveable.

I should have seen it coming because she was one of those people who'd never listen to a work problem. We were always supposed to just fix it without bothering her, and stop being so negative.

Jesus @saraclara I don’t know what to say I’m so sorry (and for how insensitive a comment that was from your boss) I know it’s not the same at all but I’m trying to conceive and a woo friend told me that if you want something badly enough you can manifest it, so what she’s saying is that I don’t want it badly enough. Yeah, thanks

I’ve heard this referred to as toxic positivity and I think that’s a great way to describe it.

@saraclara

I’m just sick of her relentless “always look on the brightside” shtick. I’m in the process of buying a house and it has been incredibly stressful. I made the mistake of mentioning it to her and got lots of advice about not focusing on the negatives, writing everything down and my heart will be filled with when I look back and see what I overcame.

She sounds like one of my bosses, who when I went into work to tell her that all treatment was being withdrawn from my terminally ill DH, and that he was likely to die within two or three weeks, told me not to be so negative and that miracles happen. Unbelieveable.

I should have seen it coming because she was one of those people who'd never listen to a work problem. We were always supposed to just fix it without bothering her, and stop being so negative.

I'm so sorry to read this, that is horrendous.

"Stop being negative" is on a par with "don't come to me with problems, come with solutions". Trotted out by managers who do not want to or cannot effectively manage.

EmmaH2022 - I read that book by Barbara Ehrenreich (such a great writer). I think that's the one where she takes aim at the "positive Cancer" movement in the US after being diagnosed with breast cancer? It basically tells sick people that if they stop thinking negative thoughts they will beat Cancer.

I think your next entry should be “I’m so glad I’m
not fucking Pollyanna.”

Oh @saraclara that's dreadful. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

Good luck with the house buying OP. Was one of the most stressful things I've ever done and people giving consoling look on the bright side type advice (from the comfort of their own, purchased homes) rather than just letting me be stressed/crossed and support me through actual problems just fucked me off no end. I just wanted to give them all a smack in the chops.

Back to the problem at hand though, if going through the journals is on the work agenda and the team aren't happy about it, you definitely all need to feed that back. Also, is filling on the journals on work time or your time? Expecting you to fill them in on your own time to read out at work is really cheeky!

Another song for your journal, too: thank you for the daaaaaays....

It is very American to always look on the bright side. It can be positively harmful as well.

I am grateful I am not living in America.

@saraclara - that's so awful. I told one of my former bosses I was suicidal, with a plan of how I was going to do it, sobbing my heart out. I have a reputation at work of being very emotionally strong so this was so unlike me it should have raised a flag.

She shrugged & said 'everyone gets sad. Cheer up.' And walked out of the room, emailing me about 5 minutes later to pull me up on an extremely minor error that would have no consequences to the outcome of the matter at hand.

You could also get the office to start spamming her with gratitude platitude memes like this…

Or this

I am so sorry, @saraclara and @iklboo. Appalling insensitivity.

OP, another contribution for song lyrics/quotes you could slip in:

piña coladas
gettin' caught in the rain
makin' love at midnight in the dunes on the cape
the feel of the ocean
the taste of champagne

@iklboo I’m so sorry and I hope you have since found support elsewhere and are recovering.

@saraclara I’m so sorry for your loss - that is just awful

Honestly, I would speak to HR… She is projecting her own psychological needs and culture onto you and your department and it’s inappropriate and intrusive.

That's a really good way of putting it, actually. On one level, it's a bit like an agoraphobic friend/family member calling you and them demanding that you never leave your home again, because "it's just not safe and I'm only telling you what I expect you to do because I care about you - you will promise me, won't you?".

Toxic positivity is also a perfect description. Bad things don't just disappear by being ignored, they just allow somebody else to gaslight you and absolve themselves of any need to care about your feelings - all the while ticking a box to affirm that they've centred you and your feelings, because they care about your mental wellbeing.

God OP this sounds like a nightmare, and a real waste of company productive time, also if everyone's making it up, what is the point!

if you are expected to complete it during your working hours I'd go to her boss and say you've been struggling to complete your work as you've had to spend ages dithering over what's not too personal but personal enough to write to satisfy this mad loon.

Also SUM41 song Thanks for nothing might be good to pick from!

@HermioneGrangersHair @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

Thank you. I did eventually get proper support and now have a wonderful boss who's the complete opposite of her.

@UserBotLurking9to5

It sounds like toxic positivity and my mother forced it on me my whole life. No negative emotions allowed

I am so sorry to hear this. I know a woman like this and her adult children tell her that she lives in a dream world. She refuses to acknowledge anything negative.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

I am so sorry, *@saraclara and @iklboo*. Appalling insensitivity.

OP, another contribution for song lyrics/quotes you could slip in:

piña coladas
gettin' caught in the rain
makin' love at midnight in the dunes on the cape
the feel of the ocean
the taste of champagne

I love the idea of using song lyrics. But just a few lines at a time to make it less obvious.

"I'm grateful for all kinds of little seemingly-insignificant and random things that just spring into my mind and resonate so harmoniously with me.

I'm grateful for humming, when I can go MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm grateful for lone wolves, who prowl across the prairie and go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

I'm grateful for yodelers, who go EYOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOEYOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLEYOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOEYOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLEYOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOEYOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!

I'm grateful for primal screams, that just make me feel so alive and on top of my game when I go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I'm grateful for events-grade fireworks, that go......

I'm grateful for unbalanced washing machines, that go......

I'm grateful for cars with malfunctioning fan-belts, that go.......

I'm extremely grateful for my pneumatic-drill-user ear defenders, that the fates told me serendipitously to bring in and wear today at this meeting."

Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudles,
Door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles,
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
Silver white winters that melt into springs

Fire on the mountains
Run boy run
The Devil's in
The House of the Rising Sun
Chicken in the bread pan
Picking out dough
Granny
Does your dog bite
No, child, no

The Devil Went Down To Georgia chorus 😂