Words/sayings that had a profound effect on you.

[bubbleblower85]

What words or saying really effected you/changed your mentality/ helped you etc

Maya Angelou's words "when some one shows you who they are believe them" helped my leave an abusive situation. I realized the abuser was exactly that and they won't change so there was no point in trying to 'understand'/'excuse' their behaviour.

I keep this in mind now when in all my relationships. It's actually helping me to undo some cognitive dissonance over some siblings that are the lovely golden child and being told from.childhood that they're sweet, lovely etc but now I realise actually just how awful they were/are to me.

Along similar vein is "how they treat you is how they feel about you". This really helped me open my eyes to one particular sibling and their nastiness towards me.

Another saying I am trying to implement in my life retrospectively in some cases, is "be careful of what you tolerate; by what you tolerate you teach others how they can treat you".
Trying to step back from my 'pick me' 'begging for some kindness' behaviour, making clear to people that I am not happy with their behaviour.

This might sound daft but my physiotherapist told me “5 days a week counts as every day” for my physiotherapy- so for example, if I hit my step goal 5 days a week, that counts as doing it “every day”.

Anyway, things I used to aim to do every day (and end up failing and hardly doing them), I now try and do 5 days a week and don’t beat myself up at all if I miss a few. I take my multivitamin, do yoga, hit my step goal and eat 5+ portions of fruit and veg 5 days a week, which is way more than before, and I feel much more relaxed about things. Genuinely changed my life!

When I was learning to drive, my dad said to me, ‘assume everyone around you is a terribly driver and drive defensively.’ I’ve never forgotten it and it has actually helped me be very aware of where other cars are on the road and ensure I give them space. Came in handy a few times when I’ve been cut up, or someone has switched lanes without looking etc

"If you are silent about your pain, they will kill you and say you enjoyed it"..... as a result of this gem I'm no longer afraid to advocate for myself.

I heard a great phrase from Michael J Fox along the lines of 'There's no point worrying about the worst happening because all that means is that if it does happen, then the worst has happened and you've put yourself through it multiple times beforehand'

I think I subsequently heard a saying, maybe from northern England, that encapsulated that very neatly in a metaphor, but can't remember what it was!

I'm still not good at not catastrophising sometimes, but reminding myself of this does help.

Ah @ApocalypseNowt the short phrase I was looking for was 'Don't borrow trouble ahead of time' !

This is a lovely thread, by the way

People behave how you allow them to.

@TartanCulshie

Savage garden's song affirmation is amazing. Stand out line -

I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness

Made me realise it doesn't matter who is 'right', holding a grudge is just a waste

Also - least said, soonest mended

I think the lyrics to this are powerful, too 👍

Folks I’m telling you
Birthing is hard and dying is mean
So get yourself a little loving in between

• Langston Hughes

I love the Dr Seuss quote on this thread about having brains in your head and feet in your shoes so you can steer yourself in any way you choose.
I heard one similar but can’t remember it exactly - something like: You were put here on this Earth. Now go see what you can see.

"Don't let perfect be the enemy of good"

"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm"
"Dont compare yourself to how others are today, but to how you were yesterday"
"Isnt it funny how you can miss something but not want it back "
Found comfort and strength in these after many a set back

This thread has picked me up from a really dark, horrible place today. Thank you.

I've nominated it for classics.

"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig".

"Doing nothing is doing something" or "Inaction is an action". Always good to remember when being too indecisive.

" I was much too far out all my life

And not waving but drowning"
From the poem by Stevie Smith. A reminder that people put on fronts and can need help even when it may not be obvious.

And "Put on your own lifejacket before saving others, or you'll both drown"

Everything is a phase (said to me when I had a baby).

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always had (said to me by a financial advisor).

Not a phrase, but my dad always advised me to buy as much as I could as young as I could (relating to property).

You get what you settle for , from Thelma and Louise

“What other people think about you is none of your business” - has helped me many a time when I’m worrying how others think of me

The line from Mary Oliver's poem which Cheryl Strayed quoted in Wild - 'Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?'.

"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."

Hagrid

Not a saying as such, but when you tell yourself you cannot do something, try replacing the word cannot with will not and see if you you are really being honest with yourself.

"Your job is to take a look at what you have said that you can't do and evaluate it - is it true that you can't do it, or is it that you won't do it. If you can't, then no one will ever be able to help you. If you won't, then that is a choice, and that can be addressed." www.psychologytoday.com/ie/blog/dont-try-harder-try-different/201103/cant-versus-wont

This one annoys me because it is true and I can't hide behind the logic.

"Success is not the same thing as excellence."

@Rapidash

Another Maya Angelou one for me:

'You did then what you knew how to do. When you knew better, you did better'

This is my favourite.

I think of it when people start harping on about anything to try and justify their behaviour (like racism, smacking children whatever) we know better so we do better.

"What's for you won't go past you" is one of my favourites.

Another I used when I was young and fairly successful in my career, still call on but from the perspective of now being pretty old in my chosen field ... "If you're good enough you're the perfect age"

Don't listen to the opinion of someone you wouldn't go to for advice.

Don't compare how you feel on the inside with how others appear on the outside.

Done is better than perfect.

Inaction is a weapon of mass destruction

Kill them with kindness

No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much

Inspiring thread OP x