Today my teenager was upset because.....

[Positivelypatient]

On the back of the amusing threads about the irrationality of toddlers and their meltdowns, I have this for you.

Today my 17 DD is upset because I suggested booking an expensive (for me as a single parent) spa day for her and her sisters and me that we would go to on her 18th birthday. I hasten to add this is NOT in place of presents, cake and special attention for the birthday girl. Apparently I have made her feel worthless for suggesting she share her special day with her family.

Placemarking.

@LaetitiaASD, so should leave a 16 years old home alone and go away for a couple of weeks? I know I wouldn't do that. Although, so far, mine are quite happy to go away with us.

I’m the guilty party here.

When I was little, my parents & older siblings had to work in agriculture during the summer months to make ends meet; they sent me to live high up in the mountains with my grandparents in the meantime.
When they’d visit, I’d cry and tell them they didn’t love me because they abandoned me to go off to live without me — anything to make my mum feel as guilty and horrible as possible. It started when I was 5.
I still cringe 50 years later — they spent that money on school clothes and other essentials for me for school and food for our family.
What a horrible little child.

Because I wouldn't drop him and his mates off at their chosen destination, come home then go back and pick them up again at the end of the day, on my day off, you may think I was being slightly mean as it's not a lot to ask, the chosen destination is 2&1/2 hrs away from us, so a 5 hr round drive both ways, his way round this was to suggest I busiest my self somewhere nearby where they were to save myself some of the drive 😩

It took the best part of an hour to wake me up when he came home at 2am without his key.

To make matters worse, I’d shut the kitchen window so he couldn’t get in through there.

He tried everything to get into the house and was locked out in the pissing rain.

Take his key?! You’re kidding. I ought to know he’s forgetful…. 🙄

I never had kids, but I was a pretty awful teenager. I remember my mum offering to take us on a theatre weekend to London and I sighed and rolled my eyes, feeling bitterly exploited. I think anything that distracted from the possibility of mating with the opposite sex struck me as a painful waste of time.

Also when she tried to make conversation with me, I'd often say coldly, "Haven't you got a book to read?"

Half a century on and I am still trying to make it up to her. I'd give anything now to turn the clock back and be able to have a London weekend trip with her, or just have her in the room chatting to me. These things seemed so simple and boring and normal back then, and I wish I knew why.

I'm sure your daughter will realise one day!

My son once asked if he could see my Cellulite (for Biology) Explained I hadn't got any. He went storming off, slamming the door shouting if he failed his exams it would be my fault!

DS asked me what there was for lunch. I suggested he make a sandwich.

But he had a sandwich yesterday and anyway that's not a proper lunch so now he'll have to go to Tesco to get something decent to eat and could I pay for it?

The fridge is rammed with food and he's 22, FFS.

@MrsBa is that a humblebrag?

Yep.. think this is most teenagers.. they don't mean to be rude and don't realise what they say might be hurtful.. apparently your moral compass and inner conscience don't fully develop until you're around 22 years old ...so basically anyone under 22 do and say things they don't realise might actually be a bit dickish.. lol

Oh god. I have a baby and toddler and this thread is starting to make me think toddlers are easier.

Goodness, teenagers are the gift that keeps on giving it seems, some of these are hilarious and some of the more extreme reactions I can only commiserate with you as I know exactly what you're dealing with.

@Pendore little ones are a different kind of exhausting but at least at that age they still think you're the best.

Teens - its like having to be nice to the rudest person you will ever meet day after day. They do grow out of it, i have 2 DDs who are out there other side but this last one, boy does she challenge me!

[quote Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme]@MrsBa is that a humblebrag? [/quote]
I was going to post similar!

My 14 year old lost it on Sunday and called me a stupid woman because he wouldn’t get out of bed and was late for rugby 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh yes definitely :)

Totally the holiday thing - messing up their social life

My teenager is annoyed by my breathing.…it’s like living with a room mate who doesn’t like you, pinches your stuff, eats everything and never pays rent.

He’s mainly sulking currently because I’ve said it’s Uni or get a job & pay board.

Ah you're obviously bringing it on yourself there by refusing to fund him doing nothing now he's an adult

@MrsBa good for you…I’d probably mention it at every opportunity if I was me!

My husband has a 15 year old who stays with us quite a bit - we have ab7 month old

I swear the 7 month old is much easier to deal with than he is at the moment 😭

This incident was about 15yrs ago and I still haven't got any!

This mad me really laugh. Bless her she's still at tgat age when mates are more important to her. It won't be long before that changes. And imo your offer was such a lovely offer!

My mum (82) keeps trying to involve my 19yo son and his 20 yo male cousin in everything she does, i bet they feel the same! Bless her!

My husband has a 15 year old who stays with us quite a bit - we have ab7 month old

I swear the 7 month old is much easier to deal with than he is at the moment

My DD was a dream at 7 months, you have been warned!

@bendmeoverbackwards

Anyone have a teen who prefers one parent to another? Dd3 (14.5) just can’t stand her dad at the moment. It’s very hard for him. He’s a kind loving father and she’s so nasty to him. I’m hoping it’s just a phase.

It happens. I was closest to my Dad, then he was away working for the best part of a year when I was in my teens. When he came back, I was closer to Mum (might have happened anyway to a girl of at that age) Settled down to evens for bit. Then I had to spend an extra year at home after A Levels. Argued with dad regularly and hotly, often over nothing much, even though he really did nothing wrong. He was a great Dad too (like staying up late to collect me after my one night out each week because he wanted me to be safe, which to be fair, I was very grateful and thankful for even at the time.) I hope I was never nasty, but I think I was learning to be more assertive with men, a good thing, but practicing on him, which was unfair. I think a lot of scratchy-ness with teens is just them really needing to be more independent, learning boundaries, and as I said in an earlier post, chafing at the bit. If she's arguing, that's one thing. But if she's being genuinely nasty, that's another, and she may need to hear a few words about people not having the right to go around hurting other people. Teenagers can forget that adults have feelings too.