Today my teenager was upset because.....

[Positivelypatient]

On the back of the amusing threads about the irrationality of toddlers and their meltdowns, I have this for you.

Today my 17 DD is upset because I suggested booking an expensive (for me as a single parent) spa day for her and her sisters and me that we would go to on her 18th birthday. I hasten to add this is NOT in place of presents, cake and special attention for the birthday girl. Apparently I have made her feel worthless for suggesting she share her special day with her family.

@EdenFlower I’m interesting on hearing your perspective on this. Having worked with teenagers and their families for a long time this is parenting a teenager 101

This is a great thread OP. My eldest is 7 and I fear for what's to come. Especially since I was a total dick when I was a teenager!

My EXTREMELY hormonal preteen cried and stormed off in a huff the other day because I was helping her little brother(3) get his socks on and I never help her 🤷🏻‍♀️

Because I never got her horse riding lessons, and if there is ever a casting for a film that requires the skill of riding a horse she won't get the part and it will be all my fault.

My 16 year old had a sulk today as I needed to pop to the doctors when she wanted a lift to college. ‘How long is that going to take? I need to get to college and it’s time dependent as friend is having a crisis’ - I pointed out that she could have got the bus rather than trying to get me to change my plans.

She then text me from college to say that the taxi company cancelled her taxi so she couldn’t get to work so could I come and pick her up - I’m 99% sure she hadn’t even bothered to book said taxi. So I turn up to pick her up and no sight of her. Took me 4 times of phoning for her to finally answer her phone and then gave me attitude as she had been with her friends as it was taking me too long 🙄

@hellswelshy Teen ridden brow. Will so use this

snowflake29f This is not a very nice or positive thing to say, we are doing our best. 😡

I’m in the bad books for being so mean & telling her to concentrate on her Maths tutor Zoom call as I caught her paying no attention & was in fact writing her Christmas list!

I opened my sons bedroom blind it had been down for days/weeks maybe months … he still shouts about me touching his stuff !

My teenage DD wouldn't invite her friend round on pancake day because we squeeze real lemons on them, not Jif 'like everyone else'.

I was also yelled at a few times for 'hiding' her coat (I'd moved it from the doormat to the coat rack).

The best one was when she was 13 and she accused me of being a bully because I told her it was time to muck out her pony.

Well I think your daughter has had other ideas such as a party with her friends say. Or doing something with her friends of her choice. Don't forget she is a teenager and everything is dramatised,🙄. You have offered a beautiful gift aswell as her other gifts and cake etc. But she is obviously wanting her independence and freedom to choose what she wants. But don't feel bad for offering your daughter a lovely present. Good luck,❤️

@creampuff99

I spent hours tidying up son's room when he was at College, making piles outside his room of all clothes too small for him etc. He came home, put all his clothes back, threw the hoover down the stairs and came to mess my room up so that I could see what it felt Like. Internet is down for up to 72 hours so both teenagers in a complete huff with me as it is clearly my fault that someone crashed into the BT box up the road 🤦‍♀️

Jesus. That's horrible. Your son needs a wake up call or he's going to end up being a right abusive arse. Throwing something heavy like a hoover down stairs is mad.

@AmazingBouncingFerret

I allowed my 15 year old son to connect his Spotify during a car journey.

He was OUTRAGED to find out that I knew all the words to Gangsta’s Paradise.

Mine was incandescent with rage when I cruelly mentioned that one of the reasons I knew it so well was because when it was released, I was 23.

And then I completely destroyed her life by my not just knowing of a little niche band called Nirvana, there was photographic and video evidence of my doing so at a festival where the setlist contained numbers from other little known groups such as Soundgarden, Nine Inch Nails, The Vaselines, Alice in Chains and Hole. Whilst looking very blonde and slim . She didn't appreciate the discovery of this online treasure trove (which I hadn't known about, she's the one who went looking), nor did she the fact that this sort of thing was literally how I paid for her dance/music/pony lessons whilst she was staying at her father's place EOW.

@honeygriff- At my house, the hair tongs would have gone missing, as in a plastic bag and hidden in cat food bin/sewing stash/father’s fishing waders. Burning bed and head means she is too reckless to use these.

Teach teens to wash, dry, and iron their own clothes. There will be far less trying on/spoiling clean things if they have to deal with them themselves.

@Mykittensmittens

My 13yo DD is just being a completely stereotypical moody teen. She flaps her arms, mumbles, huffs and sighs and eye rolls and tells us we don’t understand, and we’re so unfair.

So I played her the Harry Enfield clip of Kevin and Perry, the one where Kevin turns 13 and goes from a lovely boy excited to get super Mario, to a moody teen who flaps his arms, mumbles, huffs and sighs and eye rolls and says his parents don’t understand and are unfair.

She gave us a look that would kill, rolled her eyes, flapped her arms, sighed, huffed and said ‘I am SO nothing like that, you are SO unfair’…. And banged off up the stairs

I love the bit where one of them is round his friends house and is all sweet, polite and comprehensible to his friends mum, then reverts when speaking on the phone to his own mum.

That’s what you call ungrateful. Say she doesn’t have to go and you and her sisters go have a spa day instead!!!

No I don’t your are correct. My DD is 25 and my DS is 22 .

My 12 year old hates when I point out that the 'latest' songs he loves came out when I was a teenager, he practically seethes if I dare to sing them when they're playing. London underground was a fun one because he thought he was being Edgy and cool after 'discovering' such a 'rude' song so imagine how angry he was when I sang over it 😂😂😂

As much as having a teen with an attitude at home is a pain, let's all remember that your children behave like this because they have safety and security from you. I know teens who never went through a rebel stage because they knew they would have ended up on the street if they said/done something wrong.
I never rebelled either, I was too busy working after school to pay rent because my father was drinking his wages away and my mother was too depressed to work. I had the anger with me but survival took over.
For me all your teens sound like very happy children, well done Mumsnet mums 🙂

She was maybe hoping for a party with her friends.
I know at her age I didn't get on that well with my sister, it was annoying she was 18 months older than me and it frustrated me, that she was blowing all her pay (part time job) I didn't have one, but she loved rubbing, all her purchases in my face, knowing I would love to have, the same thing but without a job, I was too young, my parents couldn't afford to buy it for me.
So I hated my sister as she was making life more miserable.
So I can see spending the day with, her sisters, who you might think get on, perhaps they don't get on that well, will not make her feel special, to her it's just another day, (yes, it's expensive and at a spa) she will see it as being stuck with her annoying family.
Sorry, but she will not see it as special, like you do.

My DD15 and DD13 are very annoyed when I tell them the the songs they have just ‘discovered’ are NOT, in fact, TikTok songs, but are well known songs that I know all the words to. I do enjoy winding them up about it!

Just had a row over the work placement I have arranged for 15 year old DS. Set in a very 'naice' hotel with its own golf course and leisure centre. (He is sport mad) Apparently all his friends have much better ones arranged by the school in places like McDonald's 🤔🤔🤔 To add insult to injury I also suggested that he doesn't go on a 5 mile run before his first day, until he knows exactly what is expected of him. Now I just want him to never exercise again 😁😂😅

@thiskiwicanfly

The utter abhorrence of my actions today - opening her bedroom curtains and window at 2pm... It's Monday, it's a school day (although lockdown virtual school) and it smelled like a pair of old shoes in there! What a cruel mother I am!

Lol! I got growled at by my 16 yr old DS because I tried to close his bedroom window as it was blowing a gale through - he said “I like the fresh air!!”🤣🤣🤣. Usually it’s a fight to open it, even though our eyes are watering due to the stench of his football boots (which shouldn’t be in his room anyway but you can soon tell when they are🤢).