Today my teenager was upset because.....

[Positivelypatient]

On the back of the amusing threads about the irrationality of toddlers and their meltdowns, I have this for you.

Today my 17 DD is upset because I suggested booking an expensive (for me as a single parent) spa day for her and her sisters and me that we would go to on her 18th birthday. I hasten to add this is NOT in place of presents, cake and special attention for the birthday girl. Apparently I have made her feel worthless for suggesting she share her special day with her family.

I'd be horrified if my teens ever called me a bitch, they have never said anything like this!

Sorry - should have got to the end and read your update above. Why on earth would you wait for him to do it again?!

24 hours without wifi is a start, but I'd rethink how much your compassion and understanding is getting in the way of setting appropriate boundaries. They need to push back against something, of course they do - and boys will definitely come at their mothers, the old detach to reattach thing - but there has to be a real line in the sand when it comes to shit like this.

I'm sorry, it sounds tough for you.

Some of these are brilliant 😂 takes me back to my DD being a teenager. I'm so glad she's a functional adult now!

Went to visit 19 year old DD at uni, her request, shes been there a month. Its was a 4 hour journey there and 4 back, stayed in a hotel. She was happy the first day, the next day, she was grumpy, stroppy and rude all day. I felt unwell in the evening so she stropped even more and told me I didn't need to visit again. I thought she would have grown out of this by now. Sorry not very light hearted!

Dd had said on turning 16 she wanted to have a bit of alcohol so I suggested to dh he buy a little bit for her to have on her birthday at home. He suggested prosecco to have with the cake. On telling her this she replied it is just you that wants alcohol. as I do not normally drink at all.

Then we have had we have never been a family that celebrates birthdays or Christmas and she has never had cake for her birthday. She has had cake every year, often I have bought expensive cakes from the bakers and Christmas has been celebrated every year including one trip to Lapland at Christmas.

Omg I've found my tribe!

They are such selfish ungrateful little fuckers!

The dog didn’t want to hang out in his room. Can’t blame the dog - it has a survival instinct.

The teenagerprotips account on IG recommended upthread is brilliant! I've been sending various posts to my 16 year old dd all evening. The response has been: 😑 which is perfect and means I know it's hitting the mark.

He's on a warning at college and if he doesn't improve, will get thrown out.

Just turned 18

Teenager - It doesn't matter I'll go just back to my secondary school!

Me - Um no darling that's not how it works! Basically you're fucked and will have to work full time in your retail job.

Teenager - I'm not working full-time, I hate my retail job.

Me - If you get chucked out of college not only will you be working full time but you'll be giving me £350 a month board.

Teenager - oh

Me -

Teenager - I'm just going out with my mates.

Me - And your homework?

Teenager - shrug

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My 17yo DD is furious with me for a variety of reasons but the funniest by far is that I didn't have the forethought to retain my clothing from the 90's which she has seen in photographs and now wants. Apparently I should have realised back then that at some point it would be fashionable once again and my as yet unborn daughter would want it.

My teen had a huff at teatime because we gave permission for her to visit a college friend who live in another town but only on condition we have their contact details and address. Apparently we are being overprotective!

@SunshineCake1 You are right I think it really surprised her that we didn't rush upstairs to her bedroom and beg her to go with us. Also, curiously enough, her behaviour has improved since then and my BFF hasn't had any other major tantrums from her. However, her mum hasn't arranged any surprises since then either. I still love them both to bits though, and do look forward to DD getting through her difficult years as she really is a lovely girl at heart.

@JudgeJ Wow! So teens wouldn't be this way were it not for American tv programming?

@Silkieschickens

Then we have had we have never been a family that celebrates birthdays or Christmas and she has never had cake for her birthday. She has had cake every year, often I have bought expensive cakes from the bakers and Christmas has been celebrated every year including one trip to Lapland at Christmas.

I feel your pain, I've had all of that too & I've made her a favourite fancy cake with blood sweat & tears every bloody year!! When I pointed this out to her yet again, she followed it up by changing her mind on the cake I was baking for the birthday she had a few days later. This was after I'd bought all of the ingredients & started to make it, she asks if it's lemon cake.. . It isn't because she'd asked for coffee pecan cake. She wants lemon, I can't give her lemon cake. Her response... "told you that I don't get birthday cakes from you"😏
She didn't touch the birthday cake & refused to take any ti her friends or offer her boyfriend any 🤬
I didn't bother this year, what's the point 🤦‍♀️

DD14 was furious earlier because I wouldn't let her eat sausage rolls and brownies. I was stood next to her abs cooking her tea at the time abs had explained that it would be ready in half an hour.

Apparently I'm completely unreasonable to expect her to wait for me to cook a meal for the family.

@ChicCroissant

I haven't read all the thread yet but if you have Insta or FB I'd recommend following teenagerprotips for more of the same. People submit photos of food left in random places and (white, must be white) trainers in doorways.

I have also used the screens to order a McDonalds in Paris/Barcelona/anywhere, just set the screen to your language and you're away!

Thats a little bit too close to the truth Chic 😂/ 😭

My almost adult (18 in a matter of a couple of weeks) has turned back into a petulant child today

I had the audacity of asking him to sort tea, literally sorting a ready made pasta bake and garlic bread as I was studying and DH was working. DS's first day of a two week half term, apparently he's not well, but hasn't stopped him spending the last few hours shouting at his mates on the Xbox

He then, having not done tea, appeared and plonked himself at the table, refused to talk to anyone, refused to clear his own plate then walked back upstairs.

All because I had the audacity to ask him to do something.

This is someone who in less than a year will need to be totally self sufficient at Uni - good luck to his housemates

The more I read, the more I love this thread. I know some of the behaviour we deal with is outside of normal, but it's great to see just how much more of it is actually normal teen behaviour 🥴😂

Another from mine, I worked in fashion, as a result I have samples of my old designs & some pretty decent clothes & accessories to pass onto her packed in the attic. She loves them, lives in them.

When asked on her TikTok wear she got her "fabulous dress" from, she couldn't possibly own up to her mother designing it & went for "it's vintage NewLook' instead 😏😂

My DS16 recently told me he was absolutely sick and tired and SO annoyed with me, that every day when he comes home I ask 'How has your day been?' apparently I could use 'Other' words rather than repeating myself like a robot.

So I have shook it up and he is getting crosser. 'Good day fine squire, was the college from whence you came a suitable learning establishment'? I've tried ''Oh, you're back. Didn't know you had left. Where have you been?'' Apparently I am NOT funny.

Blinds. His bloody bedroom blinds can't be opened. This is a new thing. He literally yells if I go near them. I suspect he might be part vampire and I have a possible 'Lost Boys' situation on my hands.

I accepted his friends facebook request. He was absolutely furious, and said I was 'Bang out of order' to have accepted the request and I should have deleted it. His friend I have known since a toddler and have fed dinner to a zillion times in my own home.

I hoovered his bedroom. Apparently he did this only last month and said I have a 'Cleaning Problem'.

My dd hates been left in house alone. She's 12 not yet a teen. Anyways she got of the school bus which isn't far from home. I get her sister for 330. I met her to close to the bus stop in my car. She looked at me. Pulled a face and walked off and didn't even acknowledge me. So I had to drive of turn around and come back when every one had gone

I am pregnant with my first and I should NOT be reading this 😬 (though it is amusing!)

Definitely not! The Tottler thread should have been enough to save you

I've often thought of loaning out my DD to Mums TTC so that they can see what they are letting themselves in for but the little bugger is of course a complete angel if anyone else is around...

*Toddler

DS is at uni and no longer a teenager. I was howling the other day. He was telling me how he'd spent the whole day cleaning his house share from top to bottom. He'd just sat down when his housemate came home with his girlfriend, they'd brought a takeaway and left food wrappers and left over food all over the kitchen and then gone straight to his room.

• Can you imagine how frustrating that is mum?

• Well now you come to mention it son

Rocking Can understand you not making a cake this year. Also have the changing mind all the time as well including my favourite DD school have asked what you want. Dd I want choice A so I tell school DD wants choice A. Dd gets home and I tell her I told school. She replied why did you listen to me, you know I change my mind all the time so why did you tell school.

Also have her taking all of my clothes unless I get floral ones so I bought myself a Joules coat. Told her had got myself a coat. She said I am stealing that. I said its floral. She replied why did you get a floral one I cant steal that.

Then she told her posh friend at school that her mother insisted they live in a peasant house as her Mum loves thatched cottages. Posh friend replies I love thatched cottages and would love to live in one.

Then another time she moaned to a group of kids who are in families struggling for money that her Mum was mean with money only allowing her 2 takeaway pizzas a week not three. Friends pointed out they sometimes have no food at all. To her credit she did then start bringing them food.

I asked if she wants to come on next years holiday. She replied where is it to. I said I do not know yet due to covid etc. She said well if its to Greenland or California I am coming, otherwise I will decide later. Then oh you asking me means you do not want me does not it. I explained no I was just planning and would prefer her with us.

Me: “Put your laundry in the washing machine.”
DS13: puts laundry in washing machine. Does not put in detergent. Does not turn on washing machine.
Me: “Put in the tab and turn it on.”
DS13: “I HAVE TO DO ALL THE JOBS AND SHE points quivering finger at DD15 DOESN’T HAVE TO DO ANY OF THE JOBS.”