What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

My pfb twins were born 9 weeks premature, in my defense. Their paediatrician told us to start weaning from 4 months, but they were still so tiny and vulnerable looking to me. They also couldn't properly hold their heads up, but i was told in no uncertain terms that i had to start.

Anyway, i thought the lumps in weetabix might be too big for their tiny little bellies so i blended the dry weetabix in the blender before i put the milk in i did only do it once before i realised it was batshit, and i was suffering from undiagnosed PTSD from their birth at the time. Weaning was tough!

I did also get my dh to tell my BIL and SIL not to light so many candles in their home when we came round. To be fair, there was multiple incense, diffusers and lit candles in every single room all the time, and one of my pfbs was sick for no other reason. I don't blame him though i thought i was going to be sick too.

It doesn't reflect well on me that the behaviour described in each of these stories sounds pretty reasonable...

I've clearly got issues

Yes, indeed you were, OP.
Crowing about the achievements of one's offspring can come back to bite you as the younger, not so bright but normal, son may progress in leaps and bounds, end up with a better more fulfilling job and outshine the brother you laud so loudly.

i just looked on adoringy while my pfb bit into an apple in the health visitors office, and dropped the bites all over the floor
i remember she looked at me quizzically but i was so proud of his apple biting genius i did nothing

@WillaWeatherspoon

My worst PFB moment was walking backwards with the pram for the whole mile home from town on a sunny day. I didn't have a parasol, didn't want the sun getting on my baby, and even though the pram had the capability to detach the carrycot section and put it back on facing the opposite direction, I didn't want to do that either because I thought he'd be scared if he couldn't see my face. I must have looked like a right twat.

You wouldn't have looked like a twat. Any reasonable person would realise that you were sensibly protecting your bairn from the sun. An unreasonable person, probably would not have even noticed the reversed pram.

This has made me realise that I also acted a little crazy!

Specifically tracking each feed, which side and how long. How many mls of expressed milk. In my defence, midwife that visited day after we got home from hospital (3 days old) was concerned that PFB had lost 10.4% of her birth weight and said she'd take her back to hospital if she hadn't put on weight by the next day. EBF and I felt like such a failure. DH was even more anxious than me and still tells people she threatened to take our baby away.
I used to tie a hairband around my bra strap to indicate which side I'd used. I still think it's a good idea, if only I could remember if the hairband meant that's the one I previously used or that's the one I was supposed to use next

I'd resterilise any dummy that ended up face down in her completely clean moses basket.

Didn't have any cake, chocolate etc until 1yr old. Her first taste of cake was her 1st bday and she didn't like it. I still don't see anything wrong with this, but my family were acting like it was child abuse to not give her a piece of chocolate from an advent calendar every day at 9 months.
I basically gave in at a year as everyone else was making it into an issue, when I just thought there was no need to specifically buy and give her food she wasn't asking for or interested in (she makes up for it now).

Both myself and DH are still quite anxious about either kid getting hurt. But I used to be on the verge or tears if anyone held her standing up, and when our parents had her overnight I'd keep thinking about them falling down the stairs while carrying her.

I'd also wake up searching the bed for her, paranoid I'd suffocated her. Chucking duvets and pillows about and getting myself in a state. DH would gently calm me and explain that PFB didn't, and never had, shared our bed

To my shame, I pureed blueberries when my PFB was approx 7 months old, because I was concerned that (even 'squished') they might present a choking hazard. Having pureed them, I was disappointed to see that there were still small bits of blueberry skin present. So obviously I SIEVED the blueberry puree to remove that. Unfortunately, what those two processes does to blueberries is turn the pureee into one, massive, solid, gelatinous lump of blueberry jelly. So I found myself back at square one. I kept it in the fridge and carefully shaved off tiny slithers of blueberry lump to give to PFB.

He's now ten and is currently upside down on a swing eating a packet of Nerds for breakfast.

I am, however, the woman who made her DH seal the letterbox shut from the inside when we got our first rescue cat because I was worried the two-stone furry monster might somehow use his claws to prise open the letterbox from the inside, squeeze his massive heft through the tiny letterbox and escape and become lost.

So looking back I think maybe I am the common denominator here rather than the PFB.

@MumsMeaningfulMayhem

It doesn't reflect well on me that the behaviour described in each of these stories sounds pretty reasonable... I've clearly got issues

Don't worry @MumsMeaningfulMayhem . If I'd have read this thread when my PFB was tiny, it would probably have made me cry, and I would have thought you were all meany monsters.

Looking back, I almost can't believe it was me who did those things, and thought like that!

We took DS to the supermarket when he was about four days old and there was an old man there shopping on his own. And I cried about that because what if one day my DS was old and all alone? The chap could have had a whole family at home and just nipped out for some peace and a top up shop!

That's reminded me about the time I cried because it occurred to me that one day Me and my husband would die and there'd be no one left in the world to love my son like we do. No one else who would step in-front of a bus for him. Also, when he goes to school, there's people there who might not even like him (gasp).

Also, when I was small I had this ugly handpuppet baby that I adored. My PFB looked so much like this when she was born, I even mentioned it to my Dad when he came to visit in hospital. I still thought she was the most adorable baby ever to exist.

I sometimes wonder even now if my kids are actually cute looking or if my judgement is clouded. It's not like you can trust other people's judgement, they always say babies are cute.

We also had professional photos taken of PFB. Didn't bother for second baby, who has never let us forget it

PFB - millions of pictures, adults cooing over them
DC2 - quite a lot of pictures, less cooing
3&4 - "there were other children"?

Some of these are amazing.

For my PFB I made soap, wipes, baby powder myself, nappy rash cream, ready for when he was born. All natural ingredients…cost a fortune. Now DS2 is lucky if he gets a dunk with Aldi own brand

The blueberry lump is another cracker

I remember my friend, who is (was - now retired) a GP, said that she often had to coo at patients' babies and would agree with them that they really were beautiful because especially PFBs are in the eyes of their parents but that sometimes she'd struggle to come up with something credible to say because the child in front her was sooooo ugly

Many years ago when I had just had my first, a lady (in hospital) came around asking new mums if they wanted photos taken of their babies. Of course I jumped at this and ordered extra copies, so every member of my family (and friends) could have a picture of the most beautiful baby! I would stare at this photo and swear my child was model material! Would huff if i visited people and didn't see photo on prominent display! Few years later I looked at photo and the lightbulb went...nope.. definitely wasn't most beautiful baby...just a little prune in a sleep suit...said photo is now boxed up in attic

“Shaved blueberry jelly” 😂

I ran out of a baby group crying frantically strapping PFB in his buggy because too many church ladies were trying to hug him/kiss him/pick him up and I was scared he get a cold or flu from them! Ds2 I practically passed around at baby groups like 'here you go just give me a break from him be 10 minutes!'

I'd also wake up searching the bed for her, paranoid I'd suffocated her. Chucking duvets and pillows about and getting myself in a state. DH would gently calm me and explain that PFB didn't, and never had, shared our bed

SAMESIES I almost cried on waking once thinking I'd done this!

I recall once taking DS1 aged about 22 months to New Zealand from the UK to see family. He was hyper and awake and although not yet walking (global developmental delay) he was very very active.

I finally fell asleep and woke up some hours later to a darkened cabin. DS was nowhere to be seen. It was like a film i once saw with Jodie foster - the child had just vanished. I ran in a total (silent) hysteria up and down the plane.

About 10 minutes later I found him. he had slipped off his seat, and down into the footwell underneath the seat in front and was snoring gently.

Left him there and ordered 2 large gin and tonics.

@Biancadelrioisback

Im not even sure how to explain this...i stranded 3 weeks old DS and I and ended up ringing DH in tears to leave work and come pick us up. How were we stranded? Well it was my first outing with just DS and I and I took him for a walk in his pram. I was so enamoured with my baby that I hadn't realised straight away that the pavement was in need of resurfacing and was causing the pram to wobble a bit. When I realised I genuinely cried because I thought DS would have shaken baby syndrome. DH thought there had been an accident but found me frozen to the spot on the street too scared to move either way incase I made it worse.

I had my PFB in her pram visiting my grandparents and when coming out of their house I went down the front door step a bit too quickly and the pram jolted (ever so slightly) I spent the rest of the day crying and googling shaken baby syndrome, it was so traumatic!

I'd also wake up searching the bed for her, paranoid I'd suffocated her. Chucking duvets and pillows about and getting myself in a state. DH would gently calm me and explain that PFB didn't, and never had, shared our bed.

We used a cosleeping crib for DD, which was to my left. The number of times I woke DH (sleeping peacefully on my right) convinced that the tiny, non-rolling baby had climbed over me and was in the process of falling out of bed doesn't bear thinking about... Luckily he's an indulgent man! (Especially considering I was still doing it months after she went into her own room!)

I’m still completely mortified by this and DD is almost 12!

The morning after having DD I rang DH in absolute hysterics, I mean full on screaming and crying at him to get to the hospital ASAP as there was something wrong with the baby. He managed to make the 45min drive to the hospital in record time, literally ran into the ward to find me absolutely inconsolable. He managed to calm me down enough to tell him what was wrong. I’d somehow managed to convince myself that DD had Down Syndrome, but at that point forgot to mention that I had diagnosed her not any medical professional.

Needless to say DD was fine - I was later diagnosed with a host of MH issues some down to her very traumatic birth. But 100% not one of my best moments.

@idontlikealdi

I had excel spreadsheets logging every feed, nappy change, naps and night sleep and medication for DTs.

To be fair they were prem, and I was VERY sleep deprived so needed to keep track.

When I went back to work I had a schedule logged out for the day for every 10 minutes and what they should be doing in those 10 minute slots😬

Their granny was lowest - she used to warm the wipes on the radiator in case they were too cold and dettol the dogs feet when he came in from a walk!

🤣🤣 granny dettol the dogs feet when came in from a walk. Made me laugh out loud. Brilliant.

@firstimemamma

I was determined to establish breastfeeding and read somewhere that it's a good idea to log feeds. I took this to the extreme and for about 6 weeks I kept a note of literally every single feed (EBF) he had - even if he was cluster feeding and having 20 feeds a day. Every feed was logged down to the exact minute e.g left boob 3:19-3:37pm. The breastfeeding counsellor at my local support group thought I was mental and told me I didn't need to do it but I didn't listen. I think around the 6-8 week mark it gradually stopped.

I did this 😂