What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

@winteroversummer

It's all coming flooding back. I wouldn't wear perfume and only showered in unscented products because didn't want my PFB to be confused about why his mum smells different.

I also called 111 when he was three months and had his first cold and they asked the generic dramatic questions that they always do to work out if it's something serious, and they said 'is he struggling for breath with every breath' and I replied 'yes' because he was snotty and technically finding it tricky... before my husband took the phone off me and corrected me

Same here re perfume! I only wore natural deodorant too. I now realised I smelt hideous for the first 6 months of my baby's life. How I made mum friends I'll never know...

I've told this story on here before, but...

DS1 was about two weeks old and I had him in the sling and managed to open the cupboard door directly into his head, with a bit of a bang. I was convinced that I had given him a brain injury, and rang 111 in hysterics. They sent me to A&E (the way I was going on I think they thought the baby's head was basically caved in), where a very nice, patient doctor looked at the clearly fine baby, listened to the story and asked if DS had cried much at the time. I then admitted he had been asleep throughout, at which point the doctor, just slightly less patiently, said 'right, well we would normally expect that a head injury that we'd need to see in A&E would actually wake a child up...'

Incidentally the last time I told that story on MN a poster told me that I was the reason that the NHS was in collapse and it made me feel awful, but I sense that this thread is rather more full of kindred/equally bonkers spirits...

As a recent recipient of PFBmess, I had a mum ring me and ask me about the availability of school places in the locality...her child was 2 weeks old and "she knew he was going to be gifted and talented". I said sarcastically we didn't have any primary schools specialising in G&T children in the borough and it went right over her head, but she seemed quite put out.

@firstimemamma

I was determined to establish breastfeeding and read somewhere that it's a good idea to log feeds. I took this to the extreme and for about 6 weeks I kept a note of literally every single feed (EBF) he had - even if he was cluster feeding and having 20 feeds a day. Every feed was logged down to the exact minute e.g left boob 3:19-3:37pm. The breastfeeding counsellor at my local support group thought I was mental and told me I didn't need to do it but I didn't listen. I think around the 6-8 week mark it gradually stopped.

I did this for 10 months

DH and I boiled water, let it cool down, and then dipped cotton wool in it for every nappy change for the first six weeks because only freshly sterilised, warm water would do for our baby’s arse.

I knew I was being PFB about this and that it couldn’t be true, but I felt felt very sorry for all the other mums in my NCT group because my baby was magical and even though I knew they loved their babies very much, I thought they probably looked at my DD and secretly wished they had her instead 😂

Thankfully I never told anyone they were bright just thought it although when ds was about 9 months the GP opened a picture book in a really patronising way and said "what's the animal". DS obliged and said quite perfectly hippopotamus. I shall never forget the look on her face.

Amazing ... that's reminded me that my 3yo started telling the HV about concentric circles! And my mum about prosthetic legs (there's an episode of Do You Know about that one).

I was so upset the first time I took pfb out for her first walk around the village when she was a few weeks old as I had to push the pram across about 20 feet of slightly uneven path and I was terrified the shaking pram would damage her.

I also couldn't let a muslin cloth touch anything else before touching her, so if it was put down on the sofa it couldn't be used again until it was washed...we went through a lot!

DD was born with a heart condition and at one of her check ups at about 4 months old I had just finished some rubbish parenting book and I always asked DD's permission to take off her nappy, this time I did it in front of the consultant and as I asked DD I had a realisation of how insane I had become. He thought I was bonkers. I die inside every time I remember this PFB fail.

@lilmishap

RAN my DD to the gp convinced she was blind because she didn't look at me. The receptionist gently pointed out that she was now looking at me and had looked at her several times as well. The gp was less gentle and smirked that it's normal to fret over 'every silly little thing as a new mum'

I am creased up and crying at this! I literally can't stop laughing, hahah! Bless you, it must have been really scary to think she was blind but I can't stop laughing at the image of the scenes in the surgery I have in my head! Husband now thinks I'm a lunatic because I'm laughing too much to breathe properly! Bless you!

This is a lovely thread. I had the beautiful baby fixation - when we were still in the hospital I was really embarrassed that DD1 was so much more beautiful than all the other babies. It was so obvious that I was actually mortified. I felt bad for the other mums.

Looking back, she just looked like a baby.

My mum kindly took 6-week old dd early one morning so I could go back to bed for a bit.
When I woke up (just an hour later) I got cross as Dd had fallen back asleep, and I told my mum off for not ‘stimulating’ her enough, demonstrating how she liked being entertained by my fingers wiggling around or shiny objects.
My mum rolled her eyes at me. She didn’t offer herself for the early morning shift again, surprisingly!!!

Just remembered visiting a friend in hospital after the birth of her third baby. She nodded towards a bed opposite and told me to watch the young couple, the new mother was encouraging her husband to hold their new baby but he was very reluctant. Eventually she managed to persuade him and he sat there not moving a muscle with this tiny bundle in his arms. My friend whispered You wouldn't believe he's in bomb disposal, would you!

I started reading this thread and thought I honestly can't think of a single PFB moment. I'm pretty chilled and trips to a&e have always been instigated by my hypochondriac husband. I was feeling pretty smug until I got to firsttimemamma comment and remembered the BF log 🙈 I logged weeks and weeks of feeds. Every. Single. Feed. Which side, start and finish time, I even put down if I had to wear a nipple shield! I did eventually stop, but instead I wore a hair tie on my wrist so I knew which side she last fed on. 😆

Dh loaded some photos he had taken on the computer and asked me to select the best ones of ds. I cried because I couldn’t bear to delete any pictures, however bad, because they were precious moments of his life.

I’m having to laugh at all of these but in complete state of I’m glad I’m not the only one…

First baby, spine to spine labour, head on the large side and a realisation by the doctors when she was too far south to consider alternatives, bring in the extra drugs as this is just about to get messy and painful. Out pops beautiful baby, straight into full scream and there I say can someone shut that baby up 🤭🤦‍♀️ Then pass out. Had no idea it was my baby. Still have no memory after the introduction to pain relief, hubby still laughs at me now as it’s totally out of character.

Oh god so many of these

One that makes me think WTF is that I’d read on here that you shouldn’t use glass frames in the baby’s room, so in order to test what was glass I laid each picture out on a towel and then bashed it progressively harder to check

I have no idea why I didn’t just undo the frame and check from the actual bit of plastic / glass

I insisted that my PFB was strapped into his car seat to be taken up and down stairs. Yes I actually did this and forced my husband to do this too. In case someone dropped him on the stairs. I’m actually in tears of laughter just remembering how batshit I was.

@MamaRaisingBoys

I still cringe whenever my family brings this up (frequently)

When PFB was 6 months old he toppled backwards from sitting and hit his head on the caravan floor. I got down on the floor and hit my own head trying to replicate the sound so I could guess how hard he might have hit it and decide if I needed to take him somewhere to get checked out 🥴 I don’t know what I was thinking! 😂

I am screaming with laughter at my desk! This is the best thread EVER!

Rang my mum hysterically crying as my son was straining for a poo. Couldn’t bare the thought of him being in any discomfort 🤣
Also kept the umbilical cord stump and clip, I genuinely thought most people would. My friends were horrified 🙈

@Tiredtiredtired100

I think I was the opposite of a PFB in general. I remember thinking my baby was, well not ugly but all babies look funny. So basically I thought people just said he was gorgeous because that’s what you say. The thing is, he does look like a bloody child model and in retrospect I now realise he was very beautiful for a baby. I know I now sound PFB about him, but: a) I don’t think looks are the most important thing in life. b) didn’t think it when he was a baby and everyone else did. C) am still sure there are loads of people more attractive than my DS, I just recognise now that he is very conventionally beautiful.

Sounds a bit like me, when my were born, 1970s, you were in hospital for about a week, military hospital, babies were kept in the nursery during the night, I assume someone fed them etc. In the morning I used to have to check the labels to find mine, couldn't recognise her, they all looked alike!

@Oochiewalla

You’re not the only one! Our pfb had abdominal surgery and for some reason they presented us with his umbilical stump in a medical sample jar. It’s still in the freezer over 13 years later . . . . . .

I’ve also got a great collection of all his teeth - except the one that dropped out at mother in laws. She just put it in the bin!!!

First night back from hospital pfb was slightly sick after a feed and dh wanted to put her in the recovery position 😁

Have pissed myself over these and it has taken me back!
My pfb is now 30. I took him to a GP because his EARS were sticking out!! The GP very kindly said 'he will grow into them'. He did!

Yep
I’m sure the staff were all rolling their eyes

Firstly
What is a PFB ?