What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

When my eldest was 1 and a half, she jumped off my dhs knee, cried then was walking really weird with one foot pointing outwards. Cue a panicky, tearful trip up to A&E with me crying every two seconds (dd was fine) , get there and her to walk completely normal, laughing and happy. How embarrassing felt I was too quick at reacting, was heavily pregnant at the time (that's my excuse)

I dont think I was too bad pfb wise, but I do remember being convinced she was very bright and I have a fb memory pop up every year saying something like "for a child who is supposed to be so bright, mini pterodactyl really is doing something silly right now"
Urgh. Cringe. Every time it pops up I can't believe I wrote that

When DD was 4 weeks old, I insisted on an immediate referral to the paediatric department while at the prolonged jaundice clinic as a mark had appeared on her head which I hadn’t noticed before. Turned out to be a bit of pain au chocolat that I’d dropped on her head while eating it over her during a feed.

I also read that baby bottles can release microplastics so I sent her to nursery each day, for 8 weeks, with two bottles which I’d sterilised then rinsed out 3 times with cooled boiled water each morning, despite the fact she refused to take one even once during the entire time.

@solittletime

My mum kindly took 6-week old dd early one morning so I could go back to bed for a bit. When I woke up (just an hour later) I got cross as Dd had fallen back asleep, and I told my mum off for not ‘stimulating’ her enough, demonstrating how she liked being entertained by my fingers wiggling around or shiny objects. My mum rolled her eyes at me. She didn’t offer herself for the early morning shift again, surprisingly!!!

This has reminded me of a moment of mine. My mum took DD one morning when she was about 3 weeks so I could sleep for a little. DD was born small and I had been told to feed her every 3 hours. I woke up, looked at the clock, misread it and thought I'd been asleep for 4 hours, ran downstairs completely panicking (and, iirc, mostly naked).

It had been one hour.

My first grandchild was left with us, for the first time, for about 3 hours. We took him to see the ducks. He was enchanted by the flying seagulls, so we walked home 20mins later than planned. I got a furious phone call from my son, where were we, why wasn't he at home being fed? It was maybe a year before we were allowed to have him again.

Mine seemed PFB 11 years ago and my family all laughed although most did agree but now…

If you’re a smoker, change top layer clothing and wash hands with soap and water before holding baby and please don’t smoke beforehand. I think this is now standard advice? Or am I just over the top?!

Also - please everyone sanitise hands before holding new baby. (As a newborn and for first few months). Maybe I was being precious but doesn’t feel like it now!

These are absolutely brilliant, just what I needed today, thanks 😊

nannykatherine - precious first born 🤣

Ds1's first Christmas, (11 months old) and DH took all of the snaps out of the crackers and told his parents, sister and grandmas that they musn't make any silly noise when they got their hats and jokes etc out of the crackers because DS was frightened by loud noises.

They looked amused but went along with it. I was fully supportive of DH and explained our reasoning very seriously. They remind us every Christmas by one of them asking (whosever house we are at) if the crackers have snaps this year. DS is 7 on his birthday.

@desperatehousewife2

When mine was about 18 months old we were at.a playground, thankfully not local. She was toddling around the place and went to where I considered too close to another child on a swing. My DH later told me she was nowhere near getting kicked. Anyway, I suddenly lunged like a goalie saving a penalty to push her to safety. I actually cringe when I think of this and how the mother of the other child looked at me in shock when all of a sudden this mother dives horizontally to push over her own child, DH was looking at me like Jesus. With our second, unless she's actually licking rat poison or something I'm a lot more chilled.

I'm literally like this 😂.

“I was determined to establish breastfeeding and read somewhere that it's a good idea to log feeds. I took this to the extreme and for about 6 weeks I kept a note of literally every single feed (EBF) he had - even if he was cluster feeding and having 20 feeds a day. Every feed was logged down to the exact minute e.g left boob 3:19-3:37pm. The breastfeeding counsellor at my local support group thought I was mental and told me I didn't need to do it but I didn't listen. I think around the 6-8 week mark it gradually stopped.”

Erm @firstimemamma I logged every single feed and which boob it was for 16 months until she was fully weaned…..I thought everyone did this?!

Amazing thread. Makes me feel so much better about my embarrassing moments.

When my son was 3 he had to have an operation. I insisted to the consultant that my son could speak French. He didn't ask. I don't know why I said it. He'd learned a couple of lines of Frere Jaques at nursery, the consultant was talking to make small talk with DS to make him feel more comfortable and I just blurted it out. It's 10 years on and I cringe every time I think about it.

With DS1 I wouldn't let anyone put anything noisy like TV or radio on and god help you if you made noise, or coughed 🤣

I used to go round telling people how smart hw was and tried to teach him German with flash cards, when he was 1. I don't even fecking speak German!!

I was much more relaxed with DD, though I took her out once for a walk with a neighbour who had a baby at the same time. Mine did a poo and I'd no bag or nappies with me. When my neighbour asked, I said because she doesn't poop outside, only at home. She was 2 months old.

I also left her withy sister once, this time with a full bag. I showed my sister how to pour calpol from the bottle in case it was needed. My sister is a paediatric nurse with 6 kids of her own 🤣

I used to get very riled up by an old friend who had a kid at the same time as I had DS. She used to post about her DD being so advanced because she was a breast fed vegetarian baby, and it should be mandatory to raise all kids in the same way. I saw a post recently of her with her second kid who was in hospital for putting aquabeads in her ears and nose. I bet she us cringing at her old posts. 😆

My friend had a baby a few weeks before I had my first. We were hanging out with our babies and she was speaking to her daughter, telling her she was the best baby in the world. I felt a physical rage come over me, clearly her baby wasn’t the best baby in the world! Thankfully I managed to contain myself and didn’t say anything.

Oh god @bookh comment has just reminded me...I slept on the sofa for the first 3 months because I was too scared to carry ds up the stairs incase I tripped and hurt him I've never once dropped anything or tripped enough to warrant dropping anything before but he was too perfect to risk it. Same with going down the garden path when it was cold (not even negative temperature), I'd pour a load of salt down the path at anything below 5 degrees just to be safe

@PainAuChocowhat

When DD was 4 weeks old, I insisted on an immediate referral to the paediatric department while at the prolonged jaundice clinic as a mark had appeared on her head which I hadn’t noticed before. Turned out to be a bit of pain au chocolat that I’d dropped on her head while eating it over her during a feed.

I also read that baby bottles can release microplastics so I sent her to nursery each day, for 8 weeks, with two bottles which I’d sterilised then rinsed out 3 times with cooled boiled water each morning, despite the fact she refused to take one even once during the entire time.

Baby bottles CAN leak bad chemicals...BPA and so on. When I heard this, both of mine went onto glass bottles which I went through like bloody sweeties as I kept dropping them in my tired state!

I bought a book on helping your child to talk and expand vocabulary I wrote out lesson plans from the book and carried them out conscientiously

@Tiredtiredtired100

I was the same. I hid my baby under blankets because I thought there was something wrong with her. People would say oh she's so beautiful and I would look at them wondering why they felt the need to lie. Once I was holding her on my shoulder in a shop and the lady behind me started crying, she said she'd never seen such a beautiful baby. Another time I was followed into a shop by another young mother and the grandmother who wanted a closer look at my baby, they said they were envious because she was so adorable. The other mother had a little boy. Which is really sad when I think about it now.

In time I was diagnosed with PTSD from the birth which explains why I was so numb. I will always be grateful to those lovely strangers who were so kind about my little baby, I really needed the encouragement.

@ItWasTheBestOfTimes

With DD1 at 7mo I remember loudly shouting 'you're going to choke my baby' at my DM as she tried to pass her some broccoli from her Sunday lunch. We were eating out at the time DD1 was still on purred or mashed food at that age, DD2 was blw from 6 months. Although not my PFB with DD2 I remember crying hysterically on the floor after noticing part of her iris on one eye getting darker, Googling it and convincing myself she had ocular cancer. Quick trip to the GP, his diagnosis was eye changing colour

If it makes you feel any better, I had eye cancer as a 2 year old - you did the right thing going to the GP to get it checked out. It's incredibly rare but does happen. Usually white spot in the pupil, though, not iris changing colour.

Best.Mumsnet.Thread.Ever.

I can't remember anything really funny, but I'm sure I did things as crazy and terrible as these. I love this.

@Stickyjamhands

I have also rubbed baby shampoo in my eyes (dilute). It stung. A lot. I also licked some (to check my pfb would not drink it). It did not taste good

Johnson's baby shampoo stings like a bitch if it goes in your eyes!! Not that I actually rubbed it in on purpose to check I got it in whilst shampooing my hair with it. Ok I might have sort of purposely left my eyes open like the Baby on the advert does so the shampoo runs into their eyes, yet doesn't bat an eyelid. I nearly shot out of the bath

@3peassuit

I thought my PFB was the most gorgeous baby ever to grace the earth. It was a struggle to resist the urge to hold her aloft in Hammersmith Broadway for all of West London to admire. I genuinely felt sorry for the parents of ordinary babies. After a few months I got a grip.

This made me feel all warm and fuzzy!

I think mums have probably always been like this. When my PFB was about two and a half, I started teaching her to read with the Glen Dolman system, which used big flashcards. As she read them, she used to line them up on the floor. We had friends round to dinner and I made them watch and admire as I sat on the floor and held up cards for my genius to read and line up across the carpet. The genius is 43 now and I still cringe when I remember it.

We also had professional photos taken of PFB. Didn't bother for second baby, who has never let us forget it.

A relative's (who is lovely and usually very practical) baby had her first birthday during lockdown.

We were invited to a mid-afternoon Zoom party and the plan was that we'd all make our own party tea and eat it together. Lovely plan. Until we got the recipe for the sugar-free, wholemeal flour birthday cake we were all supposed to bake so we could "Share Baby's first experience of birthday cake."

@ForkedIt

I had a panic attack on the phone to 999 when I phoned them after my one year old got her finger trapped in a door. I’m usually quite pragmatic about these things but I was full on ‘my babyyyyy!!’ - they advised me (or rather DH who had to take the phone) to go to A&E. On the way I decided her finger actually looked totally normal and I had to make an embarrassing call to A&E to advise that we wouldn’t, in fact, be attending. (I did take her to the GP who said it was fine.)

I’d packed us both an overnight bag and everything like she was going in for an amputation

@ForkedIt

Reminds me of when I was very little, about 3 - My mum put me to bed for a nap, but I was stood up on the bed playing with the curtains. It was an old-fashioned metal curtain rod, too, in the shape of a “C” and my index finger got caught in the open part.
I had to carry that whole section of curtains, rod & all, into the other room to face my mother’s wrath.
In turn, my parents had to take me and my curtains to get 3 stitches in my tiny finger. On a Sunday afternoon.
I still have the scar.
You were overly concerned - my mum was overly furious!!! 😂😂😂