Just checking what I can actually do in my garden

[Originalyellowbelly]

Obviously not BBQ, fire pit, children, tree houses, pools, climbing frames, footballs, bonfires, low fences, music, parties,DIY , lawn mowing, extensions, cats, dogs, have I missed anything? Wouldn't want to piss off anyone within 50 miles of me.

@Ginjanotaninja

Can someone remind me on the rules for conservatory and garden room use?

YOU HAVE A CONSERVATORY?

(faints in disgust)

Don't get pissed and dance naked in the rain (when you are 52 and DH is 60)

Dammit! NOW you tell me!

We have a hot tub , bar , children's slide , sandpit, music and we talk and everything
Fuck em all its our garden, next door got a trampoline and we occasionally see the kids heads bobbing over ours when she Jumps high , until we can afford to move near to abdoloutkey nobody these are the things you have to deal with just get on with it and enjoy your life

You must remove all trees that threaten to cast a shadow over your neighbours garden
You must not remove any trees even if they are causing subsidence or about to topple onto your house if your neighbour enjoys looking at them.
You must give formal notice 6 weeks in advance by letter, email, text and “popping” round if you are using and form of mechanical equipment.
You have a 3 minute window between 11.07-11.10 to make noise (yes tinkly laughs count) outside of those hours you must be totally silent as number 11 is having a well deserved lie in, number 10 is working from home and has a very very important call with the ruler of the world, number 12 has a headache and number 14’s baby is due a nap.

You mustn't use your phone in your garden. This can also be very upsetting apparently. Also please ensure before you use your garden that no one within a 50 mile radius is working from home because those wfh are now entitled by law to work in complete silence.

You must not parent in a happy voice as if you were pleased with your kids.

If you just have 1 (pfb) never ever mention its name aloud.

@Cattitudes

Puddles, don't make puddles.

😂😂😂 loved that thread

Apologies if this has already been said, but don’t let your kids take a wee in the garden 😃

These are brill. Next time (which won't be long) someone says MN isn't any fun these days and everyone is nasty and it's not like the old days, I'll post a link to this.

Hey hold on what's all this about not been allowed to water my fence >>>> tries to hide hosepipe behind back

Yeah, sorry. Conservatory and garden room aka shed on steroids owner. Its a bit of a pearl clutcher isn't it?

@Ginjanotaninja

Can someone remind me on the rules for conservatory and garden room use?

I don't know, but I'm sure they're terribly chavvy and common and offend all the duchesses and aristocrats on here.

Someone has made a thread just there complaining that her neighbour was mowing the grass at 9.45 . I think they're actually serious

My bloody neighbours have got firepit, seating and outdoor TV. DH has had his head turned, now planning sunken seating and projector. Help.

@DynamoKev and post a link to this thread too ,
MN at its best www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/4204886-AIBU-to-let-my-children-chalk-on-the-road-Neighbour-washed-it-all-away?pg=1

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Don't let your children outside while simultaneously making sure they play in the garden everyday. Same with dogs.

(I have actually seen posts about neighbours children never using gardens...)

DD was strange when she was little. The park was for running about in, the garden was for pottering in, even though we had a big garden then.

Can someone remind me on the rules for conservatory and garden room use?

I don't know, but I'm sure they're terribly chavvy and common and offend all the duchesses and aristocrats on here.

Aristocrats think they're fine as long as you call them a sun room and and summer house.

No sunbathing naked either 😂😂

@FadedRed

Has nobody mentioned the absolute no-no that are Gnomes? Especially the ‘bare-arsed’/bought in Asda/comic variety. I imagine that one or two genuine antique ‘Black Forest’ hand-carved, authentic, made in Switzerland might just be acceptable IF they were inherited family heirlooms with sentimental associations. Just ensure they are displayed discretely.

How about these, @FadedRed? Not hand carved Swiss, more 1930's concrete, but they were inherited family heirlooms, the only remnants of DH's grandfather's partnership in a pre-war garden business. 😁

@LittleRa

Don’t throw snails over the fence

I have never done this.

not in daylight anyway

anyone has an experience about boys personality at King's college school Wimbledon ? Are they under too much pressure ? Does the school focus on their personality as well or more on education ?
Thanks

I once read a post on here where someone was complaining that their neighbours didn't have a whirly. So they were slagging them off for not hanging their washing out.

Don't place your parrot in its cage in the garden for some fresh air and a change of scenery if it squawks at 80 decibels and says rude words.

Climbing trees was one. FFS.

This thread is brilliant.MNhas made me paranoid, every time I set foot in my garden, I worry that I'm upsetting someone.

Has anyone mentioned wind chimes? You mustn't have them.

And no talking droning on and on, giving a running commentary of what you're doing. Or phone calls.