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What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

880 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 10:59

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

OP posts:
CharityDingle · 29/04/2021 14:20

@deeplyambivalent

Definitely public proposals. My exDP went down on one knee in an expensive restaurant. It became clear later that if I'd said no he would have considered the relationship over. I think he felt as if he was springing a wonderful surprise on me. I just felt like I had a gun to my head. (He retracted the offer when I raised the question of a prenup the next morning).
I always wonder a bit at public proposals. I remember one where a man proposed as the woman just finished a marathon. It featured on the news. It just seemed to me that he was making the moment about him, when it should have been her big moment after all her training and preparation for running the marathon.

There was one also on some of the reality talent shows. Live on stage... What if the person said no!

btwwhichonespink · 29/04/2021 14:20

I agree with all of these.

I'll add - gazing lovingly into my eyes.

Makes me feel desperately uncomfortable. I think the guitar concert for one is the same sort of discomfort, but extended for even longer haha.

Also 'snuggling up on the sofa'.

PussGirl · 29/04/2021 14:21

Any sort of gushy social media pronouncements make my toes curl

Throughout 2019 a woman I know was all "can't believe it's just 100 / 50 / 25 / 10 / 3 / 1 days (delete as appropriate) till I'll be Mrs Joe Bloggs

So happy - he's my world, my angel, my cuddly-wumkin kind of stuff

Then an absolutely cringe-making video of their wedding dance which was a choreographed salsa / ballroom thing - they were really good but it went on for a good 20 minutes

Then monthly updates - can't believe I've been Mrs Bloggs for one / two / three / etc months (delete as appropriate)

He's my wuddly-bumpkin precious angel

Then their first anniversary with the video posted again

Just vomtastic

ladygindiva · 29/04/2021 14:21

Handholding. I went on a date with a really good looking, clever, funny pleasant guy, so many boxes ticked, so much potential but he held my hand literally the whole time. Even whilst driving. And eating the meal... I kid you not. I cringed myself inside out and never saw him again.

BrownEyedGirl80 · 29/04/2021 14:21

Cuddling in bed.Fuck off to your own side.

minou123 · 29/04/2021 14:23

There was one also on some of the reality talent shows. Live on stage... What if the person said no!

One of my guilty pleasures is watching you tube videos of proposals gone wrong.
Cruel - yes. Entertaining - hell yes,!

isthismylifenow · 29/04/2021 14:24

@ladygindiva

Handholding. I went on a date with a really good looking, clever, funny pleasant guy, so many boxes ticked, so much potential but he held my hand literally the whole time. Even whilst driving. And eating the meal... I kid you not. I cringed myself inside out and never saw him again.
Lawd yes, the I have to put my hand on your leg whilst I drive.... or vice versa if I was driving, his hand on my leg. WHY?
ladygindiva · 29/04/2021 14:25

@minou123

There was one also on some of the reality talent shows. Live on stage... What if the person said no!

One of my guilty pleasures is watching you tube videos of proposals gone wrong.
Cruel - yes. Entertaining - hell yes,!

I witnessed one of these in real life. At a wedding. Family member took the mic at the reception and did a very slushy public proposal to his partner. At the time she was sat with me and had spent the last twenty minutes telling me how much he pissed her off and she thought she ought to end it. She did a tearful runner. It was mortifying.
Macncheeseballs · 29/04/2021 14:26

Twin sinks, when I'm in the bathroom I want to be alone

Aprilinspringtimeshower · 29/04/2021 14:28

@RampantIvy

Paris
🤣🤣🤣 By stbexh said he would take me to Paris. That was 30 years ago. Never did. I’d been to Paris twice before meeting him anyway. And I went twice more without him when I was married ( not through choice) . I would never choose to go there now
BrownEyedGirl80 · 29/04/2021 14:31

@lachy Grin I live in Doncaster and I totally get it. definitely not a romantic getaway place.A night out and a kebab,sure or a trip to the races.God knows what he was thinking!

PerspicaciousGreen · 29/04/2021 14:31

Oh, I love cuddling on the sofa! DH doesn't as his arm goes to sleep, though...

One of my favourite things is when DH mentions seeing something like a fancy piece of jewellery that made him think of me and how lovely I'd look on it, then confirms that he didn't buy it for me because he knew I wouldn't want it but wanted to let me know he was thinking of me. Best of both worlds Grin

ChiefBabySniffer · 29/04/2021 14:32

@AnyFucker

I can't stand feather strokers. Just NO!

BrightYellowDaffodil · 29/04/2021 14:32

They just had to lie in a semi-dark room in dressing gowns while some local loon dinged bowls to make sounds.

See, I love a sound/gong bath, I really do but it's not a romantic thing. Especially not when I fall asleep and wake myself up by snoring Grin

He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh

Ugh indeed. Had he watched The Railway Children too many times?

The restaurants with 'musicians' coming to the table.

Oh God yes. I mean, where do you look and how soon can you say "That's lovely, now would you mind fucking off because we were in the middle of a conversation"?

They had this idea that birth was going to be a fluttery romantic picnic. She had written a poem citing her wishes and he had packed his flute

I can only imagine where I'd have wanted to shove a flute if one was played at me while I was trying to squeeze a whole fucking human out of my Flannery Anne.

I also entirely agree with holding hands. It's uncomfortable, particularly if one is taller than the other (I mean, does the taller one crouch down or do I have to hold up my arm like a toddler?) and it's impractical. Gerroff me!

And anything whatsover to do with Valentine's Day. I'd rather gnaw off my own feet than go to a restaurant to Be Romantic and give over already on the "romantic" gifts. An ex once proudly presented me with a classic film on DVD but the label showed it came from B&Q where he'd gone that morning to collect some nails. Always nice to feel that someone's made an effort Hmm

minou123 · 29/04/2021 14:33

minou123
One of my guilty pleasures is watching you tube videos of proposals gone wrong.
Cruel - yes. Entertaining - hell yes,!

ladygindiva
I witnessed one of these in real life. At a wedding. Family member took the mic at the reception and did a very slushy public proposal to his partner. At the time she was sat with me and had spent the last twenty minutes telling me how much he pissed her off and she thought she ought to end it. She did a tearful runner. It was mortifying.

Noooooo! That must have been awful.

But I secretly want to see one in real life Blush

DarlingWithoutYou · 29/04/2021 14:33

@lubeybooby

the song 'don't wanna close my eyes' the aerosmith one

UGH

What an absolute simp. Just go to fucking sleep and stop being weird

Grin
Candycane57 · 29/04/2021 14:33

PDA that isn't just holding hands, hugging or kissing. Full on makeouts in the middle of town or feeling each other up is weird- if you want to do that sort of thing publicly I can recommend a quiet carpark.

Social Media proclamations of love too- Whole gushy paragraphs they post online instead of just sending to each other. I understand sharing a photo on an anniversary, or a simple caption, but when it's directed at their SO but displayed to all of us it makes me want to perish.

Holding hands or hand on the leg I like, but not when I'm clearly busy, need 2 hands and don't want to get clammy Envy (not envy)

MedusasBadHairDay · 29/04/2021 14:33

@Macncheeseballs

Twin sinks, when I'm in the bathroom I want to be alone
I saw a programme the other week where a couple had twin sinks and were stood together brushing their teeth and chatting to each other in the mirror in what I presume was meant to be an intimate little scene.

All I could think is that I would not want a partner watching me brush my teeth, nor would I want to watch them. It's hardly attractive.

Aprilinspringtimeshower · 29/04/2021 14:36

@Totalbeach

Oh I had an ex who sang for me a lot. And then my bloody Christmas present was a CD of him blooding well singing.
🤣🤣
Aprilinspringtimeshower · 29/04/2021 14:38

@cobblers123

Eating off each others fork especially when in public. Had couple of friends who used to do this, it was mortifying. Hmm
😳😳 we used to do this...but not romantic...foodies that wanted to try what other person had ordered.
iwantadogdhdoesnt · 29/04/2021 14:38

@suggestionsplease1 The image of The Claw descending made me snort with laughter, brilliant

poppycat10 · 29/04/2021 14:40

Valentine's Day is just one big con.

I don't like getting flowers but because I just think it's a waste of money. They die, and I am no good at arranging them. And don't send them to new mums, they don't need another job to do when they're keeping a new human alive.

It is a very long time since I shared a bath but it was ok. DH got the tap end so I was ok Grin. If you have a bath with the tap in the middle it's ideal. Sharing a shower is ok if it is a walk-in one in a hotel which is as big as my actual bathroom at home.

DH did send me flowers at work once, which I then had to carry home on the train. But he's not made a habit of it.

FleurFlowers · 29/04/2021 14:40

Re twin sinks, we have them and they are very timesaving! Also means I can clog my own sink top with my stuff and DH's stuff stays on his. Also less jostling between the DCs for sink space when in a rush in the mornings.

But romantic, they are not! Any chat between me & DH is more like "Bin day today - have you put them out - I'm going to the vets later with the cat - can you take the spaghetti Bol out of the freezer when you go downstairs", that sort of thing Grin

BrightYellowDaffodil · 29/04/2021 14:42

PDA that isn't just holding hands, hugging or kissing. Full on makeouts in the middle of town or feeling each other up is weird

On my walk through the park yesterday I passed a couple sitting on a bench. She was talking and mid-sentence he started kissing her in a very ostentatious "Look at me, I'm SO ROMANTIC" way. I wanted to poke him in the eye on her behalf.

RestlessMillennial · 29/04/2021 14:42

@longtompot Cross between Van Halen and Bill Haley and the Comets! Xd Grin

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