They just had to lie in a semi-dark room in dressing gowns while some local loon dinged bowls to make sounds.
See, I love a sound/gong bath, I really do but it's not a romantic thing. Especially not when I fall asleep and wake myself up by snoring 
He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh
Ugh indeed. Had he watched The Railway Children too many times?
The restaurants with 'musicians' coming to the table.
Oh God yes. I mean, where do you look and how soon can you say "That's lovely, now would you mind fucking off because we were in the middle of a conversation"?
They had this idea that birth was going to be a fluttery romantic picnic. She had written a poem citing her wishes and he had packed his flute
I can only imagine where I'd have wanted to shove a flute if one was played at me while I was trying to squeeze a whole fucking human out of my Flannery Anne.
I also entirely agree with holding hands. It's uncomfortable, particularly if one is taller than the other (I mean, does the taller one crouch down or do I have to hold up my arm like a toddler?) and it's impractical. Gerroff me!
And anything whatsover to do with Valentine's Day. I'd rather gnaw off my own feet than go to a restaurant to Be Romantic and give over already on the "romantic" gifts. An ex once proudly presented me with a classic film on DVD but the label showed it came from B&Q where he'd gone that morning to collect some nails. Always nice to feel that someone's made an effort 