to think it's really cheeky to invite someone to a BBQ then expect them to bring...

[dotdashdashdash]

...The BBQ!?

We were invited last week to a friends today for a BBQ. They called this morning asking to borrow our BBQ, we assumed there's had broken or the one they ordered hadn't arrived etc - but no. They don't have one. So we suggested they come to ours and bring some of the stuff they'd bought as our BBQ is very heavy and large (won't fit in the car without removing the child seats and lying all seats flat) but it turns out, that not only did they want us to bring our BBQ, they wanted us to leave it at theirs as they are having other friends this evening.

Was IBU to say no? That I didn't want to take our large BBQ and gas bottle to their house and leave it with them?

You sound really nice OP :) and almost a unanimous YANBU! Their loss :)

Haha glad you said no, it's reasonable to ask people to bring food etc but not the actual bloody bbq

I guess it depends on the friendship you have. Some people genuinely wouldn't mind and after a few beers you would all sit around and laugh at what useless hosts they were. I think my friends and I have this sort of relationship. But there wouldn't be any deliberate cheekiness, it would be more like "everyone come to mind for a bbq" then "oh fuck, I don't have a bbq - can I borrow yours" and would all be genuine and pretty amusing. But I guess if you aren't close or you dont have such a relaxed friendship then I could see that you might read more into it and view them as CFs. Or maybe they are CFs in which case they probably have form for this sort if thing?

SuperCaliFragalistic

We have lots of friends like you describe, BUT they'd have taken the offer of the charcoal BBQ. These ones have been our closest friends for a very long time, even lived together previously, but since we've had kids we have definitely drifted apart (partly me deliberately doing so due to female friends behaviour) and now we've just entered CF territory, thought she was always a bit CF, I was just never on the receiving end.

I do feel this has stirred up old feelings re the friendship though.

Lol DH and were invited to a barbecue years ago by BiL and ex wife. Turns out we had to bring the barbecue, food and beer/wine I never did go back for another!
YANBU

This has to be one of the best CF threads we've had

Glad you said no.

It’s all in the delivery of the question isn’t it and how close the people are to you. My grown up kids have asked to borrow our barbecue in the past even when it’s for entertaining their friends and we haven’t been invited, no problem happy to lend but it’s a charcoal one and we get it back cleaned and we drop off and pick up when convenient for us. We have lent our folding garden furniture to friends hosting their family, again we are happy to help, friends collect and return furniture when it suited us with wine to say thanks. Last minute unreasonable request YANBU.

Crikey I though u meant a charcoal one as we have swapped them about amongst friends before but a big gas one - they are taking the mick.

Yes, of course, in the example I gave they would have taken the offer of the charcoal one. Sounds like they are just CFs.

WOW. I'd love to know what planet these kind of people come from. I mean, exactly how have they been raised that makes them think this kind of thing is normal?!

Only gas good enough really raises the level of crazy.

BBQs are too big to fit in most cars unless you remove the legs.
Then they drop manky burnt bits everywhere.
There's no way I would take mine round to a friend's unless they lived 3 doors down and I could wheel it there.

@8dpwoah

Crikey I thought you were going to say they asked you to bring the burgers or something!

At a push, if they'd realised they'd ran out of gas and knew you had some, I'd have probably gone with that assuming they are the sort to replace it. But not the whole bloody BBQ! Lesson learned there!

" @8dpwoah Crikey I thought you were going to say they asked you to bring the burgers or something! "

Me too

Yes, they are CF's

You've been invited to a bbq by somebody that doesn't have a bbq

@dotdashdashdash

Especially as the charcoal one was offered and would go with us and kids no hassle.

They were silly to turn that down, you can usually get charcoal at a petrol station shop.

It doesn't seem like barbecue weather to me though.

I'm so glad you said, "no" - proper CFs!!

You've found out they're not real friends

So rude especially as it’s clear you were only invited to eat so they could keep the bbq. The attitude toward your inconvenience really tells you all you need to know about these people.

This is the funniest thing I have read in ages.

To be honest, depending on the friendship and the tone of the request I could see it being fine if they had gratefully accepted the charcoal barbecue and not expected to keep it for a second set of guests.

But to decline that for a different barbecue...!

I’ve never considered asking people round for a bbq, purely for the reason that I don’t own one!

If you don’t have a bbq, you cook food in the oven, not ask someone to bring an actual bbq and expect to keep it.

Having said that, someone of FB that I know (though haven’t seen for years) has been asking around if anyone fancies lending them a hot tub for “weekends over the summer” because their “family would love one but they’re so expensive” and “We would only need it on weekends because of work and school”. Not quite sure what they think everyone else does over the week....

A relative of DH’s who has form for being a cheeky fucker hosted a bbq at hers a couple of years ago except she asked everyone to bring food, crisps, salad, drinks, paper plates, plastic cutlery and desserts. Literally the only thing she provided was the actual bbq (though she did call DH as we were en route to ask him to stop and get coals).

I'd have been inclinrd to let them borrow it but then insisted that all cooking was finished by a certain time so it was cooled enough for you to take it straight home for your own evening guests

Having said that, someone of FB that I know (though haven’t seen for years) has been asking around if anyone fancies lending them a hot tub for “weekends over the summer” because their “family would love one but they’re so expensive” and “We would only need it on weekends because of work and school”. Not quite sure what they think everyone else does over the week....

Brilliant . I presume they want the owners to drop off and collect it as well!!

@Howshouldibehave

insist that only public transport must be used to attend

I have never had a host suggest this! Why would they? Why would anyone really care how you got to/from their house?

It sounds a bit batshit but I assume it's due to having limited parking at their house?

Being the twat I am I’d have probably induldged them but have some way of disabling the BBQ (disconnect the regulator or something and take it home) when I left 😆

Wow that’s beyond cheeky!! I thought our friends were cheeky when they invited everyone to a bbq and told us to bring what we wanted to eat and drink. Then they ate and drank what others brought. They provided ketchup, mayonnaise and bbq charcoal 😂