Whats the best quote you have heard from a parent in passing?

[Backtoreality1]

Had a lovely one yesterday....family were in their back garden but mum could be heard from the front in total exasperation saying ' xxxx, you are getting on my last nerve today'. Wasn't said with aggression just a clear voice with the tone of someone who was getting so tired. I wanted to go and give her a hug and I have never met her!

'Oh there's a timeout corner in Tescos alright - now get into it - you're in timeout''. said by me. Not my finest moment. While putting my 3 year old into a corner of Tesco inside the door. It was a battle of wills. She didn't think that I'd discipline her in public so used to run riot on me when out and about. She actually never misbehaved ever in public after that horrific 3 minutes. I don't think either of us wanted that experience again.

Same child, in a queue in Lidl when she was 3. I was trying to get her to behave (without much success). Elderly lady behind me says to dd 'if you're not good for your Mummy, I'll take you home with me' this is an old thing used by people to scare children into behaving. DD? Ok - and takes said woman by hand. Poor woman must have thought that I was abusing said child as she was so willing to just randomly go anywhere other than with her mother. God, the shame. Dd just always wanted to go anywhere, everywhere. The shame that your own child would happily go off with a stranger lol. Yup - I knew that I was a failure of a mother that day.

There were many, but the one which still creases me and you have to be Irish to get it by reading it, but I will provide a translation.

My DS then about 6 (answer for everything, more annoyingly a logical and intelligent answer for everything.)

Argue, argue....

I whirl around in the fruit and veg section of JS and hissed.....sotto voce

Na hAbhair focal eile ar bith (Don't say another word)

He knew roughly it meant zip it, did he zip it, did he heck as like.........

At the top of his voice in the middle of a Saturday afternoon comes the following............

We don't use the word Fuck now do we Mummy.....

How I didn't choke trying not to laugh I will never know.

@Childrenofthestones

One I remember from a brilliant book called "Eves Droppings " by Nigel Reese

"Well my mother lost hers on the lawn in front of the vicar"

But my personal one from my mother to a woman who had just let her cat jump off her lap as our dog walked up and sniffed her skirt where the cat had been
"Look she can smell your pussy"

You would have to know my mum to believe she didn't realise what she had said.. She was famous for putting her foot in it.🙂

My mother to someone who was really annoying her ,quietly and under her breath.......oh go and run up a down pipe.

Bearing in mind what a down pipe carries...

Also, take a long run off a short pier when the tide is out.

The best was from my own DD. My MIL was visiting and something had been said on the TV that gave her a fit of the vapours (to be fair, it didn't take much) and she was crossing herself and said, "Holy God, pierce me through." DD1, who was about four years old, didn't even look up from her toys when she said, "There's no God in this house, Granny, you need to go up the road if you want him to hear you." Myself and DH burst out laughing at MIL's thunderous expression. I did warn DH that DD1 was a bit young at the time for conversations on atheism.

MMfanalltheway I don't think you were a failure of a mother that day at all, I think your child was confident, curious and very secure!

A truism that has supported me through life and helped shape DS.

A lie needs two good legs to stand on.

@faerveren

On a park bench a child eating crisps. Mother - I gave you life and you won’t even give me a crisp

If you're in the NE, that could well have been me

This one could be repeated by my neighbours and I heard my favourite one laugh (I do know that she has her desk by the front window and the window was open ) exdh was dropping dc off after their visit (custody so perfectly allowed ) and ds2 Dvd player that he watches for half an hour had broken a few days before. So the darling little munchkin on climbing out of his car seat stood on the side so he could bellow into the street "mum guess what, Dad gave me a new DVD player because he says the other one is buggered ". Cue hearing laughter from next door, thank you Exdh !! Who to be fair did apologise profusely and admitted he had used the phrase a day earlier....in the next room

Ds2 again as we are walking home , and there is a lady behind us , Mum are you sure my birthday is {ds2 birthday}

Yes Love thats definitely your birthday

But how do you know?

Erm I am your mother love , I was there !

Short considered pause and a sigh

I'm not sure you are right mummy but I suppose ill have to go with it.

I can't blame the woman behind for not remotely hiding the sniggering as I put my head in my hands.

God almighty that child needs to go back to school....

Anyone who ever overheard my DF talking to me sister and I would have heard "go and play with tig with the West Crindledyke Bus" me and DSIS were so tickled by the term "Crindledyke" that it took us until we were actual adults to realise this was a place around the corner from my grandmother, and not a made up place!

@CosyAcorn

So glad this thread came up because I overheard this the other day when I took DD to the park and it keeps making me smile.

"Remember your social cues! "

Said by a dad to a very chatty lad of about 9 or 10 who had just found a man in the park who was training a pigeon to fly and was running up to him to ask questions about it.

The man with the bird seemed shy (but not annoyed at the interruption) but the boy was so excited that he just kept on asking questions and then the man offered to let the lad have a go at holding the bird, and then they worked together to teach it how to fly and land on one another's shoulders.

It was like watching a very low budget version of Up. And it made me smile that the boy didn't really pay any attention to social cues but made a friend anyway.

That is so cute! ❤️

My examples are probably not quite in keeping with others posted. But, reading these had me howling.

My daughter was autistic and at had no filter or volume button amongst others.

One day the neighbour over the road knocked on my door, stifling laughter and trying to look stern and cross whilst my daughter is following behind and looking really happy.

So I was told by DD that she had been playing knock a door run like her older siblings, on their group of friends doors. But my DD knocked on the door, then stood there waiting for it to open and very happily said ‘I’m doing knock a door run’
The neighbour said ‘ you forgot to run away though’ and was then told ‘no I can’t run away it’s rude and you will be scared’

So neighbour found amusing hence the pretend cross face.

My DD, then asks loudly if she is going to be grounded like her older sister gets. I said ‘if you want - you are now grounded’
She then flounces into the house in absolute hysterical crying threw herself on the floor ‘crying my social life is over’
Bearing in mind she learned to talk with echolia- so mimicked and remembered phrases and actions do well

After that she sat up and went - what’s grounded? Is it over now!
I asked why did she want it if she didn’t know what it was

She replied’her sister gets it all the time and she wanted it so she could match - but now what do I do mum!

Another time in the supermarket

She saw a couple giving each other a quick kiss on the lips ‘ she very dramatically- including loud noises - covers her eyes and shouts ‘awww mum tell them to stop making babies in the queue as they are kissing and it’s too rude’

😂

DD2 was crying in the car as the sun was getting in her eyes.

DD1 helpfully told her 'just cover your eyes, like this'....DD2 still crying it's too sunny, DD1 'why are you crying, let me check....those are your ears!'

I couldn't turn to look but they both cracked up, very cute

MMfanalltheway I don't think you were a failure of a mother that day at all, I think your child was confident, curious and very secure!

What a very sweet thing to say. She hasn't changed. Wants to travel the world.

Not me, but a story a comedian tells and one I relate to especially after this year is overhearing a conversation between a mother and her small child.

Child; mum, mum, mum, mummy, mum, muuuummm
Mother: I was so happy when you said that the first time.

Yes darling I definitely do have a favourite child. It's whichever one of you is currently annoying me the least

Lets play ‘Who can be quiet the longest’

Time and time again 😂

@foreverold fantastic 🤣🤣

My gran used to say to me often

“I love you, but I do not like you”

She used to say about me often

“Aw yes, she’s lovely - until she opens that bloody mouth”

Gran was very, children should be seen and not heard, my mum was more of an activist for children’s vocal rights 😁😁

As a rebellious teenager, I got my nose pierced a week before being a bridesmaid for my older sister. My DM (who is a lovely kind woman) said to me "It's not that I object to nose piercing in general, it just that you don't have the sort of nose one wants to draw attention to"

I suspect there was some really suppressed rage in there.

FWIW, I have a very normal nose

faerveren
On a park bench a child eating crisps.
Mother - I gave you life and you won’t even give me a crisp

@VikingLady
If you're in the NE, that could well have been me

I am

I have said 'Don't eat Harry Potter'.

(DS has pica).

I was struggling with my two squabbling dc when an old woman walked up to me and said “don’t worry love it does get better….when they move out!” She then proceeded to walk of laughing to herself.

Woman at the park to her son. “Stop picking your nose” child replies in a whiney voice “but I’m hungry!”

Dd had been doing rhyming words at nursery, middle of Tesco, she had no concept of an inside voice, ‘mummy, lick and dick rhyme’

She’s 24 now, we still remind her.

“High fashion man” has made me giggle for some reason @LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow

@Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady

Me when I was about 5: "Dad, what's for tea?"

Dad: "Shit wi sugar on"

In his defence he'd had a long day

If we asked what was for lunch my DM always replied " shit and sugar sandwiches"