Whats the best quote you have heard from a parent in passing?

[Backtoreality1]

Had a lovely one yesterday....family were in their back garden but mum could be heard from the front in total exasperation saying ' xxxx, you are getting on my last nerve today'. Wasn't said with aggression just a clear voice with the tone of someone who was getting so tired. I wanted to go and give her a hug and I have never met her!

5yr old DC: I leave the tap on will the sea run out?
and
DC: what happened to yesterday?
Me: well the painting and drawing you did yesterday is at school.
DC: No, yesterday, where did it go? What happened to it?

@Childrenofthestones

One I remember from a brilliant book called "Eves Droppings " by Nigel Reese

"Well my mother lost hers on the lawn in front of the vicar"

But my personal one from my mother to a woman who had just let her cat jump off her lap as our dog walked up and sniffed her skirt where the cat had been
"Look she can smell your pussy"

You would have to know my mum to believe she didn't realise what she had said.. She was famous for putting her foot in it.🙂

This is hilarious!!!!

I caused you two mammies to crease once. Was walking my bug obsessed 4 y.o to school along an enclosed narrow pathway that is on the route to 3 schools and always busy at school time.

She was as usual running ahead but stopped and was fiddling at the chain link fence. As I got closer I saw she was extracting daddy long legs from spider webs and sticking them in her pocket. Rather too shrilly I shout " darling darling, stop sticking daddy long legs in your pocket". Every parent on the path looked round to see her stop shoving them in her pocket but down her pinafore. The two mammies closest to her fell about.

"Everyone's fed, and no-ones's dead. Tick"

Hopefully just a saying and not the end of day checklist of a parent lacking in food safety skills.

A friend. Her ds asked repeatedly if he was her favourite. He has an older db.
Eventually she says. You're my favourite 7 year old.
He's delighted, older db laughs because he understands.

Me repeatedly to dd, about 5, when on buses and trains.
Please don't lick the windows.

@scaredsadandstuck

I know I've said "xxxxxx, please stop wrapping your penis around the pencil"

And did the policeman stop?

@Hippee

In the toilet cubicle next door:

Mum: Why are you wearing three pairs of pants?

Small boy: I like pants.

I have been that mum. Do you live in Surrey?

@imaluckdrago I've said that on a plane, had to make an emergency landing but knew we were all together . Not dramatic in any way just a fault that involved us having to go to an airport far from where we should have and switching planes

Overhead in Leeds Ikea cafe several years ago:
Mum (transatlantic accent): Don’t eat the cheese!!!! This is the UK, it has dairy in it.

I remember being in a cubicle in a mixed changing room at the swimming pool. The man in the next cubicle was helping his daughter get changed and naming parts of her body; I think it started with something like “Take your arms out of your top, oh what big arms you have, they’re almost as big as mine”, “Put your feet into your bathing suit, oh what big feet you have, they’re almost as big as mine”.

I went into the pool and they appeared hand-in-hand five minutes later at which point she proudly announced to the entire pool “My daddy’s got a big willy”

I once heard myself say to DD (who had a lot of food issues)
You can have the rest of the broccoli if you just eat 1 chicken nugget for me.

My older child needed an x-ray. He was being a "toe rag". My mother walked in to hear me saying,
"Xxxxx, if you don't behave, you can't have your x-ray"

overheard in the queue of M&S ladies toilets on a busy Saturday (pre-covid)......little girl in cubicle with her mum "Mummy, why don't you wear nice knickers, like ones with flowers on?"

When my DS was 2 we lived in a flat where there was a gap underneath the front door so we used a heavy curtain to stop the draught coming in. When my DH came home from work one day he forgot to close curtain so I said “close the curtain over the front door as there is an awful draught coming up the stairs “ a few minutes later I found my son pulling back the curtain and looking out through the gap at the bottom of door. I asked him what was he doing and he said “he was looking for the awful giraffe coming up the stairs!” 😂

@Mauhea

Once saw a small child flop on the pavement mid-tantrum and their dad muttered 'oh, mate... have some self respect'.

Great thread and for some reason this was the post that reduced to me laughing till I cried. Not quite sure how that touched such a nerve but it really did.

Me several times a day
‘Is that -insert current DCs favourite comedy show- quote really relevant to the situation or the conversation’

Dc ‘no but it’s still funny’

Teenagers are a pain

I just remembered one from a family member, went with her to get her little lads first ever uniform, he was bouncing off the walls with excitement, fitting done and he was still excited when we said it was home time. His little face fell and he said “but mummy we didn’t get my unicorn?”.

Saddest moment of realisation ever!

My Dad used to have loads
Take a long walk off a short pier
Go and play tag with the cars on the motorway
Shut the door - were you born in a barn
Turn the light off - do you think this is Blackpool illuminations
Leave me alone I'm having a wallet attack (anytime any of us wanted to buy anything at all).

@PPNC

I just remembered one from a family member, went with her to get her little lads first ever uniform, he was bouncing off the walls with excitement, fitting done and he was still excited when we said it was home time. His little face fell and he said “but mummy we didn’t get my unicorn?”.

Saddest moment of realisation ever!

I have had that exact conversation. DS was also very disapointed by the school failure to provide any beetles for his first 'insect' day...

Can't think of any I've heard, but I heard the muffled sniggers as I was begging to then toddler-aged DC1 "darling, please stop licking the floor".

About a year later, I was paying in a shop and had DC1 lightly pinned between my feet to stop him pulling things off the shelves (he'd been ignoring me all morning) when we had the following exchange:

DC1: "I don't like you, Mummy!"
Me: "If I'm being honest, I'm not massively fond of you right now, kid"

The teenage cashier looked utterly horrified and I realised how that sounded out loud

A friend asking her son "Now did the Lego man have a hat on when you put him in your bottom?"

Once saw a small child flop on the pavement mid-tantrum and their dad muttered 'oh, mate... have some self respect'

Dh said something along these lines at the weekend to ds at the park when he sat down in a strop. Along with "you can't just sit down on the floor when mummy says no"

@PPNC

I just remembered one from a family member, went with her to get her little lads first ever uniform, he was bouncing off the walls with excitement, fitting done and he was still excited when we said it was home time. His little face fell and he said “but mummy we didn’t get my unicorn?”.

Saddest moment of realisation ever!

I do hope they went back out and got him a unicorn!

@FrickinA

To a small child who had got herself lost in M&S and was crying to her mum that she’d thought the mum had left without her ‘ I would NEVER EVER leave you, NEVER. Think of all those months you spent growing in my tummy. Would I go to all that trouble just to leave you in Marksies ?’ Followed by a big hug...

😭

Overheard some years ago in the london underground, a mum with i would guess a 4 yo dc, obviously first time on the tube.

mum (to dc): whats wrong X? I thought you were really excited about going on the underground train.
dc: This is the underground?
mum: Yes, we're in it now.
dc: Where are all the worms? And mud?