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Original poster

Whats the best quote you have heard from a parent in passing?

354 replies

Backtoreality1 · 02/03/2021 13:46

Had a lovely one yesterday....family were in their back garden but mum could be heard from the front in total exasperation saying ' xxxx, you are getting on my last nerve today'. Wasn't said with aggression just a clear voice with the tone of someone who was getting so tired. I wanted to go and give her a hug and I have never met her!

OP posts:
MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/03/2021 21:25

Loving this thread.....

Friend to her son on a walk in the Lancashire Hills. Very calm.

"XXX please put the sheep poo down".

When my dear departed DM was quizzing my 6 / 7 year old son at very multi-cultural school who was thoroughly enamoured with the Five Pillars of Islam, she became generationally concerned at his lack of RE with regard to Christianity, and being occasionally prone to un PC sarcasm she said "And do you sing to Allah at assembly?"

His reply, totally innocently was "No, we sing to the piano".

It was the ultimate bass drop.

Loopyloututu2 · 02/03/2021 21:25

My dm’s favourite phrase and one I often say to my own dc’s is “I don’t care about what’s fair - I care about peace and quiet”!

Boho7 · 02/03/2021 21:25

Hahaa this is brilliant GrinGrin

Redsquirrel5 · 02/03/2021 21:26

Exasperated parent one morning( 5 Primary aged kids) “Perhaps Mrs Redsquirrel would like to take you home and bring you back tomorrow.” As she pushed him through the door as he declared his love for me.

Notabove25 · 02/03/2021 21:28

Mum with a preschooler and a baby side by side in supermarket trolley. Older child poking baby.

Mum : If you don't stop that Mummy will get very cross

Boy: You won't shout in Tescos

Gliblet · 02/03/2021 21:28

Years ago before interactives were a 'thing' in most museums, I kept crossing paths with a mother and her small daughter. Every now and then the small person would point to something in a glass cabinet.

"What's that mummy?"
'Oooh, darling, that's VERY interesting - it's a type of bird that...'
"What does it do ?"
'Er. Well. Nothing, really. Umm, let's look at something else'

Over, and over, and over... Eventually the little girl pointed at a fossilised something-or-other and, as her mother launched into an enthusiastic explanation, said "YES Mummy, but what does it DO ?"

NOTHING. Alright? It's DEAD. We're going home.

Bless her.

Panda368 · 02/03/2021 21:30

"Please dont lick the cat, he doesnt like it"

Toptotoeunicolour · 02/03/2021 21:36

That man's wearing his chicken head Daddy.
Spoken by a little girl who had just passed a man with a mohican.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 02/03/2021 21:41

No you can’t eat it Toby, it’s dead. Noooo don’t poke it

They don’t shop in Waitrose. They’re not our kind of people

Can you get 4G in a council house?

Historytoo · 02/03/2021 21:42

In church, new vicar doing first service. Loudly from the front row "Well I don't think he's as good looking as you said he was Mum " So glad it wasn't my child.

PPNC · 02/03/2021 21:46

“No it’s fine you can tell him off, I cant I have a cold”.

Erm... what now?

babbaloushka · 02/03/2021 21:46

"You're about as useful as a pair of chocolate underpants" DH to DD who claimed she was helpfully smashing eggs into the cake mix.

StrawberryFizz26 · 02/03/2021 21:51

I'm howling at these.

SignOnTheWindow · 02/03/2021 21:52

@CosyAcorn

So glad this thread came up because I overheard this the other day when I took DD to the park and it keeps making me smile.

"Remember your social cues! "

Said by a dad to a very chatty lad of about 9 or 10 who had just found a man in the park who was training a pigeon to fly and was running up to him to ask questions about it.

The man with the bird seemed shy (but not annoyed at the interruption) but the boy was so excited that he just kept on asking questions and then the man offered to let the lad have a go at holding the bird, and then they worked together to teach it how to fly and land on one another's shoulders.

It was like watching a very low budget version of Up. And it made me smile that the boy didn't really pay any attention to social cues but made a friend anyway.

Reading this has made me quite tearful! Thanks for sharing!
Icantrememebrtheartist · 02/03/2021 21:53

“Make sure you’ve got clean knickers on incase you get run over” Was often said by my mum.

“

VintageDiamonds · 02/03/2021 21:56

‘Telling a child they’re tired is worse to them than an accusation of murder.’

My mum when my very young at the time son had a meltdown after I pointed out to him that he was tired.

Never forgotten it. It was her humour.

SignOnTheWindow · 02/03/2021 21:56

@Fieldings15

My dad always used to say "you've delighted us enough" which I think he stole from Jane Austen... Probably justified with 3 daughters though Grin
DH says that to DD2 when she's being particularly aggravating!

(And you're right - it's from Pride and Prejudice).

Doilooklikeatourist · 02/03/2021 21:57

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

I totally nicked my friend's favourite saying to her DC: "You know I can't hear you when you use your whiny voice" Grin
I used to say I don’t speak whine

DS to me
I only heard you when you told me the 4th time

Tiddlywinkly · 02/03/2021 21:58

Overheard in a posh village: "It's a bit too carbon footprinty.."

Me, several times a day to 5 yr old ds: "Stop squeezing your penis''. Thankfully not in public, or I haven't caught him yet...

BrownEyedGirl80 · 02/03/2021 21:59

I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it too

Clawdy · 02/03/2021 22:03

On a bus in Glasgow years ago, an aggrieved mum saying "Nae, ye canna have it, Eddie! "

Eddie: "If ye dinna give it me, I'll tell everyone you pee in the sink."
The whole bus heard it. Shock

LindaEllen · 02/03/2021 22:04

My favourite was when a toddler bumped into a woman in the supermarket and (I assume it was) her mother said 'Florence, you really need to work on your spatial awareness' but like really posh as if this 1 year old child should know what spatial awareness was 😂😂

faerveren · 02/03/2021 22:05

On a park bench a child eating crisps.
Mother - I gave you life and you won’t even give me a crisp

dementedma · 02/03/2021 22:05

As I was getting out of the car today I heard a man behind me saying" You need to remember that you just cant go up to people and want them to play with you. Not everyone is your pal you know". He was talking to his dog!

SmileYouDown · 02/03/2021 22:06

@CosyAcorn

So glad this thread came up because I overheard this the other day when I took DD to the park and it keeps making me smile.

"Remember your social cues! "

Said by a dad to a very chatty lad of about 9 or 10 who had just found a man in the park who was training a pigeon to fly and was running up to him to ask questions about it.

The man with the bird seemed shy (but not annoyed at the interruption) but the boy was so excited that he just kept on asking questions and then the man offered to let the lad have a go at holding the bird, and then they worked together to teach it how to fly and land on one another's shoulders.

It was like watching a very low budget version of Up. And it made me smile that the boy didn't really pay any attention to social cues but made a friend anyway.

Aw I just love this! I think it's the best thing I've ever read on here. Smile
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