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Original poster

Whats the best quote you have heard from a parent in passing?

354 replies

Backtoreality1 · 02/03/2021 13:46

Had a lovely one yesterday....family were in their back garden but mum could be heard from the front in total exasperation saying ' xxxx, you are getting on my last nerve today'. Wasn't said with aggression just a clear voice with the tone of someone who was getting so tired. I wanted to go and give her a hug and I have never met her!

OP posts:

tootyfruitypickle · 04/03/2021 00:29

I know the subject is parents saying to child not child to parent but I still cringe when I remember us passing a fairly short man in an alley and dd immediately saying 'that's a very small man mummy isn't it '

VikingLady · 04/03/2021 00:44

@faerveren

faerveren On a park bench a child eating crisps. Mother - I gave you life and you won’t even give me a crisp

@VikingLady
If you're in the NE, that could well have been me

I am

This is a regular jokey response to my kids not sharing, so now I'm wondering if I know you! Does the town begin with D?

I said it this morning about sweets.

MollyBloomYes · 04/03/2021 01:12

@PPNC this isn't child related but after a disastrous end to my honeymoon with no ex husband (our car got broken into, waited ages for the police to get crime ref then had to drive hell for leather to make the ferry, drove on and they shut the doors behind us, all very dramatic). Anyway, finally relaxed, adrenaline leaving body and had had a soothing cup of tea and nap and starting to see destination. Ex husband looks out the window and says 'Oh you can see Wales'
Little old me sits up, absolute look of utter childlike wonder and delight on my face and get ready to scamper across to the window. Exh catches this and says 'oh no. No not whales, Wales. The country. We're nearly there'
Several people sniggered. I was very tired and it had been very very fraught

MollyBloomYes · 04/03/2021 01:36

Oh and just thought of a recent one with DS5
'Even if you do want to be a girl when you grow up darling you still can't have a baby in your tummy. You haven't got a womb'

My goodness the tantrum. And yes I did immediately think of Monty Python

Ddot · 04/03/2021 05:37

Brother on bus with kids, son says dad! Hasn't that man got a big nose.
At a level everyone could hear.

Ninniwig · 04/03/2021 08:18

At a christening party... the person sitting next to me said quietly, ‘does that child come with a remote, if so please push the mute button’.

AmazingCoffee · 04/03/2021 08:38

@truetuesdays

"NO- we buy the presents and then Santa gives them to you!!!"

Someone caught out and thinking fast on their feet

Similar experience in Waterstones.

DS1 says 'Oh i want to buy this book!'
Me- But I got you that for Christmas!'
DS- I thought Santa got me that for Christmas
Me... yeah......... but I e-mailed him.

Spudlet · 04/03/2021 08:39

This thread made me weep with laughter last night (it was the Yellow Submarine that got me) and I have just nominated it for Classics.... please Mumsnet, please please please?

HarriR · 04/03/2021 09:28

@ECPCR2 followed by, in our case- then please don't put it back in your mouth! Routinely in our bathroom. @Backtoreality1 thank you these have made me laugh!

sadblackcat · 04/03/2021 11:58

A few years ago I was having a pub lunch and a boy of about 3 was playing with his car on the floor. He bumped into the leg of the chair and said get out of the bloody way, to which his father replied what have I
fking told you about fking swearing.

MackemLass79 · 04/03/2021 12:07

@Nanalisa60 haha yes that was popular in our house too "yeah cos she's your favourite" from dd2 about dd1 when she couldn't have her own way about something. Absolutely not true dd2 mummy actually isn't a big fan of either of u if I'm honest 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Notalwaysmad · 04/03/2021 12:42

Please stop eating the onions they are not apples

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 04/03/2021 13:00

I was walking the same supermarket route as a lady with three children. On who looked about 18 months in the trolley, and the others were probably about 3 and 5.

After several repetitions of "no darling, we look with our eyes, not our fingers" (in different aisles), it became "eyes, not fingers!" and by the end, as she said "X, I said we look with our eyes..." the baby piped up "not fingers!" from the trolley. (Well, more like nof-ingahs, but it was the matching intonation that made me laugh)

I don't know how many times you have to repeat something for a baby to mimic it, but she'd hit that over the course of the shopping!

Bodynegative · 04/03/2021 13:33

That reminds me of my third birthday. We met my aunt & grandfather for lunch & my aunt said she had a frog for me in the car and that I'd get it when we went down to the beach. I was so exited, not knowing if it was real or a toy one. Never was a 3yr old girl more disappointed, my frog was a "frock" a candy striped dress with a bow at the waist.. devastated

debsam · 04/03/2021 13:52

From the back of the car when my boys were small.

DS1 (4): Mummy, DS2 doesn't buzz does he?
Me: No
DS1: Then why do you call him a little bee?

iwannascream · 04/03/2021 14:48

This has made me snigger and choke during a very boring meeting that is currently happening in my office...i'm not part of the meeting and should be working but mumsnet is much more fun.

One I have from when my son was 3, I was in a department store trying on jeans. I was wearing a thong but of course he didn't know that and said in the loudest voice "gasp...mum why are you not wearing any pants eughhhh". I should mention the changing room was full and had a queue of people waiting to go in, so you can imagine how many people laughed. Whilst laughing myself I told him I did have pants on just my pants didn't look like his. I waited what seemed like ages in the changing room and when I left I saw the girl that worked the changing rooms and she thanked my son for making her day. My son was delighted and smiled all the way out the store.

Kitdeluca1 · 04/03/2021 21:59

@Clawdy yours wins😂

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/03/2021 23:07

Just remembered one from DD (now 19, then about 4) and I have posted it before.

Driving to the supermarket and got horribly cut up to the point of almost having a nasty accident, at a roundabout. I let go an interesting sentence referring to the parentage and personal hobby of the offending driver. Silence from the back of the car for a few minutes and then...

"Mummy......whats a wanker?"

cue me nearly crashing the car again :o

Slightly worries me now I think about it that she didnt ask what a fucking bastard was :o

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 04/03/2021 23:23

We were having dinner as a family in a diner where there was a grabber machine with various soft toys. There were the usual plush animals but there were also half a dozen or so beavers. Each of these beavers clutched a purse with the words "Tight Beaver" on it.

The diner was busy. We were part of a large party, our kids were the only ones there. There was another largish party of youngish adults. The men in the other party were most amused by the "Tight Beaver" and were competing with each other to be the first to grab one. They were grabbing lots of other random toys which they were passing on to my kids who were having a wonderful time.

There would have been a dozen or so of them gathered round the machine cheering each other on as they tried to grab a beaver. My youngest, would would have been about 4, came back and, in a really piercing voice asked "Mummy - why do all those men want to grab a tight beaver?"

Puddlepop · 05/03/2021 11:28

From an impeccably dressed mother to her grown up, equally polished daughter while browsing small-batch artisan goods: What’s a manly candle? Does it smell of sweat?

AmazingCoffee · 05/03/2021 14:06

@PyongyangKipperbang

Just remembered one from DD (now 19, then about 4) and I have posted it before.

"Mummy......whats a wanker?"

cue me nearly crashing the car again :o

Slightly worries me now I think about it that she didnt ask what a fucking bastard was :o

That reminds me once when I was in a parking spot, with my indicator on getting ready to pull out into the road. A delivery van drove up and doubleparked right next to me and the driver got out and did whatever he was doing leaving me stuck for a few minutes. I just sort of humphed and a little 3 year old voice pipes up merrily from the backseat; 'He's just a fucking cunt, isn't he mum?'.

I had words with DH when we got home....

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/03/2021 14:08

:o:o

Well to be fair to her, he was a fucking cunt!

AmazingCoffee · 05/03/2021 14:19

I agreed totally with the sentiment!

(But had the horrors about what might be coming out at nursery...... )

Hoppinggreen · 05/03/2021 15:26

I was visiting my brother and his 4 year old was in the garden. He came in and asked if tea was ready. My brother said know
My nephew replied “oh for fucks sake” in an exasperated voice and went back out to play.

MrsWhatToDo · 05/03/2021 17:23

Overheard in Tesco carpark.
Small child 2/3yo being held by parent, SCREAMING and in full on 'starfish' position..
Mum: Will you chill out! I'm trying to put you in a trolly not rip your arms and legs off!

At a friends.
5yo with non stop verbal commentary about everything from her shoe size to describing her ideal imaginary pet. Dad jumps up from sofa and starts singing her around, tickles her, turns her upside down. Hes looking behind her ears, between her toes, in her hair... While she's laughing hysterically. 7yo DS comes in
DS: What are you doing to L?
Dad: Looking for her pause button!

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