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Original poster

Whats the best quote you have heard from a parent in passing?

354 replies

Backtoreality1 · 02/03/2021 13:46

Had a lovely one yesterday....family were in their back garden but mum could be heard from the front in total exasperation saying ' xxxx, you are getting on my last nerve today'. Wasn't said with aggression just a clear voice with the tone of someone who was getting so tired. I wanted to go and give her a hug and I have never met her!

OP posts:
Meandmyhamsterheadagain · 03/03/2021 18:54

@alsodetoxing

"not for billions of years and you'll be dead by then so it's all fine"
Have you been passing by me? I have a child with Autism and amongst other things, she has concerns for time and things that will happen waaaaaay in the future and I quite often use this exact phrase 🤦‍♀️
Smiliechic · 03/03/2021 19:00

@Thatwentbadly
It’s very middle class to say pardon, working and upper classes say what. You would never find Princes Charles saying pardon. Neither way is right. It’s just different.

I grew up on a council estate - working class family and I am in that ‘working class’ bracket too
I was raised that it was rude to say what when called -
I did say it made me chuckle - didn’t say I’d judged her for it!

pollymere · 03/03/2021 19:15

I still cringe over the looks I got when I half shouted "You can't have salad until you've eaten your pizza!"

Said child had had loads of free salad from the salad bar but was refusing to eat expensive pizza! 😂

thedaffodilsareout · 03/03/2021 19:16

When my son was about 5 and really cross with me about something he would tell me I wasn't coming to his party. Then he would start to calm down and say (still sulking a bit) "ok mummy, you can come to my party, but you are NOT getting a party bag". Grin No idea where he thought parties and party bags were going to appear from if he cut me out of the deal Grin

rabbitholes · 03/03/2021 19:21

'No, they are not human kidneys' [supermarket meat counter].

KarmaNoMore · 03/03/2021 19:32

There are two I surprised my self saying:

  • should I let natural selection take its course? - after DS, then 10, climbed to the top of a 8m Greek arch on his flip flops and started waving me from there.
  • I was exhausted and having a talk with a friend in a park when we heard the park warden shouting to some kids that had started playing with a ball in a “ball games forbidden” area. I just said, please do not look at them, he will know they are ours...
cazinge · 03/03/2021 19:34

Me, in recovery after c section for DD. DP has gone to NiCU with her. I am slightly high on drugs and obviously a bit all over the place. 2.5 year old DS was with my parents. Decided to call them to tell them I'd had the baby, she was a girl, etc. while I was on the phone the breastfeeding lady came in just as I am saying " I think Nanny just said not to hit Grandad with a sword". Breastfeeding lady nearly dropped the breastpump!

CookL · 03/03/2021 19:35

@Blockedoff

Don't sit by a hot radiator, you'll melt your kidneys 😂

Said by my mum!

I once visited my friend who had an uncle from America staying. He had fascinating stories. I sat on the radiator to listen to them. He spotted it and said ‘don’t sit on there - you’ll burn your fanny. He was mortified when my friends mother explained what a perfectly polite and normal American expression meant in England, and what’s more he had said it to a 7year old girl !!!
rabbitholes · 03/03/2021 19:40

@cherish123

It's a dictatorship not a democracy.
That's my line 😂
OzzyGirl89 · 03/03/2021 19:42

As a child when I asked my mum what was for dinner she always said 'sh*t with sugar on it!'

Sunnyrainydays · 03/03/2021 19:45

I once heard a neighbour say to her son in an exasperated tone
"for the umpteenth time, pugs don't actually like to eat sand !!"

Had a vision of the child force feeding the dogs sand from his sand pit

Sunnyrainydays · 03/03/2021 19:47

@CookL lol

My aunt emigrated to the USA quite a few years back and had to get used to the difference in meaning of that word Grin

QueenRefusenik · 03/03/2021 19:47

"no, they won't sell you a gingerbread man if you don't have any clothes on".

"This ain't a democracy, kid"

"please stop thagomizing daddy"

"No, you won't have any boobs when you're older, you're a boy" (this one followed by an impressive meltdown!)

ememem84 · 03/03/2021 19:54

one that i said to dm...when i was 3.

i had a squirrel toy - one of those ones that was jointed and if you pressed the bottom it'd dance - i had it at the supermarket with dm and pressed it so it looked between its legs.

i said "look mummy he's looking for his nuts" dm tried to not wet herself laughing and kept calm. the two guys behind her in the queue however....

ds has also said to me "look mummy you've done a big poo" (when we were in the toilet cubicle - he's 3). then he clapped and said "yay mummy!" and announced to everyone waiting outside that mum had done a big poo.

i'm so lucky to have him....

Bluehues · 03/03/2021 19:55

In an Australian Cole’s supermarket my son & I walked past a lady pushing a baby in trolley just as she sighed (Aussie accent) “hate this fucking town”

Titsywoo · 03/03/2021 19:55

This was other people hearing my child but I used to take my kids to a local museum in South London by myself (they were 18 months and 3 when this happened) so had to take them to the toilet with me. I was on my period and wearing a sanitary towel and DD loudly shouted (in the very busy toilets) "Mummy why have you done a poo in your pants?!". There was a lot of sniggering. I waited about 5 mins to leave that cubicle!

gracelessladyhottramp · 03/03/2021 19:56

@vampirethriller

"Daniel, I am running out of Happy Voice."
Oh I love this!! Might have to steal it.
Bananabuddy3 · 03/03/2021 20:03

Mum and a child on a bench next to me on a pier at the beach a couple of years back:

Child: I want another ice cream!
Mum: And I want a million pounds!
Child: mum I want another ice cream
Mum: And I want a million pounds
Slight pause
Child: Mummy! Mum! I want another ice cream!
Mum: And I want a million pounds!
Child: (now crying) I WANT AN ICE CREAM NOOOOW!!!
Mum: I really want a million pounds....
Child: I WANT ICE CREAM!!!! PLEASE MUMMY!
Mum: And I really want a million pounds - have you got a million pounds in your purse?
Child: Noooo!
Mum: Oh dear, not enough money for ice cream then. An ice cream cone is a million pounds. Never mind.

I was loosing it next to that mum and I wasn’t the only one. Well played.

This one was on the bus a few days ago. There was a dad with his daughter who must have been around 4? She asked to play on his phone

“No way. You’ll eat it and lick it and it will be gross. You buy ya own phone mate”
I want to play!
“No you’re a kid and kids ruin everything nice. You save your pocket money and get your own phone. This is my toy, you have yours.”
Can I buy a phone please?
“When you’ve got enough pocket money”
Ok.....give me more pocket money please daddy!

casade13 · 03/03/2021 20:04

My ds10 can be a right git sometimes but especially recently when home learning. He often does things to get a reaction or to annoy me I think 😂

I was helping him with french today and I pointed at a picture and said "what's that in french?" He replied "shit". I said "ok can you tell me what shit is in french?". He seemed confused 😂

Weebleonaworkout · 03/03/2021 20:05

Not a parent but I did overhear a colleague in an adjacent class call out "xxxxx, please stop scratching your Davinas with a school ruler!".
I was crying with laughter for ages.

Bonnieonthelam · 03/03/2021 20:08

@alexis4theppl

My Grandad to my younger brother and 3 boy cousins... "don't think, your not good at it"
Spluttered choc milkshake all over my kids whilst reading that. Oh how applicable to my own life and situation 😂
Tommika · 03/03/2021 20:15

The best part of this came from a child’s voice....

When we are on stalls at shows for the weekend we try to make a ‘social’ area between the stall, van and out camping.
Sometimes this gives space for inflatables as seating such as an inflatable pool unicorn. We also have a giant cuddly polar bear.

One of the paths out to the car park went past the back of the stalls, and if someone looked through the gaps they may see our camping & seating.

We heard the voices of an excited child and a stressed mother trying to get back to the car.....

“Look mummy, a polar bear sat on a unicorn” ..... “Don’t be so silly, hurry up ....”

RamsayBoltonsConscience · 03/03/2021 20:16

My gran was lovely, we lived with her for a few years when my mum and dad were doing up our house. I was spoilt rotten and I remember as a small child (probably about 6), I took it into my head to wear an extra pair of knickers everyday. So instead of changing my knickers on Monday, I just added an extra pair and so on for several days. (Bear in mind that this was the 70s and we probably only had a bath once a week! 🤢) I don't know how it came about but eventually my mother discovered this genius idea (I probably stank) and she really shouted at me. My gran couldn't stop laughing and when she did, she cut me a piece of cake and told my mother it was her fault for not giving me a cardigan and I was probably just cold. This one memory really sticks with me, she was so kind (although my mother making excuses for my child's bizarre behaviour would drive me insane! 😂)

Bananaman123 · 03/03/2021 20:16

Brother to 5yr old nephew "no you are not getting a hunting knife to chop wood for your den" nephew was not happy at all, so unfair

ElijahsMoon · 03/03/2021 20:20

My brother in law is the poshest man in the world. He went to private school and speak like Boris. Ive never heard him swear and never seen him without a blazer jacket on and a pocket square. The idea of him alone makes me smile, hes amazing. One day he came to take his son home from my house. Nephew didnt want to go. I pretended to busy myself as BIL (badly) tried to pursuade 4 year old to put his shoes on. I then overheard BIL, in the best Queens english, say "Sebastian, stop being a little shit and put your bloody shoes on! Mummy has made creme brulee and there will be none for you with this attitude". Nephew threw a shoe at him.