Early Noughties teen mag ridiculousness

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

Does anyone remember the little nuggets if totally ridiculous advice they’d give you in teen magazines?

I used to be an avid reader of Shout! magazine. The main goal of these magazines seemed to be being popular and having boys notice you obviously, and were filled with totally mad tips on how to achieve these things and not be a ‘geek’ who wasn’t interested. Which is totally inappropriate advice these days, happily.

I remember one was ‘if you are invited to a party, arrive late and leave early! You are a social butterfly who has had to squeeze the party in between other engagements’

Happily I HAD been invited to a party in my local pub function room that very weekend! I spent a long time applying glitter hair mascara to my fringe to make it clump together attractively (why) and I think I even had on one of those fetching skirt with trousers combos with a vest top from Tammy girl. I got my dad to drive round the block a bit so I could try to be late, but it didn’t take very long and I think I turned up at ten minutes after the start time. I had a few dances to All Saints and Steps and drank a couple of cans of Coke and an hour before it was due to finish, I did a big show of having to rush off.

Now, we lived in a very small town. There was NO WAY any other parties were happening on the same night. But desperately trying to stick to my social butterfly narrative I said goodbye and off I went.

I sat round the corner in the bus shelter until it was time to get picked up. While everyone else was having a nice time at the party

What a knob! When I got to school on the Monday everyone was saying it was rude to leave the party early and I felt like such an idiot.

Can anyone remember any more of the ridiculous things they used to spout in these magazines? I’d love to get my hands one now as I think it would be hilarious

Gosh imagine if they made More now. It would be filled with warnings about sexting pictures, how to vajazzle to amaze him and tips to keep your Instagram face while orgasmic

Yes to the main theme being about getting boys to notice you! I remember specific advice being to "have a trademark" such as "being the girl with the fluffy backpack" (?!)

Your best friend fancying 'your crush' was a cause of endless misery.

I always remember a true life story about a girl with 3 kids by the age of 16. it was in sugar. I wonder what happen to her. Apparently the pill didn't work for her.

More magazine taught me all my best sex moves. “Although its called a blow job-suck don’t blow!!” sticks in my mind 😂

Can this be moved to classics is usually overused for non funny threads, but if it hasn't already been suggested can this one be please @MNHQ?
It's nostalgia feel good

Position on the fortnight was just eye opening at 13! No way would i let my children read them now but i know there is much worse readily available on the internet

My mum has a copy of shout in my memory box, I was in it when I was about 13/14, there was a couple of local girls in the same issue (teenagers working) and the issue either before or after a girl from my class was in with her many pets. A lady who wrote for them lived opposite us and was mates with my mums best friend

@Wondermule

Yes I remember 😂😂 my Saturday morning consisted of a trip to the shop with £5 for Mizz, Shout, a Mars bar and whatever my mum asked me to pick up.

The ‘CRINGE’ page usually consisted of readers accidentally showing people their sanitary towels, or sneezing while walking past their ‘crush’ in the street.

You’re right, they were just manuals on how to get boys to notice you! (With a free clear lip gloss of course)

I forgot all about Mizz and their cringe page, with the cartoon embarrassed teens he he, wow what a rush of nostalgia.

@OP I too rocked the skirt over trousers look for the 4 or so months that it was "in", wtf was that about

I used to get every magazine going, had a relative who worked in a newsagent and used to bring me a copy of all the magazines home, I'm presuming the ones that didn't sell lol
I don't remember Catch! though?
What years was that out, I was reading magazine mid 1980s onwards

My anc my friends used to snigger at More at school and then on the train to college. I remember my first boyfriend was a little bit older and we tried some of the positions when his parents went on holiday. It didn’t go well but was hilariously funny.

A couple of items I remember are a bit disturbing. A girl wrote into the problem page saying her boyfriend was obsessed with the Evil Dead films and in particular the scene where a girl was raped by a tree. He wanted to recreate this and penetrate her with a stick WTAF!

The other was a true life story about a young couple. They didn’t use contraception and of course the girl became pregnant. Terrified they got some pills from the internet to induce a miscarriage, they didn’t seem to work so the boy used a bent piece of wire. She nearly died.

@Mockolate. I would say Catch was out circa 1990 but I could be wrong.

Ahhh lovely shout magazine with Holly Willoughby modelling on the front with a free beaded bracelet! Just seventeen was the ruder of the lot, talking about sex and knobs and all sorts. Those were the good old days lol

[quote Bbq1]@Mockolate. I would say Catch was out circa 1990 but I could be wrong.[/quote]
Ah right, thank you - I was mostly TV HIts and Just Seventeen then so must have missed that one

This thread is bringing back so many memories. I almost wish I was a teenager again, when buying multiple magazines and reading them with friends was the highlight of my week. Magazines now are not as much fun!

I love this so much! The main reason I moved to England was J17! I loved the bonkers advice and the very adult questions on the problem pages and I wanted to learn more about this country where teenagers seemed to live such exciting lives.

Oh gosh. I'd forgotten Catch magazine. I was an avid reader of Shout, Mizz, Just Seventeen, 19, Sugar and More (my Gran berated the po mistress for selling me filth once). Whatever I could get my hands on or swap with friends.

I remember the tiny freebies that I would hoard.

Also, ring of shame in Sugar. How awful, picking out spots or sweat patches on celebs. We were brainwashed/groomed into living to be popular and fancied.

I remember being particularly shocked about the story of a girl who went to a party and was coerced into sex with multiple boys.

Teen of the 70s here and the main magazine was Jackie. All the same sort of stuff in as you all talked about. It closed in 1993.

Highlight year (yes just checked) was 1972 when David Cassidy was in the U.K touring and there was various freebies Cassidy related in the magazine.

Cathy and Claire were the two weekly agony aunts 😃 God I am feeling old thinking of that

@Kljnmw3459

I love this so much! The main reason I moved to England was J17! I loved the bonkers advice and the very adult questions on the problem pages and I wanted to learn more about this country where teenagers seemed to live such exciting lives.

Bet you were well disappointed 😂😂

This chap
likepunkneverhappened.blogspot.com/
has scanned every issue of Smash Hits up to the late 80s. What a treasure! I'm not aware of any similar websites for other mags, perhaps they're out there.

I felt SO grown up buying and reading More, reading it cover to cover with all its sexual detail when in reality if a boy so much as looked at me I vomited in my mouth and ran away petrified

@OnSecondThoughts

This chap likepunkneverhappened.blogspot.com/ has scanned every issue of Smash Hits up to the late 80s. What a treasure! I'm not aware of any similar websites for other mags, perhaps they're out there.

That's my life on hold while I read all the ones I read as a teen!

I used to read Just Seventeen back in the 90’s.

The one nugget I remember the most was where they told us girls that if a boy was being mean to you, it was probably because he fancied you.

I remember thinking this absolutely must be true, because at the time there was a lad at school that was constantly taking the piss out of me. Eventually he found the bottle to ask me out.

Although I thought about it over the weekend and dumped him on the Monday. So that lasted a grand total of 2 days

I’m sure one of them (probably More) did a feature on a journalist going undercover to become a Escort. I hope it was fake. There was a bit about finally getting a young client and her being relieved after all the older guys but actually having a horrible time with him that stuck in my memory.

Actually that could have been Cosmo (not really any better tho)