What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

[whatsnewpussycat777]

Me

I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door.

No fucker one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach.

What an idiot. 😢

Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?!

Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. certainly not neat

Put my thumb on a car lighter to see if it cooled down as fast as it heated up. It didn't. The smoke and the sizzling sound. The smell! Then the embarrassing looking around to see if anyone noticed my stupidity. Then my dad got in the car and asked what that smell was. I showed him my thumb and he just sighed. Everytime I looked at my thumb and seen the lighter rings imprinted on it I asked myself why the fuck did I do that. Just because it's not glowing red doesn't mean it's not hot. I knew that, but for some reason I needed proof.

I got drunk and slept with the shouty guy who got thrown off Question Time.

In my defence, it happened many years before that episode of Question Time.

Teenage me thought it would be really clever and swipe my thumb across a razor when I was shaving my legs to clear the hair....

It bled like mad. And for a long time. Was left with 3 lovely gouges across my thumb

I was so engrossed in this thread that I decided to do part of my skincare routine at the laptop so I could keep reading. I dropped an open bottle of serum, miraculously caught it, and then set it down on my actual laptop just so that I could knock it over again ten seconds later. It went all over the touchpad part.

Hoping and praying that I managed to intercept most of it. The screen just got bigger and bigger again all by itself which is probably not a good sign.

@TheSparkleJar

I was so engrossed in this thread that I decided to do part of my skincare routine at the laptop so I could keep reading. I dropped an open bottle of serum, miraculously caught it, and then set it down on my actual laptop just so that I could knock it over again ten seconds later. It went all over the touchpad part.

Hoping and praying that I managed to intercept most of it. The screen just got bigger and bigger again all by itself which is probably not a good sign.

Meta post

Hope your laptop is ok!

@Elledouble

At home, alone, stone cold sober and for no reason I can fathom, decided to try doing a Sporty Spice-style high kick. I was wearing a pencil skirt, so as the right leg went up it took the left with it and I fell on my arse so hard I winded myself.

This doesn't just win the thread, it wins the Internet

@MisiSam

This isn't something I've done but it's something I've thought it's very embarrassing.

For a while I thought brexit was a man.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh this has made my night

Don't use dettol mould and mildew spray above a metal curtain rail. The previous tenant will have fixed it up with solvent and not screws which will be gradually dissolved and it will fall off and land on your bed in the middle of the night. This will a) scare the shit out of you, b) fucking hurt and c) teach your children a few new expletives.

@JustCheesz

I once stood on the end of rake to see if it really does come up and hit you in the face.

It does.

Sorry but 🤣

I used to be terrified of Crane Flies (aka Daddy Long Legs). One night i was sat drinking wine and one landed on the table next to my wine glass.

I picked my glass up and squished the DLL with the bottom of my glass.

Only the force shattered the stem which in turn shattered the glass and my hand carried on with the downward trajectory into the shards of glass.

I ended up at A&E with actual stitches in my thumb and still have the scars to tell the tale.

My mum has 2 front doors. The new outside door and then a very small porch and the original front door which is now inside.

I once started to leave the house, closed the internal door behind me and went to open the front door only to find it locked. Turned to go back in and realised the internal door had locked behind me. At which point I realised I had forgotten my keys. I was stuck in the porch. Thabkfully I had my phone with me and was able to call my mum who had to leave work to free me. I was stuck there for an hour waiting (this was pre Smart phones so I had nothing to do!)

Tried left foot braking on a busy (albeit thankfully slow moving) ring road. Do not try it, anywhere, ever!

Discussed a mystery.

@Rhiannon13 did you have shoes on?

Dumped everything beside the sink into it to be washed. Fished them out one by one to wipe and rinse. Wasn't thrilled to find one of them was my phone.

My uncle had raging toothache, got up went downstairs to get some clove oil. Applied to his tooth, decided he needed a pee while he was downstairs. Handed washed his hands and ended up howling with pain, and had to dip his penis in a glass of water... he is adamant it was a pint glass 😂

my DH is the clumsiest person ever. Our DS was invited for a football trial. It had been raining so everywhere was muddy. The ball was kicked out of play, so DH ran over to kick it back. Hands in his pockets, he casually ran over to the ball, and slipped on his face, wriggling like a fish out of water to try and get his hands out of his pockets and failed. His entire front was covered including his face. Our DS denied he was his dad

Not me but I still wonder wtf he did that for.

Ex was selling his car, it was a wreck and he was so keen to sell it. Someone was coming to view it and he went out to meet them but left the car keys in his flat, along with his flat keys. Desperate to get in he put his hand through his letter box to reach his front door keys which were on the shelf inside. He couldn't quite reach them so called me at work. A colleague drove me there and he was totally stuck. We had to take the door off it's hinges and he was wearing the letterbox like a bangle. Reader, I dumped him.

When I was pregnant with DD I was craving toasted marshmallows so decided to toast one over the hob - on a metal fork I can still feel the metal searing my lip! Worst of it all I still tried to eat the bloody marshmallow whilst the fork prong was melting/burning my bottom lip!

Stood on a rake.

I decided to paint my bedroom walls with white paint, opened the paint pot and put it on a shelf.

Out of nowhere the paint pot fell off, bounced on the wooden floor, exploded paint high into the air all over my head. I was in such shock I ran to the mirror and opened my eyes and they were completely white with paint. I looked like grasshopper off Kung Fu.

I rushed to the doctor’s who had to look up the type of paint it was in his book and he cleaned it all out for me while shaking his head.

Married STBXH

when we were seeing each other he wouldn’t call me for days if we had an argument or disagreement
I married him because clearly I didn’t think

It continued into our marriage where he would ignore me for weeks at a time and then started to do it to our son

Prick just glosses over it when it bring it up

I was going on holiday with some friends and I was the only driver. Can't remember what, but we had to Super glue something. Just as my friend said"make sure you don't glue your hand together, you're our only driver" I glued all my fingers together and had to drive with one hand bunched up until we got somewhere with soap and water.

Also, as a youngster I loved sledding and knew no fear. Roads, rivers, lakes, and barbed wire fences. I have been in/through them all in a determined effort to sled as far and fast as possible.

A few weeks ago I was walking through woods and it was a bit icy. Saw a fun rocky bit that looked proper icy. Thought "what's the worst that can happen?" Broken wrist and dislocated thumb.

Not me (I’m a lot more careful these days) but last time it snowed kids were sledging down a hill, slowing down before they got to the path before there was a steep,tree covered bank going down to the river. So Daddy knobhead decides to have a go, except being a big bloke the momentum takes him crashing down the bank. Luckily not hurt.
So he does it again.

When I was in my mid teens in UK and used to have what we called "hitching races" to get to various gigs, pubs and parties in the town i lived in-..so the one wearing the least clothes would stand on the edge of the pavement, thumb out-car or van would pull up and we'd jump out of the bushes into the car too..usually had a skinful or at least carrying a bottle of vod for the journey..it had kind of a race element too-which group could get there first. We even used it to get to the Reading Festival, Phoenix Festival..
Sharing a rancid cockroach-infested bedsit with a Mexican guy I met on the beach( when he chatted me up)in Cancun as Id run out of money and still had a week before my ticket back to Miami after backpacking down from Puerto Escondido..
Living in the back of a transport van in New York as part of a travelling fair I joined with my ex for a quick bit of cash in hand .It had no windows-and whenever we turned off the torch you could hear things moving. We bugbombed it and it was also full of roaches.
Hitching around Oz as a backpacker after I wrote off the car I bought years before I emigrated here....Yeah my 9 lives are deffo used up.

Sharpened a knife, tested how sharp it was with my thumb, 3 stitches is how sharp the fucker was!