Page 10 | What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

whatsnewpussycat777 · 2021-02-12T19:12:14+00:00

Me [blush] I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door. No --fucker-- one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach. What an idiot. 😢 Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?! Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. --certainly not neat--

Colouringaddict · 13/02/2021 05:12

This raving insomniac thanks you all for the laughs. Had to be like Mutley so I don’t wake DH up.

You are all brilliant!

Soubriquet · 13/02/2021 05:26

Dh does loads of stupid things but the latest one was going to the toilet, he pulled down his jogging bottoms and the elastic rebounded and snapped him right in the area right between his dick and bollocks

I think they needed to invent a new decibel noise for what came out of him

pollyglot · 13/02/2021 05:31

Experimenting with my new "chainsaw on a stick" , and cut what seemed from the ground to be a small branch. It wasn't. And I wasn't wearing my hard hat. It hit me, really hard, on the head and knocked me out. Badly concussed, a completely purple and blue face and 5 weeks off work.

fullofhope100 · 13/02/2021 05:35

@JustCheesz

I once stood on the end of rake to see if it really does come up and hit you in the face.

It does.

Oh @JustCheesz, your recollection has made me LOL!! PS - I've had so many WTF moments in my life, will try to remember a fun one

Babycakesbay · 13/02/2021 05:49

Lit a candle and put it in a plastic candle holder. Fell asleep and woke up to my dresser on fire. In my defence who makes plastic candle holders? I suppose you can also say who is equally dumb to buy a plastic candle holder but I was 16!

Was abroad for uni for a year. Had to renew my visa. The Houses of Parliament and Home Affairs Department are very close together and on the same street. I walk there and seeing the numbers guess I have arrived (although I didn't actually see the number I was looking for - just guestimated). Saw police officers and people going through a side entrance and thought this must be the way. Passed dozens of security, plain clothes and uniformed officers and it just didn't click. They were a few dogs as well. Saw a sign that said "Gun Check" and saw people queuing up and having their bags checked and being xrayed and for some reason didn't think this applied to me. Saw the elevator. It needed a key card to open, walked in with someone who used his card, he also had to use it to select the floor. I calmly said 4th floor (knew this is where I was going). Noticed his surprised face but nothing clicked in my head. Got out on the 4th floor.

Start looking for the immigration department. Two uniformed officers immediately ask me what I was doing there. I was quite irritated and told them I need to renew my visa can they point me to the right office it says 4th floor. They look dumbfounded. I insist again. They come and take my folder and check my letter and appointment. They laugh and ask me how I got up here. I'm getting increasingly annoyed. Then the penny drops. They humour me and find it pretty hilarious I blindly walked through so many levels of security and realise I genuinely made a mistake. Let's just day I got a police escort to my appointment 150m away (the building isclearly labelled with the street name and number as well), and they carried my documents and bag for me, and wouldn't leave until they left me with the clerk. I am so grateful they believed me and didn't think I was a terrorist of some sort or shoot first. I'm also not to sure if they reported my breach.

DaylightSunlight · 13/02/2021 05:49

Pretty much each time I post on MN.

Rhiannon13 · 13/02/2021 06:20

@Rhiannon13 did you have shoes on?

@SupremeDreamz No

H202 · 13/02/2021 06:23

@WeeMadArthur

I broke my glasses once and in a panic I superglued them myself totally wonky. Cue a trip to the opticians to find out that they could have fixed them if I hadn’t glued them solid.

I have done EXACTLY the same as you! 👁️👁️

joystir59 · 13/02/2021 06:27

Props mistress on a very serious play about the Holocaust. The curtain was left open during the interval, and some of the audience remained in their seats chatting and watching us move things ready for the next act. I helped lift a trap door centre stage, stepped backwards with it but misjudged , and promptly disappeared from view. There was a collective gasp from the audience who couldn't have known that I'd safely landed 3 feet down on a mattress placed below the trap door. I caught my chin on the edge of the stage though and had to go to A&E for stitches. But luckily A&E was quiet and I was backstage again before final curtain!

H202 · 13/02/2021 06:35

I decided to make hot chocolate for me and four of my children.

I carefully measured out 5 cups of milk, poured them into a big jug and went to place the jug in the microwave. But, the jug was too tall to fit in the microwave so I poured out approximately one cup of milk and went to put the jug back in the microwave!

PolarnOPirate · 13/02/2021 06:39

Got on a down escalator and left my second leg behind at the top, so ended up doing the splits down the escalator until I couldn't any longer and had to quickly somehow drag my leg back to meet the other one.

I had suddenly developed a fear of down escalators which then lasted for about 10 years! I was about 8 at the time.

Another time I went up a level via escalator, and the only way down was via down escalator. I dithered for a bit, then hit the emergency stop button and ran down the escalator, with alarm blaring and it felt like a mall full of people staring at me!!

PolarnOPirate · 13/02/2021 06:41

There's more serious stupid stuff I've done but I feel that would bring the thread down

speakout · 13/02/2021 06:46

Loved an evil genius.
Caused me more tragedy and loss than I would have believed possible.
(Was the most fun I ever had too though)

H202 · 13/02/2021 07:02

@Moonflower12

I was trying to get stuck flapjack out of a Pyrex dish, with a very sharp paring knife, with the Mound of Venus part of my hand in front of the point of the knife. Literally as I thought,' This is really stupid' the knife slipped and plunged deep in my hand, with the point right through to the other side.

"mound of Venus" is also referred to simply as “mons,” mons veneris - mons veneris translates from the Latin as "mound of Venus" or "mound of love" so I'm really hoping you know your mount from your mound and your hand from your nether regions 😂😂

theviewfromhalfwaydown · 13/02/2021 07:22

I once came home to find my hairdryer in the kitchen bin. My ex who had very short hair wouldn’t tell me why. The next morning the kids excitedly told me how daddy tried to make cheese on toast with my hairdryer and it broke. I have no idea what he was thinking as we had a grill and a toasty maker.

Gice · 13/02/2021 07:30

As a new driver I was on a stretch of motorway driving back from somewhere I didn’t know. I would always stick to the inside lane but on this bit of motorway another lane joined it so that the lane I was on became the middle lane. My junction was coming up and there was a huge lines of lorries on the inside lane. I freaked out a bit but looked ahead and thought ok there’s only a couple of lorries ahead and then a gap so I can get past these ones and make my junction. All ok, passed the first two then the third pulled out in front of me but was still going the same speed. I completely panicked, lots of fast cars in the lanes to my right so was too scared to change lanes that way to get past the lorry tried dropping back to see if there was a gap further back but had cars come up behind me. My junction was approaching rapidly and I was in a complete panic and in my panic I literally squeezed my car through a gap between the lorry in front of me and the lorry to my left. So stupid and so very lucky that I didn’t cause a massive pile up.

I’m feeling sick just typing this, can’t believe how stupid I was.

Wineisrequired · 13/02/2021 07:53

Went out with a group of girls . Ended up getting totally trashed and ended up in this random house. I still don’t know how I got there . Anyway fell asleep on this big leather sofa and when I woke up there were about five blokes sat round a big table snorting lines of coke . I had to try and navigate my way out of this house and finally found a road . Had to get my mum to come and get me she was not impressed and I think she was still in her pyjamas .

bottleofvodka · 13/02/2021 08:00

Many years ago, I had met a guy, my Friends cousin who I fancied. After a night clubbing with him and my friend, we went to my friend's house where we shared a kiss. As I was trying to light a cigarette, he said something funny so I did my best sexy flirty laugh at it... But I turned my head at the wrong time and set a huge chunk of my hair on fire! the smell was horrific. He found it hilarious. I had a bald patch on one side and smelt like burnt hair...so sexy

So my friend (after calming down from laughing) gave me towels and I made my way to the shower to try to get rid of the not so sexy smell of burnt hair... Thinking I would have a quick shower and still have time to salvage some sexy time with my crush. But I had just shampooed my hair when the shower suddenly stopped working. I text my friend for help and she came to the bathroom and couldn't fix it...so I was stood there in a towel with my hair covered in shampoo... Also not a good look.

My friend said she would get some hot water to rinse my hair in the sink. So I waited for a few minutes and she arrived into the bathroom with the kettle...she said it was cool and I stupidly trusted her (she was fairly drunk) and didn't check.... She poured the contents over my head and burnt my scalp...I screamed...turns out she had boiled the kettle and left it cool for 5 minutes... I thought she had added cold water or something to it...so my scalp was all red... Including my big bald patch...by the time I got dressed and returned to my crush..I was so unsexy and in agony... A few days later the skin on my head started peeling.. so I had a bald patch that I was trying to cover...as well as a peeling head that resembles very bad dandruff..

I never did run into that guy again 😂

MsTSwift · 13/02/2021 08:05

While pregnant I threw my own handbag into a lake. I was talking to some old friends gesticulating and sort of swung my arm and let go and it dropped into the serpentine. Everything was in there - phone,purse, Oyster card, keys.

Tombero · 13/02/2021 08:17

As a child I played Tarzan and swung from the curtains. My parents had to get a plasterer round to fix the wall.

Also, similar to the Brexit mistake I spent a while mishearing Taoiseach and wondering why they kept talking about a tea-shop on the news.

JemimaRacktool · 13/02/2021 08:23

@Moonflower12

I was trying to get stuck flapjack out of a Pyrex dish, with a very sharp paring knife, with the Mound of Venus part of my hand in front of the point of the knife. Literally as I thought,' This is really stupid' the knife slipped and plunged deep in my hand, with the point right through to the other side.

Your 'Mound of Venus' isn't a part of your hand : ) : )

Original poster

whatsnewpussycat777 · 13/02/2021 08:23

I haven't laughed so much in ages - thanks guys 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:

PlinkPlink · 13/02/2021 08:25

Shaved my arms when I was a teen. Didnt have very good control back then so I ended up slicing a decent inch of flesh off my wrist which took ages to heal.

Christmas Day. Partners parents come over so the pressure is on. Strained bread sauce, flavour infused milk straight into the sink because I was so tired.

Been over zealous with the cheese grating and ended up grating a huge chunk of finger tip. Still got the scar.

H202 · 13/02/2021 08:26

sneakysnoopysniper

My childhood ended that day. 😂 A tad melodramatic!

Chicchicchicchiclana · 13/02/2021 08:27

I think maybe bottleofvodka wins the thread!