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Original poster

What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

675 replies

whatsnewpussycat777 · 12/02/2021 19:12

Me Blush

I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door.

No fucker one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach.

What an idiot. 😢

Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?!

Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. certainly not neat

OP posts:
pumpingRSI · 13/02/2021 08:33

Built a big heavy wardrobe from flat pack in my bedroom in a flat I'd just moved into on my own. Built it in front of bedroom
door ready to slide it into place. Didn't slide. Couldn't get out. Had to ring my dad who was c. 50 miles away to bust into the flat and get me out.

Handsanitizer · 13/02/2021 08:37

Grabbed the wrong small clear bottle out of the bathroom that the Polish cleaning lady had helpfully lined up. No glasses on. Ended up sharing my 'hand sanitiser' with the pregnant lady next to me....funny that it wouldn't absorb/evaporate. We both read the bottle at the same time. Lube. Yup I just lubed up a pregnant lady at a toddler group.

cherryolives · 13/02/2021 08:46

so I'm really hoping you know your mount from your mound and your hand from your nether regions 😂😂

Well they do say some people don't know their arse from their elbow

Mummymug · 13/02/2021 08:51

Messing around after work one day I grabbed a couple of little picture holders we sold. They were on a spring attached to a suction pad. I promptly stuck them on my forehead like a couple of antenna. Thought it was hilarious and got a few laughs.
Unfortunately when I eventually removed them the suction had given me two fabulous hickeys right on my forehead.
Early 00's fashion dictated I had a few bandanas in my possession so I used them as a disguise. Looking like a wanna be gangsta, I have never been so self aware in lectures!

butterpuffed · 13/02/2021 08:52

I was in a rush to get into a shop before it closed . It already had but I didn't realise and crashed into the closed glass door . Large bump and bruise on forehead and nose. My pride was hurt too .

Cam77 · 13/02/2021 08:53

My partner was looking out at our garden through the French doors in our living room. I then caught her trying to “zoom in” on the contents of some hanging baskets by putting her fingers on the door glass and doing the swipe out and enlarge thing with her fingers.

Moonflower12 · 13/02/2021 08:55

@Frequentlymisunderstood

Oh my goodness! Just realised- that would have 100x worse! Especially as I had to go to Minor Injuries! Blush

Moonflower12 · 13/02/2021 09:06

@Fiona2020
It bloody hurts, doesn't it? More on the pulling out than the going in!

BlowDryRat · 13/02/2021 09:11

@bellver888

used to go upstairs on the bus coming back from school and dangle upside down like a bat over the stairs on that ledge thing

bus stopped so abruptly mid dangle and i ended up doing the sickest backflip ever and landing on the stairs on my left knee, broke my thigh bone and dislocated my knee cap so the fucking bus driver had to pull over and phone an ambulance as i was chalk white and sweaty, screaming in pain, never been so mortified and even to this day i don’t know why i was so hellbent on dangling!

worst thing was I was year 9 and the bus was full of year 10&11 boys that I was trying to impress!

I just laughed so hard I cried and oinked. Sounds painful though.

A bit outing if any of my friends and family are reading but... As a young teenager I was annoyed to find that DBro had finished the Rice Krispies. I tried to make my own by putting a bowl of dry rice in the microwave, on the logic that it would be just like popcorn. It was not. Tongue of flame leapt up from the super-heated grains and the microwave was irreparable.

AIMD · 13/02/2021 09:14

@Cam77

My partner was looking out at our garden through the French doors in our living room. I then caught her trying to “zoom in” on the contents of some hanging baskets by putting her fingers on the door glass and doing the swipe out and enlarge thing with her fingers.
What?!!! Ha ha!

I once noticed I’d parked my car too far from the curb and push my hand against it as if I could gently nudge my car closer to the curb by hand. Dunno why....when clearly you can’t just gently nudge cars parked up with their hand break on.

ThisTooShallBeFantastic · 13/02/2021 09:18

Wintry weather, getting dark. XH threw a stick in the raging, flooding, cold river for the dog. She fetched it but couldn’t get back to the bank. He jumps in the river to rescue her. I jump in the river to rescue him. Three DC left on the riverbank, screaming. Dog calmly lets herself drift down to a safe place and gets out, DC grab her and they go back to the car. XH and I follow - eventually - squelching, deeply ashamed. I’d always told the DC never, ever to enter the river to help the dog. The first and only time the dog needed help - yup, in we leap without a second thought. Mortifying.

Velvian · 13/02/2021 09:19

Twice, I have bitten my finger when it snuck inside a baguette. Grin it hurts a lot.

I have also fully brushed my teeth with Savlon while staying at my parents'. I was thinking, "Dad's toothpaste is disgusting"

Kotbullar · 13/02/2021 09:21

When I was 14 boy dared me to take an E on the bus to school.
I stupidly did except it wasn't an E. It turned out it was a sleeping pill. I fell asleep in science no one could wake me, the boy thought I was dying and confessed.
The school rang my Dad who carried me out of school to much hilarity. I eventually woke to a world of trouble.

In the summer when I was 15 I was hanging around on a bench with my friend, my parents were away and she'd been staying at mine. A car of men in their twenties pulled up and chatted for a bit then asked if we wanted to go to a city two hours away. We said yes and hopped in.
We went to a flat and got off our faces with them, they took us clubbing then drove us home.
We had a great time but it dawned on us the next day that it could have been the worst decision we'd ever made.

Last year I bought a julienne peeler and decided to run my thumb over it as it didn't look sharp. It was and perfectly julienned my thumb.

potatopot · 13/02/2021 09:24

I didn't notice that a bus had come to the end of its route (the route had shortened and changed). The driver didn't see me and proceeded to drive off to a depot. It was a double-decker so I went downstairs, sat down in a prominent position and hoped he would see me - I didn't want to startle him and make him crash as he was going really fast on a dual carriageway type road.

He eventually saw me and was furious, dumped me out absolutely miles from where I needed to be and I spent a couple of hours walking to where I could find a tube (it was when the Olympics site was being built in Stratford, so no maps were accurate).

Kotbullar · 13/02/2021 09:25

My partner was looking out at our garden through the French doors in our living room. I then caught her trying to “zoom in” on the contents of some hanging baskets by putting her fingers on the door glass and doing the swipe out and enlarge thing with her fingers.

I tried to rewind a bloke who walked passed my window with my sky remote. He looked like someone I was in school with Grin

VinterKvinna · 13/02/2021 09:28

@SmidgenofaPigeon

I tripped on a high concrete curb, and I actually told myself NOT TO PUT MY HANDS OUT as I fell because once I broke my wrist and it was painful. So I just went down like a sack of spuds.

I broke two ribs. I can tell you that is HUGELY more painful than a broken wrist, and I probably wouldn’t have broken my wrist anyway I’d have just broken my fall Blush

The first thing the person who helped me said was ‘why the hell didn’t you put your hands out?!’

I have an image of you face planting and you gave me a giggle!!
Kotbullar · 13/02/2021 09:29

Also have twice got on completely the wrong train. The first time I was 17 and heading to Manchester, I ended up in Leighton Buzzard.

The second time I was supposed to be going home and ended up at a seaside resort an hours drive away I had my DC with me!

Bonitalazenia · 13/02/2021 09:31

I went rollerblading on the prom on a sunny afternoon after a few glasses of wine.... tripped over a pebble.. tried to save myself... I broke both my arms and couldnt wipe my own arse for 6 weeks...

Spacecudet · 13/02/2021 09:32

I'm loving this thread. At work the caretaker had lifted a cover off a drain. I walked across the room reading a book and one leg went down. Luckily only scraped and bruised my leg. Colleague was in the room, I leapt up and claimed I was fine. My leg really hurt and my pride was dented. I still have a scar on my knee.

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 13/02/2021 09:37

@stitchmaker85

I keep breaking plates by pre heating them up on the gas hob. Our kitchen is ridiculously cold and when the plates come out the cupboard they're like ice. About 5-10 seconds on the smallest gas ring takes the chill off them so the food doesn't go stone cold as soon as you dish up.

Twice now, I've forgotten and got distracted by something else needing to be done at dinner time and am rudely interrupted by the sound of a shattering plate.

Worst thing is I still do it Blush

We started putting them in the sink in an inch of hot water instead Smile
BlowDryRat · 13/02/2021 09:50

At work, I ran down the fancy atrium stairs while wearing high heels, caught my heel on a step and crashed down the stairs in a heap. Highly embarrassed, I assured my concerned colleagues that I was ok, while crying from the pain. Nothing was broken but I had an enormous bruise on my bum and a swollen ankle for a while.

Goodmum1234 · 13/02/2021 09:50

An older friend worked for Cosmopolitan magazine in London snd she offered me a place to stay and a summer shadowing her.
I said thanks but no thanks.
I was 18 ish and much preferred the thought of going out most nights with my mates in my home town.
I still wonder what could have been 😂

Beck30 · 13/02/2021 09:51

When I was a kid I had a battered old bike. The front mudguard had been getting increasing loose in the preceeding weeks. Whilst peddling down the road at speed I noticed it was now hanging off by one screw and reached down to jam it in place - came off in my hand. Wondered if it would snap if I put it through the spokes. It didn't. Fat lip and squashed nose ensued.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 13/02/2021 09:52

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel

Stapled my finger to see if it hurt.
God, yes, I did that the same day I stapled my school uniform tunic to my best friend's.
Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 13/02/2021 09:53

@Motnight

Drunk. Got in a car outside the train station. Told the driver to take me home, about 7 miles away. Driver insisted that he wasn't a taxi driver. I insisted that he was. He drove me home. It was many years ago and he had to rely on an A - Z. He had literally just dropped his parents off at the station when I got in the car.
I am helpless with laughter! Thank you so much for that!