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Original poster

Stuff you think must happen to other people - but can't risk asking?

999 replies

IMissFrance · 03/02/2021 11:21

Anyone else have stuff happen to you that must happen to others.

But you can't really ask because what if they say "NO! How weird!" And then you can never talk to that person again. Wink

So I'm bringing it to the anonymity of Mumsnet.

I'd love to hear other peoples. And will start off.

  • whenever I wash my hair in the shower (I have long hair) loose hairs wash down my back and end up in my bum crack. End of my shower I have to check there's no hair left.

I can't be alone in this grossness! (Or can I)

OP posts:
Khyberpassing · 04/02/2021 02:29

@Bobbitybobbins
yes, I do this! I think it is a primal thing, like checking my armpit smell - I notice if I am ill, things smell ‘wrong’ to me but if I am healthy, I quite like my own scents...well it is not unpleasant. Grin

Khyberpassing · 04/02/2021 02:35

Yes to most of these! Not to poo hooking, anus tags or vag collecting bathwater though.

Ones not yet mentioned:

Sweaty vag chair marks - if it’s a warm day and I sit on a plastic chair, when I stand up there can be a triangular evaporation mark right under where my vag was. Try to cover it with a handbag or something...

If my clitoris is touched in a particular way, the soles of my feet burn so hot, it is really rather painful. Once that happens, my chances of reaching orgasm get much lower.

I can only orgasm lying on my back with my legs bent at knees (as opposed to lying flat). Standing up, no way.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/02/2021 03:09

Bum in hair crack - no, because I don't wash my hair standing up, I have to bend over (it's quite long) - this in itself might be weird! Grin

I didn't poo in labour either time - both were induced but my uterus contractions induce bowel contractions well ahead of time, so I cleared everything out in the loo- plus I get nausea to the point of vomiting so don't eat anything to create more.
With DS1, my waters broke down the loo while I was there - was a massive "Whoomph!" and the bowl was filled with bloody liquid - the whoomph was so bad, I thought maybe I'd dropped the baby in there too but no. He didn't come out for another few hours.

I always check the tissue after blowing my nose, for colour and for blood. I have quite fragile nasal blood vessels so need to know if I've made them bleed so I can be more careful.

Eye bogeys is what we call the crusty/gooey bits in the eyes - every morning they're there. My dad used to call them sleepydicks (No idea why).

The deep stabbing butt pain - I wonder if this might be thrush. I have had it a few times and it's awful - but then when I was bf'ing DS2, I got it in one boob too. Nothing visually obvious, just this deep stabbing pain in my boob that came and went, not even just when feeding but on and off through the day. DS2 had no oral thrush either.
Went to the doc, she said it was probably thrush inside the boob and it cleared up in 2 days flat with antifungal meds.

PeggyHill · 04/02/2021 03:25

I haven't pooed during either of my births, but for some reason have managed to piss all over either a midwife or a doctor at some point during both of them. Everyone talks about the poos but never mentions the wee... So I'm glad to see other people on here have also weed. I thought I was the only one lol.

Fanny farts during doggy style is universal. I refuse to believe anyone who says that doesn't happen.

NameChangedForThisPostx · 04/02/2021 03:29

Since I was a young teenager, paddling in shallow cold water (stream or sea) brings on the sensation of an orgasm. I literally have to stand still and concentrate on knees not buckling, and am sure everyone on the beach around me can tell.
I’m now wondering, having read others up thread mentioning about the tense legs, whether it’s related. Only happens in less than ankle deep water, deeper than that is fine and has to be very cold.
(Only ever told DH this)
Please let me not be the only one. Are we all in the shallows watching our kids playing while secretly getting off?

janeymacaronie · 04/02/2021 03:32

Not sure if the link posted correctly but I always thought the stream of unintentional spit was called a "gleek"

en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/gleek#Verb

PeggyHill · 04/02/2021 03:34

@NameChangedForThisPostx

Since I was a young teenager, paddling in shallow cold water (stream or sea) brings on the sensation of an orgasm. I literally have to stand still and concentrate on knees not buckling, and am sure everyone on the beach around me can tell. I’m now wondering, having read others up thread mentioning about the tense legs, whether it’s related. Only happens in less than ankle deep water, deeper than that is fine and has to be very cold. (Only ever told DH this) Please let me not be the only one. Are we all in the shallows watching our kids playing while secretly getting off?
I have not experienced this but it sounds pretty great.
NameChangedForThisPostx · 04/02/2021 03:45

@peggyhill it can be great at the right moment, but also pretty embarrassing at the wrong one 😳

Furrybutts · 04/02/2021 03:54

Chienloup I get this when I eat chips or cornflakes. No other foods, and I have been allergy and intolerance tested too.

wirldsgonemad · 04/02/2021 03:59

Chienloup, I think you have a hiatus hernia!

Furrybutts · 04/02/2021 04:03

Theluckiest I get the post orgasm thing too, I can't wee for ages afterwards.

Also, the best solo orgasms I have are when I have a full bladder.

Furrybutts · 04/02/2021 04:04

wirldsgonemad
Is that the case if it's only certain foods?

Geppili · 04/02/2021 04:49

Arse spiders 🤣🤣🤣

MyDcAreMarvel · 04/02/2021 05:00

@1sttimemumtobe2021 I have given birth seven times and pooed myself once. It was birth number 4.

ManicDreamPixie · 04/02/2021 06:24

[quote TellingBone]That reminds me. I get the urge to go when I go into a bookshop or library, or when I'm settling down to concentrate on something.

And recently I found out that it's a thing - Mariko Aoki phenomenon.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariko_Aoki_phenomenon[/quote]
I get this! I used to joke with DP about my “library syndrome”. I thought it was either to do with squatting down to get at books on low shelves, or some weird psychological thing.
Yy to soo many of these !

RandomGirl · 04/02/2021 06:59

@MojoMoon yes to the knee bubble! Horrible feeling!

ThenCatoJumpedOut · 04/02/2021 07:30

The crumbly bits in the eye in the morning are the “sand” from the “Sandman” who comes and puts sleepy sand in your eyes so you fall asleep at night.

Does the sandman exist in English folklore? I have only ever heard him mentioned in a Metallica song Grin

Anyway, that’s in the morning you have to rub the “sand” out of your eyes

Stopsniffing · 04/02/2021 07:35

Great thread... yes to a lot of these, it’s nice to know other people have the same and I’m not abnormal! I remember apologising profusely over and over again for the labour poo poo. The midwives didn’t bat an eyelid, they just whisk it away promptly.
Not so much of a gross thing, but I wondered if anyone else get short sharp stabby headaches? Like Javelin Arse but in your head. Don’t last any more than a couple of seconds. And if I’ve woken/been woken up, and I’m still tired, the whites of my eyes are quite pink.

Cottagepieandpeas · 04/02/2021 07:41

@HeidiHaughton

I replay conversations, some going back YEARS, with myself, rephrasing what I'd say and how I'd say it and how confident I'd be so as to come out on top of a discussion and put the other person in their place.
That sound like a positive thing to so @HeidiHaughton

I go over and over those sort of conversations just cringing with embarrassment.

thissemicharmedlife · 04/02/2021 07:45

pooed in labour - I always watch 'Call the Midwife' fairly whimsically and wish I had been given an enema as standard, although current thinking is actually that they do more harm than good.

I sometimes think this. It’s good they don’t insist on it anymore but it seems to have gone from you HAVE to have one to it’s not even an option even if you requested it.

torquewench · 04/02/2021 08:01

Ive just checked whilst in the shower and confirm that im also in the arse crack long hair club 😊

Chienloup · 04/02/2021 08:45

@wirldsgonemad

Chienloup, I think you have a hiatus hernia!
Whaaat? Seriously? It only happens with rice?
TellingBone · 04/02/2021 08:49

@tinylittleyou

Also social awkwardness- when someone is in the way of what you want at the supermarket so you just pretend you’re looking for something else, when you ask about the price of something but it’s way too expensive but you make a thing out of still looking interested and considering
Ha ha the 'too expensive' thing. Your mind is saying, 'What? Fuck that!' and your body language is saying, 'Hmmm, yes, I quite like it but I'll carry on looking to see if there's anything better'.
forgottochangemynamewoops · 04/02/2021 08:54

I might have pooed during, labour no idea! An epidural and 48 hours of labour later I couldn't care less what came out unless it was a baby Grin

HadEnoughOfBears · 04/02/2021 08:55

@ThenCatoJumpedOut

The crumbly bits in the eye in the morning are the “sand” from the “Sandman” who comes and puts sleepy sand in your eyes so you fall asleep at night.

Does the sandman exist in English folklore? I have only ever heard him mentioned in a Metallica song Grin

Anyway, that’s in the morning you have to rub the “sand” out of your eyes

Definitely exists in Scottish folklore!