I bought a white coat in the sales to look like Olivia Pope, but I actually resemble a middle aged taekwando instructor

[DollyMixtureLulus]

Oh god now I'm remembering the black flared shift dress, that I thought looked like a classic 50s style. It was cold in my office so I layered a white shirt under it.

A colleague asked if I'd joined the Amish.

Love this thread 😀

I too succumbed to a padded coat. Mine was long and bright red. I looked like a walking post box!

I bought a white coat with a furry hood. In hindsight it was very similar to the ones East 17 wore.

The first time I wore it to the pub, a group of lads started singing “Stay Another Day”😩

Lol at IKEA super fan

IKEA super fan!! 😂. Brilliant
Some of these are ace. I'm the same with me in my head versus reality. I also look like a turtle so my sympathies to you !

@JaneJeffer

I once bought a beret thinking I'd look chic and rive gauche, but I looked like the world's oldest Brownie. I looked like Sir Thomas More in mine.

When I was 13/14 I used to sing in the church choir, and we wore black robes (like academic gowns) with white under-sleeves and a sort of pointy black beret cap thing. The vicar kindly told me I reminded him of Thomas Cromwell

Best thread in ages. Too many great posts to pick one out, they're all great with the obvious exception, who is clearly desperate for attention, even if it's negative, like a bored toddler.

I like light grey tops. I often buy myself a new one. Then as soon as I start eating and once again spill something tomato-flavoured on my chest, I remember what happened to the last one. White garments are even worse. Cackhanded slobs like me are better off sticking to dark colours.

Thank you for a laugh OP, your thread title gave me such a clear image . Olivia Pope is the only one that can pull off the coat.

at Ikea super fan. Glad it's not just me unintentionally matching the shop.

If you missed it upthread, I'm the one who matched the supermarket toilets.

@NovemberR I would so be you.....

My middle age bladder is struggling to hold in my morning coffee. Loving these ladies. Some of your descriptions are so funny.

I bought a gorgeous cream tracksuit for a holiday once. I know what I am like so even had white wine on the airplane....my bf at the time had red and spilt it all over me!! I had to check into a 5* hotel looking like a mess - and obviously the tracksuit was ruined forever. We didn't last and also I never bought cream again.....

My Quality Street outfit 🙄

Well mine isn’t from middle age but from when I was a teen and the whole jungle chic look was in all the magazines. First holiday abroad and I bought a sage green belted multi pocket jacket thing that was supposed to look like I was on safari.
Oh dear rather chunky pale teen I just looked like I had been on work experience at an animal rescue and my family kept asking when feeding time was. It had shoulder pads too.
My body has never ever suited any passing fashion or moment I am still waiting.

IKEA superfan has finished me off!

@500BusStops I work in a school and wore a lovely yellow top with a blue cardi, (it looked much better than it sounds) and my head teacher joked at as I arrived “welcome to IKEA” in a fake Swedish-chef-from-the-muppets accent. Never worn it together since! 😂

@MrsReacher85

I feel your pain OP, I frequently buy things imagining they will turn into a tall willowy person by some form of witchcraft. I never seem to remember that I’m a pear shape with tiny legs until I have them on!

I’m the same! When I think of trying to get fit and see tall willowy people, I imagine I’ll end up like them, wearing tight long trousers, emphasising my now long legs and long body.... even though I am short and ...dare I say it ...a bit round....

Oh this thread has cheered me up.

My poor mum once spent a fortune on a beautiful wool coat from Jaeger. It was brown wool and the front had a sort of Cape fastening that you threw over your shoulder to close it. The first time she wore it I started whistling the theme tune from The Good The Bad and The Ugly. She never wore the coat again. I still feel awful about it 24 years later.

@MLMsuperfan

Why should I be silenced? The 'joke' is at the expense of older people. It's harmful.

I know this poster has been annoying people but the misguided, po faced moralising has just made this thread even funnier for me!

My blind spot is dungarees. I know they make me look childish and tubby but I fall for them every few years regardless as I forget I'm not 6'.

@StarsonaString Me too! I've bought dungarees on several occasions - in a sort of triumph of hope over experience kind of way. I aspire to look casually boho, but in reality it's much more painter & decorator...

Great title made me laugh. Her skin colour suits all the white clothing and that is no way a racist remark, I love her colouring. A white coat or anything else white would be wrecked on the first outing, I just can't wear it and I'm that horrible pinky white skin.

Purplethrow.
Brave choice. Thanks for sharing.

@MLMsuperfan

No I won't move along. Sorry. You move on.

You seriously need to lighten up

I also have a penchant for a black polo neck jumper. Let's gloss over the fact I have a chubby face and look like R2D2 in anything high necked. I wore one to work with black trousers and so did my (male) boss. We looked like rejects from the auditions for a milk tray advert

@NovemberR

I'm embarrassed to admit to this, because actually most of your fashion faux pas sound edgy, expensive and cool - and mine is far from that. I blame the strain of this year and the lack of places to shop, but just before Christmas I bought some red woolly leggings with white spots (like falling snow) on them. In Lidl. (Essential shops only open). I vaguely thought I had a red sweater at home. They would be cosy, comfy, Christmassy cheery.

And I would look like the advert model eating Lindor chocolate in a Swiss log cabin.

My sweater finished at the waist! And the leggings were so thin (and stretched) you could see my massive pants through them. I looked like a solidly built toddler who'd been dressed by their father. A father who'd forgotten their bottom half and just shoved a pair of tights on them.
My adult DD pissed herself and kept saying but I don't understand why you didn't know they would look shit?

She doesn't understand that in my head I'm genuinely surprised by my mirror...

I'm dying

I work with teenagers in a private alternative provision setting, so a very casual environment, and some quite, erm, blunt kids.

I once turned up to work in blue denim dungarees with a green sweatshirt underneath. Walked into the classroom to a chorus of. “It’s Luigi!”

Cheeky buggers

🤣🤣🤣 at Luigi!