I bought a white coat in the sales to look like Olivia Pope, but I actually resemble a middle aged taekwando instructor

[DollyMixtureLulus]

@lovablequalities - tell me about it - have ordered stuff on line - without reading the small print "model is 6ft 3 and a size 6" ( I paraphrase - but you get my point) I am 5ft 4 and a much larger size & by the way I shall not be wearing these clothes whilst posing on a beach in the caribbean , I shall just be tripping around where I actually live. But I fall for it more often than I should.

But turtles are cute aren't they ?

Oh op I feel your pain

I've had many disappointments of this type.

In my head I'm a willowy, hippy boho type person who can pull off long floaty clothes, "ethnic" jewellery and flip flops...

...in reality I'm a 5'2" dumpy middle aged "auld wifey" who lives in the west of Scotland where such outfits wouldn't cope with the constant wind and rain! I'd freeze too! 

It needs the subtitle this is what it will look like on you, Janet next to it.

I think it would be very interesting to see what would happen with fashion sales if this actually happened. Yes some styles and colours will instantly become unsellable but I suspect others would become more popular.

And it's not just older women such advice could be good for. I'm incredibly thankful social media indeed the internet wasn't really around when I was making my fashion faux pas back in the 80's and 90's as a teen and 20 something, I made some horrific choices!

Dd is not so lucky and I fear will look back on the contour make up, the waist length hair and oversized hoodies with horror when she's my age! She has a fantastic figure and beautiful skin so why she insists on "hiding" these I don't know.

I fell victim to androgynous styling, shoulder pads, neon tights, piano ties and yuppie braces among others but I still flattered my then slim figure. I only wish straighteners were a thing then (naturally curly hair but curly in the wrong way for the 80's)

Didn’t think anyone on this forum knew about Olivia Pope !

I've just finished watching it all again as it just recently dropped back on prime, I'm sure there's plenty of fans on here

We're all gladiators in secret

To hell with secret! I'm chariot racing tomorrow 

I wish he would tell me like it is

Gain a teenage dd!

One of my boho attempts caused mine to comment:

"It'd look lovely if you gained around 8 inches in height" thanks dd!

Or the red trilby that promoted the comment "you look like an extra from a bad noir movie remake"

@lovablequalities I too cannot wear chunky knits which is a bummer living in a cold country I do layers instead

On a serious note I do wish plus size clothes were modelled by ACTUALLY plus sized models not just those "technically" plus sized but who don't have bingo wings or "6 months pregnant" bellies!

@MLMsuperfan

What's wrong with being middle aged? Or a martial arts instructor?

Well there's also nothing wrong with being a fifteen year old schoolboy but I wouldn't aspire to buy an outfit that makes me look like one.

I love the thread title OP, it's made my morning! Sorry the coat didn't work out.

@JaneJeffer

I once bought a beret thinking I'd look chic and rive gauche, but I looked like the world's oldest Brownie. I looked like Sir Thomas More in mine.

I managed to go completely "off look" whilst being totally naked. When pregant with a friend had some gorgeous photos taken in the nude. She was a large woman and looked phenomenal, arty, classy, sexy and motherly all in one. A mutual friend who was studying photography offered to do some for me for free when I was about 8months gone. So I gave it a go. A week later she sent me the photos and I could'nt speak with laughter. Shot after shot of my big, white bum, cellulite and stretch marks somehow highlighted. Weird veined boobs. It was a brilliant lesson in you get what you pay for. She sent me the negatives (how old am I) just to make sure no one else found them. I keep the photos at the bottom of my sock drawer and have a look very couple of years. My expression is trying to look thoughtful, sensual and deep are hilarious. It is a brilliant deterrent to keep the teenagers from nicking all my socks.

I am still ROFL at hissing Sid

I’ve got a black jumpsuit with a shirt-style top and slightly loose trousers. I wore it to work once and got told by a colleague that I looked like the Viet Cong.

@MLMsuperfan you’ll be pleased to hear that I wear it regardless

@Rainbowandscarlett

I once bought a beige trench coat as glamour magazine kept banging on about it being a ‘classic wardrobe staple’

I looked like inspector gadget

I look like Columbo in mine.

Burst out laughing at "Miss Havisham"😂😂😂
I'm loving this discussion. Thank you ladies for your wonderful sense of humour and being so frank with your amazing fashion faux pas. I'm finding it so reassuring to know I'm not the only one.
Every Christmas eve a friend and I go to the midnight service in matching festive outfits. One year we decided on Christmas onesies. She looked great, I looked like a tellytubby!!!

Seems ageist to me. Don't find it as thigh slappingly hilarious as others.

Well @MLMsuperfan you can find offense in just about everything if you look hard enough. You can be offended if you wish. I, and I'm sure plenty of other middle aged women on this thread, choose not to be and to take the thread title in the way it was so very clearly intended. But then, I'm not offended by my own middle aged status, I'm quite happy with it and have no desire to try to derail a very light-hearted thread.

I wore a very expensive silk spotty dress to a chic city wedding. Outside the chapel the tiniest flowergirl pointed and shreaked with joy " Mummy , Mummy ,Mummy, it's ,it's , its .....Mr Tumble ".

Seeming photos of me wearing it inthe bar , I looked like a miss havisham who thought ‘fuck this ‘ and went out on a bender

@NovemberR

I'm embarrassed to admit to this, because actually most of your fashion faux pas sound edgy, expensive and cool - and mine is far from that. I blame the strain of this year and the lack of places to shop, but just before Christmas I bought some red woolly leggings with white spots (like falling snow) on them. In Lidl. (Essential shops only open). I vaguely thought I had a red sweater at home. They would be cosy, comfy, Christmassy cheery.

And I would look like the advert model eating Lindor chocolate in a Swiss log cabin.

My sweater finished at the waist! And the leggings were so thin (and stretched) you could see my massive pants through them. I looked like a solidly built toddler who'd been dressed by their father. A father who'd forgotten their bottom half and just shoved a pair of tights on them.
My adult DD pissed herself and kept saying but I don't understand why you didn't know they would look shit?

She doesn't understand that in my head I'm genuinely surprised by my mirror...

Loving this thread! (Other than the dementor!)

This one had properly tickled me, however!

@loveablequalities ** I look like a chunky turtle.

I wore a jumper dress from Whitestuff inxe thinking I looked really good. One of the mums at the school gate congratulated me on my pregnancy.

Absolutely howling at this thread, thank you!

As an added extra bonus I particularly enjoyed @wellthatsunusual and @partyatthepalace trying to explain how humour works to the old misery who clearly will never understand the concept.

@NovemberR

This thread is the best laugh I've had in ages.

I am such a glutton for punishment- I bought a velvet ‘lounge suit’ with a frill around the yoke. The beautiful young woman in the advert looked cozy and stylish- I looked like the Quality Street that no one likes.

@Marieas. I just got a look from my dog after laughing so much at your world eldest brownie comment

@Purplethrow

I am such a glutton for punishment- I bought a velvet ‘lounge suit’ with a frill around the yoke. The beautiful young woman in the advert looked cozy and stylish- I looked like the Quality Street that no one likes.

I am just picturing it! Thanks for giving me a smile this morning.

My sweater finished at the waist! And the leggings were so thin (and stretched) you could see my massive pants through them. I looked like a solidly built toddler who'd been dressed by their father. A father who'd forgotten their bottom half and just shoved a pair of tights on them.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm laughing at this one so much because my father actually did dress me like this while my mum was in hospital after having my sister. I have the photo evidence taken by my auntie. Red jumper, green tights. It was a strong look, even in 1970.

NovemberR They made me laugh a lot- partly because my husband did dress my solidly built toddler in tights yesterday and I spent ages trying to explain they are not substitute trousers. I can picture your outfit well.

My biggest fashion disaster was when I was young and flares were trendy ish. I cut apart a good pair of jeans and put bright orange inserts in. My needlework was shit and I looked like a clown.

I once bought a hoodie aged 40 something, mainly for the gym.
STBX referred to it as my ASBO hoodie.

So I wore it at every opportunity!

@bluecheesefan

I had a big white padded winter coat once. I looked like the Michelin Man in it.

I had one too, I looked like a big white slug.

A few years ago, I bought a summer skirt from M&S because a customer was wearing it who looked great in it, and who must have previously bought it.
It is unlike me, but I dont think I have worn it. In fairness it is a nice skirt, but is not my usual colour, doesnt go with anything else I have, and I can never find the right time for it.

I once went to IKEA wearing blue jeans and a yellow jumper. I looked like I was some sort of super fan.