Do we have a MN Christmas threads full house yet?

[CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind]

Another thread has made me realise there are so many threads/posts about Christmas stresses and angst, and the same things seem to pop up every year. Every single year! I think we need cards and a competition to see who wins Full House first...

DH went out for his works Christmas party and has not come home yet and it's 7am - where is he?

They always go to events too. Weird people.

The event usually being one connected to the oh-so-outing hobby that their DH has. I can now reveal that said hobby is actually Morris Dancing.

I so want to start smug "How are you enjoying your last minute stress. I've been done for ages😁" after newspapers nearby went with "People crying in Tesco" type of headlines yesterday😂

Crying in Tescos dearie me....they must have mental health problems or dementia depending on their age.

the BIG day'

This phrase too. The only day I've referred to as the big day was my wedding day. It makes me cackle when I see it about Christmas.

I haven't seen many church-related threads (perhaps because a frequent MN thing is "I don't want my child indoctrinated into believing in a fairy tale"), but here are some church MN froths that could happen:

AIBU about those dangerous Christingle candles?? My DDs ponytail was in danger from the boy walking behind her, or she could poke her eye on one of those cocktail sticks. Did they do a risk assessment? They should have used LED candles.

We didn't sing O Come All Ye Faithful on Christmas morning. Christmas has been ruined!

My DS is devastated because he wasn't chosen to put an animal in the crib.

The organist was wearing a Christmas jumper during Advent; and not only that, it was a Santa Claus one. Has he no shame?! Christmas is about the birth of Christ, not a fictional character in red! He also played "Jingle Bells" just after the Christingle service.

Midnight Mass didn't start at midnight; it was a few minutes late, delaying my kids' bedtime even more. (In real life in about 1993, when watches which bleeped on the hour were fashionable, this delay was conspicuous by a chorus of watches bleeping in the silence beforehand.)

Should I make the children wait until after church on Christmas Day before they open their presents? Is this unkind if the other children at church ask them what they got?

@francienolan I'm going to panic now if you think I call it the big day, there's a reason I put it in quotation marks. The big day to me is Christmas eveeeeee I'm unbelievably childish about the run up to Christmas because it's a very important day.

*KatherineJaneway doesn't really matter, but HOW many sprouts should there be?

Any more than half a sprout each would add to the obesity crisis

Love this thread. I got told off on the booze thread last night and called sad and lonely. I was actually happy as Larry with my Aldi champers (grin)

OP AIBU to be dreading preparing Christmas dinner for the first time? I'm finding it daunting anyway but guests include a vegetarian, a fruitarian and somebody I suspect might be Jewish but don't like to ask.

Competitive. Mumsnetters immediately leap in to say there's nothing to it and they'll be serving an amuse-bouche of caviar, twenty different main courses, five puddings and a selection of cheeses crafted by artisans from yak milk They crafted their hand made chocolates back in October. Tinkly laugh.

Competitive Dieters then jump in to say they will be doing all the above but will only be permitting themselves a couple of sprouts and a lick of one of the chocolates because there's an obesity crisis.

Concerned mumsnetters will suggest random recipes knitted out of tofu and grass.

Chilled Mumsnetters will tell her it's just a roast dinner with crackers and they can all just eat whatever's on the table.

One random poster will slag off the OP with a degree of vitriol that appears entirely uncalled for, then slink back to say sorry, wrong thread.

One person will enquire Is that you Sharon?

Might have missed it on this thread but we did have the can I leave Christmas lights on / a candle burning.

@KatherineJaneway There was a big thread recently about leaving an Advent candle burning; I haven't seen one about lights on the tree this year.

I've thought of some more! I haven't seen them this year, but they've definitely been in previous years:

AIBU to actually put coal/potatoes in my child's stocking? Where do you buy coal these days, or will a lump of barbecue fuel do? (Lots of replies saying that some parents do put a potato in with the gifts, and occasionally cunning children ask Father Christmas for coal.)

Political correctness gone mad about not upsetting non-Christians, by saying things like "Happy holidays", "Winterval", "School winter celebration concert" instead of "Christmas Concert", etc.

May I just say, off the back of this thread, I have bought Christmas crackers with a bingo game in them?

(I'm girding my loins for my AIBU to be upset my teenagers resent the forced jollity of a family game after dinner when they want to snapchat their mates? I'll give you all insider advance warning on this thread so you can prepare your replies like

I feel sorry for your DC.
My not so D M did this and now we are NC
Why are your teens allowed Snapchat?
You've raised entitled spoilt brats
Why aren't they washing up? I bet your DH isn't washing up either is he? LTB
Stop being such a martyr
I never played games with my DC and they are all at Oxbridge. One is a doctor already and he is only 13

And I really don't want this to be a mean thread about specific/individual posts but these I can't resist but I have seen recent SO MUCH TO DO posts including the terribly important, essential yet tasking jobs of going to the hairdressers and sourcing a fruit bowl.

Sourcing a fucking fruit bowl!

Dare I say I myself have tipped all the fruit out of my fruit bowl and filled it with Quality Street and Roses (yes, YABU to buy Cadburys I hear you say) in honour of the festive season and because I only own one big bowl.

My going to the hairdressers was getting the clippers out and buying hair putty for my Mohican. I'm exhausted, quite frankly. I don't even think I have the strength to lift my arms to arrange my hair.

OP yes to the fruit bowl full of chocs

{runs off to tip fruit in brown bin, we all know it ends up there anyway it's only for show}

Might have missed it on this thread but we did have the can I leave Christmas lights on / a candle burning.

Already done. Generally it's a no to leave lights on

I use our fruit bowl to make the trifle in. We don't have that much fresh fruit in usually and it mainly lives in the fridge.

Chester (drawers)

Fucking gold 🤣

This is one of the funniest threads I've read on here in years!

I had to laugh yesterday at the advice to open the present and throw it straight onto the fire.

Probably not the best advice ever unless someone has given you an actual log

On Wednesday we're getting engaged (this bit is actually true) so am I AIBU to expect him not to shove the ring up the turkey's parsons nose (arse) as a surprise to moi because I do not want an arse tainted ring and I think if this transpires he will get said ring up his own parsons nose and Christmas will be ruined so he can gtf on Santas sleigh and ring a ding ding off into the deep blue yonder!
One really has to be discerning about these matters you know!

I've now learnt from a thread on here that people have a system for wrapping paper designs and actually care about what order the presents are opened in .

I've just used the paper I bought in the sale last year and would have thought that the average DC faced with a pile of presents would probably just go for whichever looked most interesting/exciting to them first?

I can imagine their DMs grabbing presents off them if they picked up the 'wrong' gift to open to ensure that presents aren't opened out of turn.

Is there, at the very least, a stunt pineapple in your bowl of chocs OP?

Have we had the 'I'm annoyed that DH/Parents/Children/wider family don't help with Christmas preparations and when they do they don't do it exactly how I want. Not only that but they don't AIBU to think they should be more grateful for (insert lots of self imposed jobs or details)?"

@DoloresTheDonkey

Oh yes, apologies if it wasn't clear that I'm not making fun of you! It was obvious why it was in quotations!

Incidentally Christmas Eve is my favorite too!

I myself have tipped all the fruit out of my fruit bowl and filled it with Quality Street and Roses

I use our fruit bowl to make the trifle in.

You read for the snark/humour and nonetheless pick up helpful tips...Mumsnet in a (seasonal) nutshell.