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Do we have a MN Christmas threads full house yet?

307 replies

CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 20/12/2019 10:33

Another thread has made me realise there are so many threads/posts about Christmas stresses and angst, and the same things seem to pop up every year. Every single year! I think we need cards and a competition to see who wins Full House first...

DH went out for his works Christmas party and has not come home yet and it's 7am - where is he?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 22/12/2019 16:50

"AIBU to think MIL tried to starve me on Christmas day? She only gave me 8 roast potatoes"

"YANBU. My MIL would be dead to me if she did that. I normally have at least 12 and snaffle 6 while I'm dishing up"

CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 22/12/2019 17:00

This is why we have an obesity problem in the U.K.

OP posts:
CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 22/12/2019 17:00
Wink
OP posts:
FruitcakeOfHate · 22/12/2019 17:11

crisis, Close, it's always 'obesity crisis, because 'people' just don't know what normal portion sizes look like anymore, everyone in the 70s was slim, rationing was great, no one is fat in France or Italy, it's all this snacking, de menz needs more food . . .

elephantoverthehill · 22/12/2019 17:36

I don't think 'I've nobody to share Christmas with this year' thread has been mentioned yet. Replies are generally 'Go and help with a soup kitchen'. Not so easy - Dm was refused as they thought she was too old. I am actually doing it this year.

iklboodolphrednosedreindeer · 22/12/2019 17:52

How dare you not invite everyone you share even the remotest strand of DNA with to Christmas dinner? They're faaaaaaaaamily! Angry

LinguaQuirma · 22/12/2019 17:57

AIBU to take my Christmas decorations down on Christmas Eve? I put them up on September 1st.

AIBU not to answer the door? Dripfeed: I've ordered 20 Amazon parcels and an Ocado delivery.

MaButterface · 22/12/2019 18:00

Ha! I thought of the same things. I've been on MN for a couple of years I think and on the evening of the 25th and morning of 26th the AIBU is always filled with the same theme.

Also insert 'I'm crying my eyes out in the spare room' for a very minor problem. Sometimes I wonder how people go through life.

CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 22/12/2019 18:21

I actually have my own foot stamping AIBU which I was going to post but then realised I would look like a knob

AIBU that DH has found and opened a bottle of lager from The Christmas Treats Cupboard? I have been stocking the cupboard since September and was planning to open it to the public on Monday when everyone finishes work. AIBU to be annoyed DH has taken it upon himself to start early when he knows the
opening of the cupboard is A Special Moment I Look Forward To All Year?

I will then drip feed in that I myself have already secretly opened and eaten a tin of Danish butter biscuits from The Cupboard, but I'm allowed because obviously I had The Mental Load of planning and sourcing buying the treats!

Also, I didn't realise DH knew I had eaten said biscuits, if I did realise I wouldn't have moaned about the lager, so he is doubly unreasonable for making me look even more of a tit.

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 22/12/2019 18:29

The how dare somebody buy my child more than one gift or something bigger than a postage stamp.

Or the audacity of someone asking what gift they would like so as not to waste money on something unwanted.

CrocodileFrock · 22/12/2019 18:50

There's usually the thread about the awful gift from MIL:

MIL bought me a 3-pack of size 22 granny knickers from Aldi. I'm a size 6 and usually have to keep my own tiny thongs attached with the help of duct tape. Even worse, these parachute-sized monstrosities are a lurid shade of green with orange roses on them. I suspect they've been re-gifted as one pair has a suspicious stain on the gusset. AIBU to sit in my room and weep until MIL has gone?

Enviromentalist brigade: You ungrateful wretch! Don't you know that starving children slaved away over those garments? And now they're destined to become landfill! Weave a belt from naturally sourced fibres and keep them on with that.

Sympathetic MNers: Jump out of the spare room's window and use your new knickers to para-glide to freedom. Leave DH to deal with MIL!

The permanently offended: How DARE you use the word "gusset" without posting a trigger warning??! Don't you know how much I despise that word??

[thread derails into a discussion about whether "gusset" or "moist" is the worst word an OP could use, and that at least this OP didn't use both of those words together.]

Drowning in the sherry brigade: You cow! Don't you know how lucky you are to even have a MIL? Mine is dead, you evil ingrate!

The new environmentalists: Harrumph! Well at least she didn't buy you any plastic tat.

Everyone else: You poor bugger. Open a bottle of something nice, get yourself on to e-bay, and order something truly hideous for her for next year.

[thread ends with several links to amusing taxidermy fails and anything covered in glitter that looks as though it may have been made by a 4yr-old mid-fever]

Alsohuman · 22/12/2019 18:56

I love this thread so much. It definitely has a place in Classics.

PortiaCastis · 22/12/2019 19:24

Now look I'm not known for it but today I am speechless feckin speechless I tell you after an unannounced visit from MIL (who else) the old biddy had the audacity to knock on my door with presents for Hermione and Chester (drawers), thing is this has made me so sad and actually ruined my Christmas because she said she had only spent £5000 on Chessy and a paltry £4945 on Hermione !!!! So I put on my big girls knickers and threw the witch out
AIBU to think she could have spent at least £10,000 on each child? I may actually LTB over his stingy old bat of a Mother so will update this thread in the New Year
Merry Xmas
Xmas Grin

itsboiledeggsagain · 22/12/2019 19:36

How about:

I have got so much to do, I am so stressed. I need to clean out all the cupboards and hoover the skirting boards, change the sheets, stock up with food for next week, do 10 hours wrapping and host a lunch. My life is so hard.

AllergicToAMop · 22/12/2019 19:49

I am speechless feckin speechless I tell you after an unannounced visit from MIL (who else) the old biddy had the audacity to knock on my door with presents

Liar. No one on MN opens the door. Don't you know

HopeItComesWithBatteries · 22/12/2019 19:57

I am LOVIiNG this thread, haven't laughed so much in ages. 💕💕

Weekday28 · 22/12/2019 20:02

This is absolute GOLD.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 22/12/2019 20:02

OMG, I ordered everything we are going to eat for Christmas dinner for 40 people to be delivered at 9pm on Christmas Eve and they didn't get here till 1am and half the stuff was missing or substituted! We live 50 miles from the nearest shop. It never occurred to me this might happen. WIBU?

PlomBear · 22/12/2019 20:06

The one on Christmas Eve where all the villagers in some quaint Sussex village gather for a nativity and a safari dinner. The sheep have fairy lights and everyone cooks a hearty meal of Cumberland sauce and a star shaped pavlova.

GOD BLESS US, EVERYONE.

halocompanach · 22/12/2019 20:09

Watch this space for the guest who arrives on xmas day and announces she/he is now a vegetarian thread.

theoriginalmadambee · 22/12/2019 20:12

Just saw a new one (to me atleast)

'is it okay to let dh and kids go to PILs alone on Christmas day, so I can clean the carpets?'

FFS 🎄

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 22/12/2019 20:12

Given how many people a MN chicken can feed for months, what do we reckon we can stretch a MN turkey too Grin

Assuming of course it was fetched by hand and wasn’t delivered as the door may not be answered.

CrocodileFrock · 22/12/2019 20:53

*Given how many people a MN chicken can feed for months, what do we reckon we can stretch a MN turkey too grin

Assuming of course it was fetched by hand and wasn’t delivered as the door may not be answered*

I hope it was ethically sourced!

Note: People on MN never just buy things. They source them.

Alsohuman · 22/12/2019 21:29

They always go to events too. Weird people.

DoloresTheDonkey · 22/12/2019 21:36

Oh dear,I've just seen an 'if you're hosting how much do you spend thread'. One reply said to budget £75 a head for non drinkers and £100 for drinkers.

Sorry but I must be an utterly miserly shit because there's no way I'm spending close to £1000 on food and drink for one fucking day!

I think this must make house somewhere on a Christmas bingo sheet Xmas Grin