Do we have a MN Christmas threads full house yet?

[CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind]

Another thread has made me realise there are so many threads/posts about Christmas stresses and angst, and the same things seem to pop up every year. Every single year! I think we need cards and a competition to see who wins Full House first...

DH went out for his works Christmas party and has not come home yet and it's 7am - where is he?

Has there been a 'SIL wants to charge us each £30 for Christmas dinner' thread yet?

The cash for Christmas dinner threads. 'I charge everyone 30 quid a head' and the CFer guests who take all the leftovers or bring a tin of Carlsberg and drink like fish.

Hamperhate is a new contender for 2019. With bonus rows about whether food banks want chestnut picallily or not. Never seen this thread before, but we've had two already. Here's to new traditions

I LOVE the getting charged for xmas ones.

This is hilarious

"bonus rows about whether food banks want chestnut picallily or not" pmsl

The lovely Christmas Playmobil thread: always a joy

This thread has made me laugh. I've been ill for the last two weeks, and we've also had to cancel lots of things. raise a to my fellow sufferers. Cheers!

Have we had the duel nativity play ones yet? OMG someone’s toddler was shouting all through the nativity and I missed hearing my four year old lisping their one line versus OMG the school banned younger siblings so I missed seeing my four year old picking their nose while dressed in a camel onesie .

Ooh I thought of another couple! - the supermarket delivery slot and the substitutions threads.
The “All the slots are gone” and “the Margot-like despair that the supermarket haven’t delivered the correct jeroboam of champagne and Christmas had been ruined”.

Oh and don't forget, I sent DH to do the Christmas food shop and he came home with a ham and three apples. 95% of MNers say LTB, the useless twat and 5% say well what did you expect, men don't see these things like we do, I write mine a list in words of one syllable ha ha ha ha

Fuck OFF

We currently have the piles of plastic tat v one wooden toy, a book and an orange thread. What kind of parent weeds out the undesirable presents and takes them to the charity shop without the kids even seeing them? Talk about passive aggressive control freaks.

Oooh this is very cathartic. It's actually quite good as it reduces the temptation to just write fuck OFF on all the petty Christmas shit threads.

🎼 and on the third day of Christmas my DH gave to me, a shit Christmas present, fucked up mad in laws and a raw yet burnt turkey 🎼

Did the MIL bring the plastic tat in a bin bag? Bonus points if it came from a charity shop and double bonus points if it smells of smoke!

Yes - and bonus points have been scored. 😀

Haven't you missed the "what do you put in your Christmas Eve box"?

The Smugs and environmental don't have them
The just a little somethings..just have new matching pjs, marshmallows and hot chocolate, mug, video to snuggle together , board game , and sometimes some crafty stuff just to help while the hours away

When someone innocently posts that they'd like to do something nice and festive for their 3yo ...................................

Is this a THING ?
Buying Christmas Eve Hampers , December 1st Hampers ?

What's wrong with just having a present on the 25th? Y'know actual Christmas .
What next ? Boxing Day Hampers ?
It's all just commercialism gone mad , greedy , grasping , plastic tat .

And the obsession with Hot Fecking Chocolate ?

Beauty advent calendars ? Just more plastic waste . Things you don't need . How old are you ? 4?

And that creepy little fecker The Elf On The Shelf .
Grassing the DC up to FC . And I don't have the time or energy to arrange him every bloody night .

WHO THINKS OF THIS SHIT ?

And - I loved the one who said if you;ve got money to burn, buy presents for children who don't have anything
Erm.... I do . And it;s my money , I earn it , I'll spend it how I like

Actually , I DO the hampers on Dec 1st . My DC love them, they're 240 months and 210 months old .
Do I care what others think ?
Bovvered ? Not bovvered .

raw yet burnt turkey

Ah you wouldn't have this worry if you were vegan ( Head tilt , tinkly little laugh etc)
If old turkey neck was running about the yard undead , it wouldn't matter if he was raw

The elf, oh my god the elf! Thread after thread of the enthusiastic with their North Pole breakfasts and elves getting up to all sorts of hilarious japes, versus the elf haters with their plastic tat Christmas lasts too long awful American import rants.

240 months old

And all these chocolate advent calendar threads. My DC don't actually like chocolate, they genuinely prefer fruit. They've been exposed to different tastes since they were little and they genuinely would prefer a crunchy apple to palm oil sickly chocolate. Even at parties.

PS That is a total lie btw My DC (approx 228 months) barely go near fruit and drink too much vodka at parties, fuck the apples.

SmuggyMcKnobson you’ll be hearing from my lawyer

I get a bit nostalgic over the phrase “cheap nasty plastic” which now seems to have been completely taken over by the phrase “plastic tat”

The posters who moan about MIL buying smoky charity shop shit always have to completely over egg how virtuous they are to negate the anti charity shop post. For example “we buy 100% only second hand Joules, are all vegan, walk and cycle everywhere and donate more to food banks than we consume ourselves. Our house is 0% plastic and I litter pick 40 hours a week and wear jumpers instead of putting heating on. I also donate 80% of my income to charity so please don’t think I’m not doing my bit. The problem is MIL buys second hand Next and all the clothes are pink filly shit whereas DD only likes blue and green dungarees with dinosaurs on obviously”

Oh and another thing, when people are married to total fucking tools who can't be arsed choosing a nice present for them, the classic MN advice...

Take his credit card and buy yourself something nice

What about the multiple "AIBU to insist that Santa is frightfully horrid, common and American 😱, we shall only refer Father Christmas (Pere Noel at a push), and we should rebuild Hadrian's Wall to keep out the disgusting riffraff who maintain that Santa is a perfectly reasonable, established traditional figure".

I got my bingo card ready a couple of weeks ago, when I posted on a thread about the futility of people exchanging money and vouchers as Christmas gifts:

Plus when we get to Christmas we'll have all the 'DH didn’t get me anything, only spent £5, 50, 500 on me, spent a fortune on things I don't like when we can barely pay the bills, spent more on MIL than his own wife, bought my present from the garage on the way home from his works do, didn't get his family anything and now MIL hates me, left everything to me and didn't like what I'd bought everyone, MIL bought DH a fancy watch but got me a tea towel and oven gloves set whinging and angst and yet some people still think that exchanging presents with other adults is a nice thing to do at Christmas

You forgot “I’m three days pregnant, can I eat brussel sprouts?”