DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

[NewSchmooo]

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

They are watching stainless steel porn on QVC

PMSL@Piffle

How can he love me? How

Apparently its not always been stainless steel. That came about by accident like he said in the email but he decided that it after. It used to be other stuff from the kitchen. My neighbour got us a really good Kenwood toaster last year. I don't usually have Kenwood but it WAS very good. It did a lot of slice at once. She bought it because her child spilled plant water in our previous one and it wouldn't work.

And then, a few days later THAT wouln't work either. The kenwood one. Turns out HE, that PERVERT, had liked the look of it too. So much so that he ejaculated into it!

THATS why it wouldn't work!

I just can't conceive of this!

I cooked waffles in afterwards. They weren't properly cooked but I ATE them.

We threw it away because HE said the element was corroded.

No kidding!!!

Katy - I washed it with Fairy.

i would seriously worry about his health if it did that to your kenwood toaster

I know what's going on here....it's a product placement thing....are you being paid by the people from Lakeland to make us all subconsciously think their products are so damn sexy that people w* with them!??!?

Run him a bath and chuck the new toaster in.

he was proablly thinking that if newschmoo didnt turn him on kenwood

Please do not let him near the new Lakeland Catalogue, that Cuisinart griddle grill is so aesthetically scrummy, it nearly had my ejaculating...
And let me (and my every whining DP) tell you...
It ain't no ordinary griddle

Oh god not the Kenwood, this man has no shame

Message withdrawn

was it a shiny toaster? does he just like to look at his cum-face?

there are people who take photos of their shiny kitchen appliances for ebay and if you look very carefully you can see their naked reflection in the pic. maybe it's just a voyeuristic/narcissistic thing.

Boo - it worked for me. I've just spent £2,650!

did the kenwood concieve of it?

Thanks weebs (getting friendly now!!..)

Message withdrawn

PMSL to the point of histeria RW!!!!

It seems the stainless steel was just the tip of the iceberg. The blender too. (Although that was only a Bosch). And the sandwich toaster.

This isn't right. I will have to divorce him. He told me he is glad it is all out in the open but I screamed at him and ran away to the office again.

sorry but PMSL at this thread.. DP suggests you wrap yourself in kitchen foil and hide in the kitchen cupboard.

(I think you just stole her punchline)

That is actually totally gross.

Also, what if he'd electrocuted himself? Liquid and toasters just don't go together.

You're going to have to get really naff kitchen implemements from now on. Or spunk(!) a fortune on 2 sets of good everything.

and I am fearing for the innocence of her Brabantia Bin
Here is hoping (fingers toes everything) that she chose brushed steel

The blender!!

Next time make sure it is plugged in!

Bet you'll have to have custody battle over who gets the kitchen appliances and the Lakeland gear now...