Aibu to ask for the most "WTF" complaints

[HouseholdPlantMurderer]

You have ever received?

I will start. Not the most ridiculous one, but in my top 10.
Woman demanding that I check in the back for a certain colour of a dress she wanted otherwise she will have me fired. After 5 minutes of her moaning she can't get it anywhere and me trying to explain that it's because it's not even made in the colour she wants, I went. I needed a toilet anyway 🙈

A customer ordered spicy italian sub. It's on a picture. It has a description there, he watched me to put pepperoni and salami in. Came back few minutes later FUMING that it's not vegetarian.... Sent a complaint to a head office about it too.

Springydaff, Blutopia

We is all fick sometimes . . . .

There's loads of times I've misread a post, or misunderstood it because my mental emphasis has been placed on a different word to that of the writer, totally changing the meaning.

That's the problem with this sort of written communication - usually typed in a hurry, often full of autocucumber corrections and frequently reliant on the ESP of the reader.

And, of course, I'm a sarky bugger at the best of times

I work in healthcare. I once had a patient complain to me that I called him in for him appointment 2mins early. He couldn’t understand why when he tried to book the appointment the 09:50 was full yet I called him in at 09:58.

I explained I was running ahead of schedule and he was welcome to wait in the waiting room for 2 minutes until his appointment time. 🙄

Working in a charity shop woman complained we don't have many clothes in her size and that were discriminating against overweight people. Yes,because we deliberately reject/throw away bigger sizes just for the fun of it. We put out what we get.

Same charity shop,a bunch of people complaining we hadn't put their stuff out for sale and that we're probably stealing it all and they'll complain to head office,Police etc. Mhm...just what I always wanted a stripper pole/makini/used lube or toys/ manky knickers / household "rubbish" / books that we said every single time we don't sale anymore but we will take them(had someone pick them up every few weeks for other branches)/whatever random stuff that they considered should be out there because they brought it in.

Not a complaint but a bunch of mums at school demanded to breathalyse the coach driver before driving off with their PFB's on a school trip.

No, but just as nobody wants a fresh turkey on the 27th, there is a limited market for party food that's left in the supermarket on the 1st.

But surely there’s a halfway point between overstocked and sold out by 3pm? It shouldn’t be that difficult for a major supermarket to plan ahead. If the worst that happens is a few pots of marked down homous the next day, I’d say that’s better than letting down customers.

the customer who sent their gammon back because it ‘tastes like big bacon’

I nearly replied to the American upthread who asked what gammon is, that it's big bacon (but then I remembered what American bacon is like so decided that mightn't help.).

Plus, surely the Americans could have asked before they ordered it.

Customer ordered a salad niçoise but sent it back because it had, “too much tuna”

Another customer complained that their drink serving was “too small” (it was the company standard serving) and demanded to speak to the manager. Of course the manager agreed with me but ‘rectified the problem’ by adding 3 extra ice cubes.

Ooo, this one is GOLD! 4 customers asked to split the bill. It wasn’t possible. So I asked them to work out amongst themselves how much they would like to pay and give me the combined total. Long story short, I provide the change and one woman comes back absolutely fuming! She begins to call me incompetent and demands to speak to the manager because I gave her the “incorrect” change. I didn’t. I gave the change to her friend, who essentially stole her £2.30 and proceeded to blame me. The CF then filed a complaint against me due to her shitty friend!!!

But the shop wouldn’t have been open the next day. And, if in Scotland, it might not have been open on the 2nd either.

All the supermarkets by me open on New Year’s Day. And as for ‘it might have been in Scotland’, it also might not have been. In fact, it’s far more likely it wasn’t. And in any case, NYE is huge in Scotland - surely if there’s anywhere companies need to be prepared, it’s there?

Ooo, this one is GOLD! 4 customers asked to split the bill. It wasn’t possible.

Why not?

They're essentially asking for 4 separate bills.
The waiter won't know or probably remember the exact things each one had, so they'd have to jot down everyone's orders again. Go to the till, void the whole original order, then proceed to load 4 separate new orders on the till. Print out all the receipts etc.....OR the people in question could do what normal people do and just split it between themselves or one pays and takes the receipt to figure out who owes what later

Oh my goodness, loads ,(worked in a nursery, DWP, children's home and now probation)

In nursery, a mum kicking off because her 3yr old had lost her hair clips in the garden and she kicked off such a fuss that staff stayed half hour searching for the bloody things

DWP - a man had threatened to kill an assessor so understandably they would'nt go to his home. He was housebound and it was all my fault apparently.

Claimant phoned about ESA. Explained he had the wrong phone number and to call X. He ranted a full 10mkns and shouted that were all the government so why can't I stop being lazy and help him

Claimant wanting an advance payment to pay fine or he's going to jail. Explained not possible. Told I am personally sending him to prison.

Claimant rang shouting over money. Explained the appeal process, gave phone numbers and tips ,(much more than colleagues did) , very helpful, she then screamed she couldn't pay her rent and when I grew up dear I'd understand

Man in all seriousness quite baffled and angry as to why Theresa may, amber Rudd, the head of Welsh police, Jeremy Corbyn and the queen, hadnt got back to him regarding his complaint over his money being stopped. Not as though the PM has other things to do such as Brexit, managing terrorists, police cuts etc is it?

Madness

I was in Paris recently, sat outside a bar next to some American tourists. A woman joins them and complains that the walking tour she had just been on didn't take her to any shops. FFS, she was in the city of art, culture and history and she wanted bloody shops.

Some if these are mad!

Reading a holiday cottage guest book is illuminating as to how intolerant people are.

We stayed in a beautiful isolated cottage in Wales. Lo and behold a previous guest had written that it was really boring there with nothing to do. Someone at a Northumbrian cottage complained that there was a picture of the owner's sons on the hall wall. Another moaned that there was no cupcake baking equipment. Who bakes on a week's holiday?!

Some people just love moaning.

@StockTakeFucks

Not a complaint but a bunch of mums at school demanded to breathalyse the coach driver before driving off with their PFB's on a school trip.

Wish we had done this before our school bus driver drove off with a coach full of kids whilst sozzled.

I once worked in a photo lab, we had a customer complain that her photos were all 'too blue' and she wanted them reprinted properly... she had been whale watching and it was all sea and sky!

and the supermarket @ xmas/ny - there used to be CFs who would come in Xmas eve and camp by the fresh turkeys waiting for reductions to happen... one year the fresh manager had enough of them, so refused to knock them down and donated any left over turkeys to a local charity! there were some turkey free tables that xmas because the CFs wouldn't pay full price!

A supermarket will consider it good business practice to have sold out of something rather than have any leftovers or stock to reduce - and they can only go on previous years sales which fluctuate quite wildly - its all a guessing game so worth being prepared or risk losing out!

A supermarket will consider it good business practice to have sold out of something rather than have any leftovers or stock to reduce

Otherwise, they get (rightly) castigated for food waste, and the prices are liable to rise.

@MNHQ - can this please go in classics?

I remembered what American bacon is like

American so-called bacon, like American so-called chocolate, is VILE!

I had a phonecall once...in my phone,I answered and was met by a barrage of abuse about how I'd effing stolen their phone and they wanted it back.

I explained I hadn't and this was my phone

No it isn't it's mine, who did you get it off

Explained I got it from the mobile shop and they must have the wrong number

No you didn't you've stolen it, you better give it back ....blah blah....

They eventually mentioned what their phone number was and I explained that wasn't the number they had called and hung up.

Yes, Classics please

American so-called bacon, like American so-called chocolate, is VILE!

American bacon, in a sandwich with lettuce and sliced tomato, is food of the gods. Some American mass market chocolate is pretty ordinary, but there are some excellent upmarket brands like Ghirardelli as well.

It's largely a matter of what you're used to.

Oh wow.

In a family friendly pub chain (DH and I were without the children for once)...a woman complained her chips were too hot. The employee took them back and bought out a new plate of food. She ate it without complaint. Yeah they were the same chips, different plate!!! The employee whispered it to me as she walked past us!

@Fatbutt

Reminds me of the Peppa Pig song...

I woke up this morning
And all I could see
Was the sea and the sky...