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Next door are having a massive fight about google

363 replies

GingerFrogs · 28/09/2018 19:50

Screaming and shouting and swearing.

Something about "your not even fucking signed into google"

Walls are really thin.

What's the strangest fight you've heard?

OP posts:
UnlawfulBananaPeeler · 02/10/2018 10:26

PlinkPlink cricketmum84 THANKYOU
It’s still a point of contention now. One of his friends suggested to melt the cheese on the toast and then but beans on it ....
Maybe I should LTB Grin

JoeElliotsMullet · 02/10/2018 11:14

I am crying at all the animals not being able to mingle at parties Grin

megletthesecond · 02/10/2018 19:39

People close to my house may have just heard me bellow at 11yr old DS who was loading the dishwasher, claiming he couldn't get anything else in and monumentally faffing around at the same time me >> "THERE IS ALWAYS SPACE FOR A COLANDER!!". (There was).

Thighofrelief · 02/10/2018 20:08

I wonder if there is a collective term for a mingle of animals? A tower of giraffes, a parliament of owls, a mingle of....eels.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 03/10/2018 06:16

I read Dh the one about the husband being furious about his wife suddenly liking guacamole last night. He said, “I don’t blame him, I’m pretty furious about the marmite thing.”

Which was surprising, because firstly he’s a very amiable man, and secondly I’ve always loved marmite. He then said (very accusingly), “When we first got together you gave me instructions on how to spread marmite that specifically said that it should be applied to the bread like chaos theory - randomly and falling where it may. Then a few months ago, you said that it needed an even coating. I’m still furious.”

He didn’t sound furious, but then I responded, “You still need an even spread, Gerald! I was merely explaining that it’s not like jam! An even spread for marmite means that I still need the right ratio of marmite to butter to toast, in each mouthful, but unlike jam - where I would need a thin, even scraping - it is fine for the marmite to be scraped in uneven fashion across the toast.”

“Uneven is not chaos, Martha! You completely moved the goalposts!”

“It was merely a poetic illustration for how it should be done!”

“No! You changed it!”

“Hang on, did you say you’ve been furious about this for months?!”

“It’s a righteous anger.”

And so on, and so forth. He’s right really. Chaos theory was never the perfect illustration, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth arguing Grin

JovialNickname · 03/10/2018 09:46

My most prolonged argument was with my sister over a single bed whilst visiting her at her university halls. It proceeded thusly: if you are staying with a relative in a single room so one of the two has to sleep on the floor, which is the preferred option? Having the bed but with no covers, or sleeping on the floor but wrapped in the duvet? Clearly floor but with duvet is preferable however my sis insists it is obviously the bed, as it's a bed and you can go to bed. We spent so long arguing about it that neither of us worked out that she should have just had the bed and I should have just had the floor and that it was in nobody's interest to come to an agreement in the first place

MarklahMarklah · 03/10/2018 13:20

When I was about 11, I had a massive argument with my mum about the name of a nearby road. I said it was 'Turle Road', but she insisted that it was 'Turtle Road'. It was a good 15 mins walk from where we lived, and before the days of mobile phones.
I got told off for shouting, being argumentative, and not conceding to my 'elders and betters'.Confused
About a week later, we passed the road which had caused all the conflict. I had been correct. I got a very grovelling apology, and extra sweets that week.

TheDogsMother · 03/10/2018 14:31

With ex H, a major row about the inclusion of parsnip in a beef stew. It ended with me hurling said parsnip across the room and locking myself in the bathroom. For the record, parsnip is a perfectly nice addition to beef stew.

cricketmum84 · 03/10/2018 14:52

@TheDogsMother I had a similar argument with my DH!! I was making beef stew and peeling carrots and parsnips to go in it. He walked into the kitchen and said "ugh don't be putting all that shit in it!". I threw a carrot at him and went and cried!

TheDogsMother · 03/10/2018 14:57

@cricketmum84 Yep ex-h came out with a similar kind of line. Who knew root vegetables were so emotive ? Grin

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 03/10/2018 20:24

@Joe and @Thighs

I still stand by it...animals don’t mingle around with snacks and cocktails at parties do they?! They unconsciously stand in a collective but they don’t mingle...it is something I can do that an animal can’t! I can feel my indignance at my dad laughing coming raging back to me Grin

Thighofrelief · 03/10/2018 22:46

Fuckyouchris I award you best in show. I laughed like a drain at Gerald being furious that you changed the marmite theorum on him. How could you Martha?

AlpacaPicnic · 03/10/2018 22:57

Fuckyouchris!
You do have the most loquacious discussions with Gerald!

PawneeToday · 03/10/2018 23:28

So many arguments about food - we had an epic disagreement one year in a French holiday home about peeling the shell from a boiled egg. I ended up throwing the (fucking) eggs on the floor and stomping about half a mile along a deserted dirt track in rural France, plotting my DP's demise until I decided it was too hot and went back to sit in silence for the rest of the week.

To this day he offers to show me how to peel an egg properly with a smirk on his face. I always make sure I give him the best, smoothest one to try to avoid providing fuel for his smart remarks. Prick.

Onwithsocks · 03/10/2018 23:42

Our worst argument was about the existence of a park. We live in the city I was brought up in. Husband doing up the house so takes stuff to the tip often. He said he’d take the kids with him to the tip and I said they should have a run round in the park after. He denied there was a (huge) park there. I was adamant. It escalated!
Since then he denies having the argument and enjoys the park with the kids 😡

SpoonBlender · 04/10/2018 00:10

FuckYouChris I'm pondering the quantum indeterminacy of marmite now.

Thighofrelief Telly fairy had me silently shaking for several minutes!

AviatorShades · 04/10/2018 00:38

I'm so loving this thread, particularly the ones like the penguin one..starts off slowly with a couple wondering how penguins recognise each other in a huddle, widens to include partners ,then escalates to include all the kids, and then suddenly! All Out WW3 GrinGrinGrin

More,please.Want moreGrin

echt · 04/10/2018 05:44

I haven't RT whole FT, but surely this has been nominated for MN Classics.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 04/10/2018 06:28

Everyone needs an occasional, ridiculous fracas

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 04/10/2018 06:29

SpoonBlender, don’t ponder too hard, it just ends up making Gerald righter. I should have known not to be so poetic about marmite. What we’re you thinking, Martha?!

W0rriedMum · 04/10/2018 06:36

My very old neighbours, who are terribly refined and speak with cut glass English accents, had a huge row that we heard from the garden.
She was screaming at him to turn up his hearing aid as he couldn't hear a word she said.
Then she berated him for giving up the sign language course she had arranged.
We couldn't hear his side of the row, until he boomed "PARDON?".

They generally get on very well, I think.

waterlego6064 · 04/10/2018 08:04

Many years ago, I was woken suddenly at 5am to the sounds of a row next door. It was difficult to hear what was being said, but the one line I heard clearly (from the man) was: ‘...and THEN, you wake me up at stupid-o’clock to tell me you’re going to have a wank!’

So bizarre. He moved out a few days later.

thighofrelief · 04/10/2018 09:17

Worriedmum i love that. Hearing aids have more than one use. My mum has worn one all her life and regularly turned us off when we were kids. I remember standing outside the bathroom flicking the light on and off to get her attention. She would shout. "whoever is on the other side of that door should disappear because I'm going to stab them" thank goodness I had siblings to deflect the blame.

thighofrelief · 04/10/2018 09:21

Also feel i should follow her example and take a weapon into the bathroom to defend my territory as we have one toilet inside the bathroom only, sigh. First purchase upon a lottery win will be an en-suite, I'd give up a toe or ear lobe for an en-suite.

Hoppinggreen · 04/10/2018 10:11

Me and DH still can’t mention sausages and beans on toast without arguing
Many years ago we were in the supermarket and he picked up a tin of beans and sausages. I asked why was he buying them, as in did he has a certain meal plan? He said no he just fancied them and I said ok.
A few days later while he was out I ate them on toast. He wondered where they had gone and had a huge go at me for eating them
NOT because he wanted them but because ( he claims) I had told him not to buy them because they were horrible so he was furious I had “lied” about liking them. This escalated into accusations of food snobbery (from him) and greed (from me) and involved lots of yelling
Over 10 years later DS loves them but I only give them to him when DH isn’t here so I don’t Trigger him

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