Next door are having a massive fight about google

[GingerFrogs]

Screaming and shouting and swearing.

Something about "your not even fucking signed into google"

Walls are really thin.

What's the strangest fight you've heard?

No, 1009 mm is just over one metre, which is the probable width of a garden gate.

Oh shit. See what you mean.
Scrap that.

Me and DP once had a fight over him laughing at me because I’m short. I am short and I was using a step to get something off a shelf in the kitchen.
I said he was mean to make fun of me all the time, he said I was being sensitive, I told him he has no idea about my feelings.
It escalated until I screamed go and marry a giant then. It ended rather quickly after that.

I also once cried because he put cheese in my beans rather than on my beans and I was just so disappointed in him

One of our biggest rows was about fish. DP said all tropical fish were freshwater fish. I disagreed, and said that you also got saltwater tropical fish. DP said "I think I know what I'm talking about as I used to have tropical fish as a kid and they were freshwater". I said "Yes, yours were freshwater, but that doesn't mean that tropical saltwater fish don't exist, what do you call fish in the tropical seas?!". "Marine fish". "Marine fish are all sea fish you tool! What about in the tropics?"

Turns out DP had no idea what the tropics/tropical actually meant, and I had to Google the photo that outlines the boundaries to show that within the tropics there existed both freshwater and saltwater, and therefore both freshwater and saltwater tropical fish...

Just yesterday, I said "I have to go to X", he replied "Why have you got to go so far?" And I said "I'm not, X is in our borough, one bus away", and he said "No it isn't, X is its own borough!" That one made me rage for some reason! He was so adamant and acted like I was completely dumb. Again, only solved by me googling.

Lots more swearing involved on both sides but best not repeated I think

This but is outing as I've mentioned the fish one before...

He also gets words wrong and I can't help but laugh sometimes and then feel so horrible about it. We've had "pufferfish are flamboyant" and yesterday he pronounced "vaccine" as "vay-kin" out of nowhere and it got me good

Once had a screeching row with an ex over who wrote Tales of the Unexpected. It was pre internet, so the only possible way to resolve it was ex going into the lift to get my copy of the book.
My neighbours probably recall me screeching. SEE! SEE! I FUCKING TOLD YOU IT WAS ROALD FUCKING DAHL. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR STEPHEN KING.
Not my finest moment.
He didn't speak to me for three days.

Thighofrelief Fully laughing my head off at the idea of your parents independently trashing areas of the house then snapping out of it and seeing the aftermath....!!

We had a right humdinger over an umbrella in the middle of the street. It was pissing it down, my husband didn't have an umbrella with him, so he bought a golf one for £3 saying it would also be useful to keep in the car. I don't know why, but I lost the plot and started shouting at him that he was selfish and materialistic. In the middle of the street, in front of his sister and b-i-l. I've since come to realise I was completely unreasonable and bonkers. I don't even know what came over me.

@OhDearGodLookAtThisMess

It's ok, Gate-gate has done my nut in as well. It's now lying abandoned in my hallway, all 1009 millimetres of the bloody thing.

@UnlawfulBananaPeeler

To be fair, I would cry over the cheese in the beans too... who does that?! Sick, sick, sick

😂

The beans thing is pretty unforgivable IMO. LTB 😂

Over 30 years ago but I well remember our first huge fight when DH insisted he could beat Martina Navratilova at tennis.

DH would be lucky to get his serve in 50% of the time when knocking a ball around a court in the local park. But apparently men are so fit and strong and sporty that virtually any man could beat virtually any woman at any sport

I got more and more infuriated and neither of us would back down. Older and wiser now I would have congratulated him on his prowess and paid any amount of money to Martina to come round and thrash him senseless

It's the build up that creates the lunacy really.

I had been asking XH if he would carry a TV downstairs for about a week. He then broke his toe and took to his bed for the week. I felt he looked suspiciously happy about the toe and I became a lunatic carrying the TV downstairs screaming at the top of my lungs "that's fucking right, you lie there you fucking whore. I'M JUST THE FUCKING TELLY FAIRY DON'T MIND ME"

Tbf the GP was worried about blood poisoning and had instructed him to keep his leg raised and drawn a line on him in felt tip. It was the smiling that broke me.

Highland - it's not too late, she'd probably do it for free if you explained it was in defence of her honour.

Highland, hope you're going to watch that nice new film Battle of the Sexes with your DH this weekend?

Ooh, just remembered another one!

The friend I had an argument with when he said it was Paul McCartney who wrote 'Lucy in the sky with diamonds', having been inspired by one of his children. It started out fairly genial.

Ended up with us nose to nose and me screeching 'check the fucking chords you wanker, it's so obviously Lennon, and McCartney didn't even have fucking children then'.

We haven't spoken since 1991.

My neighbours had a blazing row because he was hoovering and she wanted to drink her cup of tea peacefully so she threw her tea on the floor and told him to ‘fucking Hoover that up then you prick

She sounds like an abusive bitch.

I'm laughing so much at this thread my husband keeps asking me to read them out. We're now 'debating' how to pronounce taupe 🤔

Ubercorn - torp surely?

Apparently it's 'tope'.

tope, sweetie.

My friend ripped off his own pyjamas mid-row with him wife.

(I wasn't there I hasten to add)

his ffs

Fucking telly fairy has finished me off. 😂

Sheepsheep - the neighbours must have been scratching their heads wondering what on earth a telly fairy is