People keep having sex in my hedge...

[eurgh]

I guess it's more of a WWYD as I know I'm NBU but every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind. It's pretty brazen because there's no real cover to hide under!
Every few nights I'll be out sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I'll hear my hedge making groany sex noises. I'm so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people's sex noises!
So I guess more for fun, I ask you, what would you do?

Have to join in now that our concierge in Paris is telling everyone in the neighbourhood that she walked past our local brasserie yesterday evening and saw the proprietor 'kissing a woman's pussy'!!!

OH thinks there is nothing wrong with sex in public, let alone on the tabes on which lunch will be served today! Yuk.

Is it the hot weather that is causing all this in plein air sex?

How much would a fence on the outside of your hedge cost?
If it's dense enough to be a love nest for months god only knows what else is going on in there when you aren't in the garden.
this kind of thing

@GahWhatever I thought you had sent a link to something funny happening in a hedge and was a bit disappointed to find it was only a fence!!

@rozzzzzalmost35, yeah me too! Bit scared to look but I've got big girl knickers on!!

MNHQ PLEASE PUT THIS IN CLASSICS

This thread has been fantastic , crying with laughter while trying to work ( or at least make it look like I am working )

eurgh you deserve a award for this thread .

So disappointed that Gah hasn't posted a link to the sort of thing that might happen in a hedge

I too thought Gah was linking to something a bit fruity.
I'm disappointed how sensible it was

No Lorddenning, because you used the same username. I might have outed my self though! 😂

I wanna have sex in the bush
Come on let’s poke your butty...

Superheroes 😂

If Tash manages to conceive, would that make the child a hedgebaby?

I wonder if there are a lot of hedgebabies out there?

Bush baby?

With the bumfinger stuff it wouldn't be a vanilla hedge,hedge baby (dah da dum dum dum dah dah dum dum)

(Runs and hides as people groan)

Or a Beech Baby...

Beech baby 😂 it's hot enough for burning bushes today! Gah!

You're not Gaz's other woman are you Wetwashing?

Her: What the fuck is that
Him: Some perv is spying on us!
Her: Stop then!
Him: Go down here to the trees

"That will still be part of my garden"

Would of been my reply at that moment

Little update:
I didn't actually think I'd have any more to update but I've just learned some interesting factoids and it would be remiss of me to not share with you seeings as we've been on this sex journey together 😂

NDN OH just appeared at my door, he was so excited he could barely cope bless him. He said he woke up in the middle of the night all afluster because it had dawned on him in his sleep that his mate Paul works with Gaz.

So he called him this morning for a chat (gossip) and found out some interesting tidbits...

Tasha lives with Tony, they've been together 15 odd years or thereabouts.
Gaz does indeed live with his mum, I don't think in a carer way, just a never moved out way. Tasha and Gaz's eye locked across a crowded pub about a year ago (some artistic license incorporated here) and they've been outdoor shagging ever since. Gaz has been quite open with Paul about all this and said that Tasha tells the Mr (who works shifts) she's off to Pilates and by all accounts he keeps commending her on her commitment to getting fit. Which is actually very sad and I feel bad for Tony and kind of want to make him a cake.

And obvs I meant eyes not eye - they are not pirates. Although that would add a new dimension

It’s a very “short” Pilates class isn’t it. So they’ve been using your hedge for a year???
I think after that long they must have claimed “shaggers rights” to it by now!

I never knew that Pilates involved a finger up the bum.

I'm developing a small crush on NDN DH (and I'm confident he'd keep it clean).

Pilates makes sense... she's probably got a mat. Helpful with all the twigs.

My Pilates class lasts 45 mins plus travel time to get there. Does Gaz last that long.......sounds like a keeper!

Lol no he doesn't!! But Tasha's OH does shifts which would explain the every few nights...