To tell you about my first night with my son?

[BangPippleGo]

Ok awful use of AIBU so I apologise but just wanted to share

Bought home my long awaited, much loved adopted 12 month old baby boy yesterday!

He fell asleep in his cot at 7pm - usually sleeps all the way through to 7am but woke up at 3am. Could hear him on the baby monitor chatting away happily to himself (so no waking up confused or scared!). Eventually started to fuss so I went in and changed his nappy as it was soaks through, changed his pyjamas and bed sheets, but he wouldn't settle back in his cot so bought him back in with me and DH where he fell asleep curled up with me. At about 5am he was obviously dreaming of something funny as he was chuckling away in his sleep. We then got up about an hour ago and he is happily playing around with me and giving me cuddles after having his breakfast

I know it's early days and it's likely to get harder the next few days as he starts to realise he is missing his foster carer, but omg I am so happy and in love with my little chap.

So wonderful op. Congratulations on your beautiful son x

I'm... Not.. Crying
That's adorable. Congratulations

Congratulations OP. There's a long hard journey ahead, and I have high regard for anyone brave enough to embark on it.

I recommend it all the time, as do many adoptees, but Nancy Verrier's "the primal wound" is a must read for adopters, assuming you haven't read it already (it's very often recommended so it's likely you've already come across it!)

Without wanting to be goady, could I please ask other posters not to describe OP's son as a "lucky boy".
As an adoptee, I can only tell you that the lifelong trauma from adoption is severe, and can often lead to many serious issues. The single most damaging thing I was told when I was younger was that I was "lucky". You wouldn't say the same to a child whose whole family had just died. Losing all your genetic relatives in one fell swoop is traumatic.
Crying for a genetic mother that doesn't come is traumatic.
Trying to fit into another family who's mannerisms, interests and personality isn't quite in sync with yours is traumatic.
By calling him lucky, you are insinuating he should be grateful and feel blessed by, rather than harmed by, his abandonment.
Being called "lucky" stopped me feeling able to discuss this trauma with my adoptive parents which led to loads of issues.

There is nothing "lucky" about abandonment and potentially abuse.
It is pretty much the absolute worst start a blameless child can have in life, and the lifelong repercussions fall fast and heavy.
The whole thing is worsened by this societal view that the adoptee has been "lucky", not incredibly "unlucky". People don't understand the trauma; or overlook it.

Not to be depressing, I have known adoptees who have flourished. However, all of these have had parents who fundamentally recognised the severity of what they had suffered.

Completely agree tender - we are so very lucky to have him, but it's an extremely unfortunate set of circumstances that have led him to us. Although I understand people were just trying to be kind, it's still true.

Oh tender I'm so sorry for the experiences and loss you've had. I don't think (hope) that when people say lucky that's what they mean. I think it's meant as a way of communicating the happiness at the love between them. I'm sure it wasn't meant to invalidate, and I'm so sorry to hear it's caused so much heartache for you. Wishing you all the best

Hope you're still having lovely snuggles with your son OP

This is basically my life now please ignore my abnormally giant knees!

@bangpipplego reading back I sound a little militant! Apologies to all.
Just wanted to explain to people who obviously mean well that it often isn't the most tactful thing to say - of course OPs son isn't sat reading mumsnet, but as an older child hearing such things can be awful.
Sadly, adoptees grief is often overlooked. Thankfully, parents are more aware these days of the trauma involved from the offset, but unfortunately people with no experience of the adoption process tend to have a romanticised or naive impression of all it involves.

Shouldn't have jumped quite so bluntly down the necks of those who are well meaning though x

Ahhhhh he's so little! X

@BangPippleGo that little hand on your leg!! Too much.

He has a hand on me at all times, it actually melts my heart. He will be on the floor playing and every few minutes will come over just to touch me.

The past week and a half have been exhausting but my goodness worth every second. He is everything I ever wanted and a thousand times more.

Oh my god, and now I'm crying again

Awwwww his baby hand 😍

OP, this is the best thing I've read all week. Thank you for sharing

What a wonderful story, my adopted baby came to us on the 19/1 8 years ago. Congratulations, you have such a wonderful journey ahead

Oh, I am off crying again.
Completely wonderful

OP thanks for updating this beautiful thread !
Obviously I am crying again now but you sound so happy it's wonderful to read

So so lovely. Thank you for updating. The photo is sweetly tear-jerking!

Aw what a lovely post. I’m a little teary as well :)

Oh that wee hand!

Tender thank you for adding to this thread

Such a lovely thing to read I wish you all the happiness in the world

Oh snuggless!

How lovely. I'm crying now while putting my toddler to bed

Just beautiful!!!

Lovely thread, congratulations.

Such a sweet thread and THAT TINY HAND 😍

Enjoy it OP! You sound like you are doing amazing!