Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

[Swimminguphill]

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

*I haven't even got the expectation. I know this will end in tears:
Christopher Lemaire for Uniqlo

They keep selling out so the link my not work but basically they're ultra long, ultra wide leg cords and even they say 'best worn with heels'. I am 5'3 and only wear flats but I've been tracking them for weeks and I can't hold out any longer.*

Oh god. These are like clothing-fantasy crack to me. I wish I hadn't seen this.

How about a wee decision tree:

Should I Wear Exaggerated, Wide-Leg Trousers?

Are you Katherine Hepburn?

If no -then no
If yes-proceed with caution

Getting a bit paranoid about my Toast midi now though...I am quite tall though! I'll have to twist DH's arm to take some pics of me going about my normal business to check I don't look like a puffball.

Purple leggings. I looked like half of Barney the dinosaur.

I've just ordered those uniqlo corduroy trousers

I'm also face palming my forehead.

Oh to be young again. Saw a student tripping off to lectures this morning in a green velvet jacket, woolly hat and brown leggings. She was Buddy the Elf personified and she was loving it.

OMG those clown pants!

payment = pact

Ha! fellow Katharine Hepburn fantasists. They keep selling out and then coming back so we're obviously not the only ones.

Shall we share reviews (but not pics) when they arrive?

Even the model has had her identity hidden in the photos for the Uniqlo clown pants

Do you think they’re selling out and then coming back into stock as people (look in the mirror and come to their senses) return them?

Hush dungarees. I have never had so many people rushing to give me the priority seat on the train :(

I looked like 80s Kirstie Alley in look who's talking...

I am late 40s and categorically not pregnant.

I'm going to break into a fashion editors house one day and ram the evidence (jeans, jumpers, scruffs) in their face while shouting 'Is THIS classic? And THIS?'

Morris - I'm HOWLING!

Many many great and hilarious disappointments. My personal favourite:

I looked like a child had drawn me with blunt crayons.

Do you think they’re selling out and then coming back into stock as people (look in the mirror and come to their senses) return them?

Absolutely. I'm just praying I'll be one of them.

Beige a line Trench coat - expecting French chic ...
Reality - Ronnie barker in Open all Hours

I bougt this beautiful long floaty summery lace dress, planning to channel Pirde and Predjudice vibe.

Reality:quirkypurple.com/2013/02/19/crochet-toilet-roll-dolls/

sorry link quirkypurple.com/2013/02/19/crochet-toilet-roll-dolls/

Boden jade green corduroy trench coat. Bought off eBay, hoping for some middle ground between slummy mummy and office working chic. Corduroy so faded it looks like something one might donate to a scarecrow festival. Tempted to dye it but not quite brave enough.,

Also anything black. Black shoes - remind me of the old 90's kickers we used to wear to school; black trousers- school uniform; black tops/tee shirts/dresses- literally drain every bit of colour from my face and leave all my spots, blemishes and wrinkles emblazoned on a pale, chalk white circle of face. I envisage 'rock chic' or even just 'slimming' but no....,,

Emitting loud snorts here and alarming sleeping toddler

Green sweatshirt Aline dress. Expectation - slightly punky androgynous casual chic. Reality: A green lumpy jersey beanbag made in some kind of remedial day release arts class.

Literally every pair of strappy high heels I've ever owned. Expectation: Marilyn Monroe circa some like it hot. Reality: Betty boop's let herself go a bit hasn't she

Me in my Uniqlo wide legs.

Just you wait.

remedial day release art class

IM CRYING AT THIS!!

Just add Lego clip on hair!!

I nearly bought a frilly top today but moogle's triceratops image made me put it back (and laugh embarrassingly loudly in the store)

I love mnet 🤣😂

Got my colours done @ HOC and one of my best colours is apparently Emerald Green.

Immediately went out and purchased a dress in this colour, thinking it would bring out my skin tone and eyes and I'd look effortlessly fabulous.

I looked like a fucking giant lepracaun.

I still have that dress hanging in my wardrobe and every now and then I take it out and try it on, thinking maybe the effect will have changed. Nope. Its St Patricks Day fancy dress every single time.

Toss.