Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

[Swimminguphill]

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

I tried on a green velvet dress from New Look (I had briefly forgotten I’m hurtling into middle age). I looked like a toddler in a party dress.

[Sidge]

Proper LOLing at this thread!

I'm shite at Fashion. I have some shockers in my wardrobe.

DP bought me a beautiful White Company beige trench coat a few years ago. I was more Mimi Labonq from Allo Allo than Marlene Dietrich.

I recently bought some nice purple capri pant style trousers from Gap; classic, stretchy and versatile I thought. Wrong - they are just the wrong length and the hem the wrong width so I look like your Aunty Pauline from 1988.

I had a perm in the 80s wanting to look like Elizabeth Shue from Cocktail. I am blonde and petite and looked like this...

[Ecclesiastes]

Oh god. I was laughing along with this thread until i had a nasty flashback to the pale brown suede three quarter length coat from La Redoute that made me look like Arthur English in Are You Being Served.

[Ofthread]

A lot of Cheryl Cole's ensembles are reminiscent of Michael Jackson. She should come on this thread.

[longtompot]

Thankfully didn't buy, but when looking for maid of honour dresses for my best friends wedding years ago, I pictured myself looking all ethereal in the sequinned dress from Selfridges. I actually looked like Dawn French in a fairy ballet costume. It had a waistband, which I know do not suit me at all and I usually go for empire line dresses. Thankfully she saw sense and didnt buy it for me.

[hendricksyousay]

I bought these thinking I'd wear them with some black patent brogues a loose silk top and my all saints larger jacket.. it was going well until I caught sight of myself and I looked like this 😱😱

[Number51]

Expectation: effortless office chic with a pussybow blouse

Looking good - until I put on my stone-coloured beige trench...

Reality: Mrs Doyle

[KnitFastDieWarm]

The white boot cut jeans debacle of 2006. In fairness I was 20 and skinny at the time so they looked ok-ish. But what was I thinking?

More recently, a floor length rose gold ball gown (not my choice, I was a bridesmaid). It was beautiful in theory. In reality I looked like a large beige maggot wrapped in tinfoil.

The blonde messy bob of 2011. When I bothered to style it properly it actually did approach its glorious Debbie Harry circa 1981 potential. The rest of the time I looked like a maiden aunt at a late 1970s provincial wedding.

[Ratonastick]

It’s the jumpsuit blind for me. My friend looks amazing in jumpsuits. She’s the same dress size as me. Yeah but she is 6ft and I am 5ft 3. I look like a badly dressed toddler. Particularly when I get all red faced and wriggly because I need a wee.

[Number51]

Remembered another one.

The long belted winter coat that would exude timeless elegance and give me the illusion of a waist.

It made me look like I'd locked myself out in my dressing gown.

[wellhonestly]

Crying at this thread!

Like someone upthread, I had a furry gilet.

Expectation: chic, yummy-mummy with chelsea tractor heading off to coffee "with the girls".

Reality: uncouth 1940s cypriot goat-herd.

And wide trousers are my nemesis, they just make me look like a cuboid with a head.

[KnitFastDieWarm]

uncouth 1940s cypriot goat-herd

a look we all aspire to!

[Floisme]

What about skinnies?

Come on, we know we looked ridiculous. Can we talk about it yet or is it still too soon?

[KatharinaRosalie]

Ooh skinnies, and leggings.

I'm a size 10. I work out. At regular intervals buy myself a pair of skinnies or leggings, planning to look all sleek and stylish. I mean everybody else in the entire world wears them so it can't be so bad?

And next time I go out: "Hear ye! Hear ye! Step right this way! See the amazing woman with parsnips for legs!"

[MorrisZapp]

Covering up at weddings needs it's own subthread. Get a pashmina they said, so versatile they said.

I ordered it in cream. I looked like the only steerage passenger to make it off the Titanic.

Unexpected bonus: ideal party prop for limbo dancing.

[MayFayner]

Crying at some of these 😂

A selection of my own disasters:

Breton top to wear with black skinnies
Expectation: basic mumwear
Reality: mime artist

Chunky-knit cardigan from Maje (on sale! Ooh)
Expectation: Lazy Sunday morning chic
Reality: Mrs Brown

Getting a fringe
Expectation: Claudia winkleman
Reality: Nigel off Spinal Tap

[LazyDailyMailJournos]

I can only wear skinnies if they are a dark colour, if the top I'm wearing is long line, and with boots. Anything other than that and I look like an egg on - rather sturdy - legs.

I normally go for straight leg jeans, but skinnies are so handy for days like today when it's bloody freezing and you want to be able to tuck your jeans into boots.

[LazyDailyMailJournos]

I looked like the only steerage passenger to make it off the Titanic

I've just completely lost it! Can't remember the last time a MN thread made me laugh so much

[KatharinaRosalie]

Bralettes, what a wonderful invention! No no, ther are totally supportive enough eve for bigger boobs. Will be great!

If you like the flattened unboob around bellybutton look..

[grannycake]

I bought a floral loose dress from Cath Kidston. My DH said I looked like I should be pushing a drip stand up a hospital corridor

[IHaveBrilloHair]

The silver scarfy/pashmina thing I wore to a christening earlier this year.
Dd spent the whole event sniggering and asking if I was attending an intergalactic toga party later that day.

[newdocket]

This is one of the funniest threads I have ever read on here!

[HildaZelda]

ANYTHING mustard. I look like a corpse. A corpse who really hasn't been well.

[LazyDailyMailJournos]

Have nominated this for Classics. Brilliant thread.

[wheresmymojo]

Any type of cropped trouser or jean.

Expectation: Chic Parisian relaxed glamour
Reality: The Hulk when he outgrows his clothes