Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

SO how many of you have a 'zombie plan'?

350 replies

TheArmadillo · 19/04/2007 21:30

hve been forced to ask this by dp and lodger.

If zombies happened what would you do?

I don't have one - apparently this is unusual Have never even considered it.

SO do you have a zombie plan?

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 20/04/2007 10:46

Why on earth would you kill the dog? My first plan, if society collapses, is to get my neighbour's dog (actually, he's a bit of a rubbish dog, tbh)! Dogs are great for guarding and protection. Why do you think so many homeless people have them?

custy · 20/04/2007 10:50

couldnt feed it

couldnt watch it starve - it would be a drain on our limited resources

serenity · 20/04/2007 10:51

I have emailed DH and demanded to know what our zombie plan is, but he refuses to read the link whilst at work. Sounds reasonable? well maybe unless you knew that i've just spent the last 20 minutes emailing him his D&D PDF files so he can print them off for his boys only D&D session tonight. I hope his elf gets it's head ripped off by rabid zombies

Sadly, when we had our double glazing fitted a few years back, I was quite relieved as it made the flat more zombie/fiend of the night proof After a quick look, I think our only defence in the event of a zombie attck would be the old hairspray and lighter trick. We need to get something long sharp and pointy.

CountessDracula · 20/04/2007 10:55

spread the word

motherinferior · 20/04/2007 10:56

I have a dreadful suspicion Mr Inferior also has a generalised Zombie/Alien attack/Green things with tentacles breaking through from the dungeon dimension plan. I shall ask him.

NotQuiteCockney · 20/04/2007 10:59

custy, unless it's a small pointless fluffy thing (and maybe even then), you should probably reconsider. Dogs are like alarm systems, only with teeth, and no electrical demands. Seriously, that's what they're for, that's why we domesticated the bloody things in the first place. Anyway, in a post-disaster world, won't any competant dog live on rats?

WigWamBam · 20/04/2007 11:05

Ahem!

The WigWamBam phoney further down the thread, with the dh who would stick his finger up a zombie's arse, is NOT ME!

My dh's plan would be much more complicated, and as he wouldn't share it with me beforehand as obviously I'm not capable of understanding such complex and scientific logic, he would take so long to explain it when the time came that the zombies would end up bored to death.

NotQuiteCockney · 20/04/2007 11:06

Goodness, who's the fake WWB then? [admiring]

People always get so cranky when you do that ...

custy · 20/04/2007 11:09

no, what would happen is that our dog would wimper until the kids gave her some of the very limited ( i assume) food.

i take your point about the alarm - a bloody good point it is too. however i know the kids would feed the dog rather than themselves.

WigWamBam · 20/04/2007 11:09

Oh, I know who she is alright.

And I shall be waiting for her behind the bikesheds at dinnertime ...

serenity · 20/04/2007 11:09

Just had to go and check, and no it isn't you is it. That's a bit naughty

NotQuiteCockney · 20/04/2007 11:12

Ah, custy, you should think about getting more of a garbage-eating sort of dog.

Granted, I'm assuming personal safey will be a more crucial issue than food in the first days.

Realistically, if there's going to be a problem, I think hard alcohol is the thing to stockpile. It's hard to make, it stores reasonably well (granted, it's a fire hazard) and it is very very very valuable to English people, who can't manage without it. You could barter it for anything.

LilRedWG · 20/04/2007 11:13

DH just called from work, so I asked him. He sounded concerned about my mental health and I fully expect the men in white coats to turn up soon. When pressed as to why we don't have a plan, DH said he'd let me "champion this one" and come up with a plan. He did suggest that we could set the cat on them [hmm}

LilRedWG · 20/04/2007 11:14

Custy - you could always eat the dog too when you ran out of food!

DrMarthaMcMoo · 20/04/2007 11:22

I went to bed last night fretting about the zombies. I've decided if I am ever confronted with them I shall quip at them - like Buffy does with vampires. I am armed with my two trusty Buffy guides "The Quotable Slayer" and "What Would Buffy Do?" and I intend to swot up this weekend.

I clearly cannot rely on dh to defend me (I asked him this morning "how come you don't have a sword, eh?" and he was unable to formulate any kind of response) so I shall swot up on my quips and Buffy-moves. OK...just the quips then.

WlgWamBam · 20/04/2007 11:28

I will be behind the bike sheds first.

With my SWORD.

NotQuiteCockney · 20/04/2007 11:29

Ah, see, I think DH's answer for why he doesn't have a sword would be because I wouldn't let him have one. (I wouldn't!)

I lie, he probably doesn't want one?

I did make him get rid of the gorilla mask, though, because it creeped me out.

WigWamBam · 20/04/2007 11:31

I'll be there with my pet zombie, you ratbagging imposter, you ...

WlgWamBam · 20/04/2007 11:34

You know who I am. And I know who you have claimed to be in the past.......

WlgWamBam · 20/04/2007 11:34

Ha.

filthymindedvixen · 20/04/2007 11:35

Custy, you could eat the dog. I'll go research recipes...

NotQuiteCockney · 20/04/2007 11:36

Wait, is WWB playing gay chicken with her imposter friend? Or have I just been seeing too many references to gay chicken of late?

WigWamBam · 20/04/2007 11:37

I have never pretended to be someone else.

How the very devil could you say that?

Now hand the name over, there's a good imposter, I don't want to have to use force unless it's absolutely necessary.

WlgWamBam · 20/04/2007 11:38

La,lalalalalall

bettys · 20/04/2007 11:38

filthymindedvixen, like the plan! Don't forget a tin-opener for when you have fought someone off that last tin without a label in the looted shop.
I'd head for high ground in Yorkshire. Good job ds knows how to identify edible plants and gut a fish (must remember to take collapsible fishing rod)