Awkward moments caused entirely due to that British politeness embarrassment thing

[Piglet208]

I was recently having a meal in a hotel in France with Dh. After the main course, the lovely waiter ( he looked like Manuel from Fawlty towers) came over with the menu and said something in French about dessert. I speak some French but didn't catch the whole sentence so I nodded and went to take the menu. He pulled the menu away, smiled and said something else which I didn't catch. We assumed that he thought we didn't want dessert and decided to leave it as the restaurant was extremely busy. Suddenly Manuel triumphantly appeared with two desserts and handed a creme brûlée to Dh and a chocolate tart to me. Now obviously we should have got his attention and explained we hadn't ordered dessert but my embarrassment at having to try to explain in French and to be honest the fact that the desserts looked lovely led to Dh suggesting we just eat them. As we started to eat Dh noticed that the group of waiters were having a serious discussion and looking over worriedly at us. Manuel was beginning to sweat and it was obvious that we had someone else's dessert. So the whole time we continued to eat the desserts ( they were lovely) the entire restaurant staff were heatedly gesticulating and glaring while Manuel got more and more sheepish. After a while identical desserts were brought out to a table close by and eventually Manuel shuffled over to our table and asked Dh to sign for the desserts, avoiding any eye contact or mention of the mistake, which he obviously did much to Manuel's relief. I can't help thinking that Manuel must think we were slightly strange to accept 2 rogue desserts and eat them without saying anything!

Our next door neighbour calls my husband Shaun. He's not called Shaun or anything remotely like it. It's happened too many times now to correct him!

Canadians are polite, but not crippled by social embarrassment/etiquette. So i can't imagine them worrying about correcting someone if they got their name wrong.

Yes, Canadians would very politely and patiently correct you. Every single time you got it wrong.

Anyone English witnessing this would be turned inside out with vicarious mortification.

Based on nothing but casual stereotyping, I think Canadians and Dutch win at this sort of thing.

bluegloves that really made me laugh!

When I was in primary school I'd been asked to go to deliver a message to another teacher in a different class room. I had drawn a picture that day which I was carrying around in a notebook and was really proud of. I was going to give it to another teacher in the school. The teacher i had to pass the message to saw the picture and exclaimed "oh goodness is that for me, how lovely". I didn't want her to have it but rather than make her feel bad that she wasnt having a picture I panicked and said "no, but this one is" and ripped her out a page of scribbles". She actually put it on the wall next to her desk and when my mum came in for my brother's parents evening she showed it to her. I remember my mum asking me why on earth I'd given her a page of scribbles instead of an proper picture!

When i lived in Canada we rented a basement apartment from a family who lived in the house above. We were chatting in the garden one day and the lady said they were off on hols the following week. I said (being British and all about the weather) 'oh sounds lovely, what's the forecast?' She then explained in length how much each individual part of the holiday had cost. I was squirming. Every part of my insides felt hot and itchy. I of course nodded politely. Then she when she had told me down to the last dollar she said 'So that's the 'full cost' i think'. And I then realised she had misheard forecast as full cost

I said 'oh, i hope you have nice weather, cheerio', ran inside, packed my bags, moved back to the UK and had major facial reconstructive surgery. I still cringe thinking about it.

KERALA1 you are raising your DDs brilliantly

3luckystars probably just me being dim but I don't understand? Why did your friend pretend to be someone else? How strange.

I don't think I'm British at all...
I never do any of these things, quite the opposite which also leads to me feeling very embarrassed anyway.
Last year in Portugal on holiday I was queuing up at the checkout and this Portuguese woman came and stood at the front of the queue when it was my turn next. I looked at her and said excuse me I'm next, do you mind not pushing in!
It turned out she wasn't pushing in at all but just wanted to look at something behind the counter
I very sheepishly said sorry as I was leaving

Colleague went for an interview once.

She was asked if she'd like coffee or tea.

Tea, she said.

Milk or lemon, she was asked. This was back in the day.

Both, she said.

She drank it and got the job.

user1457213512

I presume the friend pretended to be someone else as she didn't like to refuse to cut OP's daughter's hair. It was easier to pretend to be someone else rather than have an embarrassing conversation with the OP.

I went to a job interview some distance away for a small charity. I was invited to have lunch in the staffroom which was a proper meal (as opposed to the sandwiches I was anticipating) with the person in charge of the organisation at head of table and putting the food on the plates. There were butterbeans as a veg. I'd never had them before and was valiantly eating them horrible things that were rather hard too embarassed to leave them. At the end of the meal I realised that they were presumably undercooked and everyone else had left theirs....
(I got the job...hated it)

Based on nothing but casual stereotyping, I think Canadians and Dutch win at this sort of thing.

Not the Dutch, surely. If you ask someone to lunch, say, and they don't want to go, the Dutch person will say "No, thank you" without needing to pretend he's in Outer Mongolia that day but otherwise he'd simply LOVE to.

Re: the hairdresser answering the phone and pretending to be someone else

I think maybe she was only answering the phone for the receptionist, and then by the time she realised it was me that she was too far into the conversation to admit it was her.

mrs I think your idea of "winning" and mine are different

A woman at work used to call me Jane. That is my colleague's name but not mine. I corrected her the first few times then gave up. My other colleague used to piss himself in our joint meetings (which she had invited me to, by my correct name) and even started calling me it I obviously had to move jobs.

Backstreet Spanish tapas bar. 15 year old waiter. No English spoken.

After we'd ordered our 12 plates of 'tapas' to share amongst 4 by pointing at pictures, you can imagine our horror when the first couple of dishes arrived on full size dinner plates. Being English - say nothing. We're a bit traumatised by plate number 4. Hysterical by plate 6 and I think we actually died eating plate 7, at which point DS who was 11 and had done one year of Spanish, thought he'd go inside and try and stop them sending out any more food.

He waved his arms around and thinks he might have said 'no more'. Thankfully, the next thing they brought was the humongous bill along with several doggy bags of the rest of the food. You live and learn.

mistressclaire I did a bit of French linguistics/pragmatics and you're right, the "politeness gap" between speakers is shorter in French which is why as a native English speaker you leave a longer gap when the other person stops talking and you feel you can never get a word in edgeways.

These are absolutely hilarious keep them coming!

When I was a teenager I was mistaken for a boy on a semi-frequent basis. I didn't really mind much (big tomboy hence the buzzcut and boys clothes) and so if it was someone that I was unlikely to see again (random shop assistant etc) I wouldn't bother to correct them due to british awkwardness. I would instead try to act in as boyish a way as possible so that they didn't realise I was actually a girl and THEY get embarrassed they were mistaken

IT GETS WORSE! Once I didn't correct someone, and then it turns out they were not a customer, but a new colleague at my summer job when I was about 16/17. By the time I realised why he hadn't left the shop after 45 minutes, it was too far too late and he was calling me "sonny" and "champ". I did not say a word. FOR. EIGHT. DAYS!

Luckily I could then escape back to school and pretend it never happened, but I am 99% sure he figured it out and we both kept up the presence that I was a boy out of pure britishness.

I went to a job club when I was unemployed in my early twenties, in a town I hadn't lived in for long. The organiser greeted me like an old friend and was clearly concerned as to why "I" was there again. I muttered something about things not working out and tried to avoid him as much as possible for the following 6 weeks.
A couple of weeks later with some new friends I went to a pub and the bouncer greeted me like an old friend and asked how my sister was getting on. I accepted the free entry into the pub and moved away shortly after.

Dh and I had a night flight back from Cuba. There was a little cafe at the airport and to use up the last of our currency we asked for 'dos cerveza'. The lovely chap at the bar took our order and presented us with 2 espressos which we're so strong you could almost stand a teaspoon up in them. Neither of us drink coffee or any kind of caffeine but we sat there drinking while the barman practiced his English on us.

We then spent an 8 hour flight twitching and definitely not sleeping

I really really really hate coffee - it makes my stomach heave. But I was staying near some relatively distant relatives (in another country) last week and when I dropped by they insisted I stayed for a coffee. I gladly accepted, as in the UK you'd almost certainly be offered tea as well. But only coffee was served. Did I say anything? No, I bloody pretended to drink the coffee I'd been poured. Then when my DH turned up 10 minutes later, I insisted on giving him my (clearly untouched) cold cup of coffee to drink instead of letting them pour him a new one. Relatives were giving me total wtf looks.

My next door neighbour misheard my name when I first introduced myself so, being too English to correct her I spent eight years answering to a different name.

I live and ORL in France. For years when I wanted to speak to a manager or client I'd hover awkwardly at the doorway to their office, not wanting to interrupt but waiting to be acknowledged.

Sometimes I'd hover for 10 minutes before giving a small cough and asking if I could just quickly bother them.

Then I noticed what my French colleagues do. Basically I should have just marched straight in with a cheery loud 'bonjour' and start asking my question immediately.

I try to do it though still cringe about it. Feels so wrong!