Awkward moments caused entirely due to that British politeness embarrassment thing

[Piglet208]

I was recently having a meal in a hotel in France with Dh. After the main course, the lovely waiter ( he looked like Manuel from Fawlty towers) came over with the menu and said something in French about dessert. I speak some French but didn't catch the whole sentence so I nodded and went to take the menu. He pulled the menu away, smiled and said something else which I didn't catch. We assumed that he thought we didn't want dessert and decided to leave it as the restaurant was extremely busy. Suddenly Manuel triumphantly appeared with two desserts and handed a creme brûlée to Dh and a chocolate tart to me. Now obviously we should have got his attention and explained we hadn't ordered dessert but my embarrassment at having to try to explain in French and to be honest the fact that the desserts looked lovely led to Dh suggesting we just eat them. As we started to eat Dh noticed that the group of waiters were having a serious discussion and looking over worriedly at us. Manuel was beginning to sweat and it was obvious that we had someone else's dessert. So the whole time we continued to eat the desserts ( they were lovely) the entire restaurant staff were heatedly gesticulating and glaring while Manuel got more and more sheepish. After a while identical desserts were brought out to a table close by and eventually Manuel shuffled over to our table and asked Dh to sign for the desserts, avoiding any eye contact or mention of the mistake, which he obviously did much to Manuel's relief. I can't help thinking that Manuel must think we were slightly strange to accept 2 rogue desserts and eat them without saying anything!

Mango That's absolutely insane and totally something I would do... this thread is absolute gold, well done for starting OP.

For those who don't do FB like me, but enjoy Twitter, Great British Problems is on there too I may have their books and I may be known to acknowledge that I behave in the ways described in there a lot

On honeymoon in Iceland we went to a 5* restaurant and I noticed there were no vegetarian options. I mentioned it to the waitress and she said no problem.

Out came half a cabbage. On its own. But it had seemingly been picked and lightly fried as it was entirely translucent, like a big jellyfish.

The hotel manager came to our table to ask how it was and I didn't want them to feel bad so said it was great and forcefed myself the entire thing. It cost £100.

Nellie Good god, no! If I corrected someone I would feel awful for making them feel embarrassed and awkward and terrible. And likewise, if I was to be corrected....oh god the shame would forever haunt me, I'd never, ever live it down.

Obviously most normal people would be like, "Oh, ok, sorry about that" and move on never to mention the event again,but me? Nope. I'd want the ground to swallow me up.

There must be other nations out there like this? We can't be the only ones who are so barkingly awkward about little things like getting a name wrong??

Nellie - we have to avoid that awkward moment at all costs. So you don't correct them the first time. Then the next time, it's even more awkward to explain the mistake, so you leave it. The longer you leave it the more awkward it is. 10 years later, you're still answering to Thelma and you'd look like a total lunatic if you said 'my name is Jane'.

Interesting that it's not a British thing but an English thing.

We moved to a small Sardinian town. When the first electricity bill came in it was my job to go to the local post office. Made sure I had the bill, enough money and off I went.
Walked in to find a clump of people at the counter, with true Britishness, I joined the end of the clump to wait my turn. More people came, walked to the front of the clump and got served and left, while I still stood at the back, waiting my turn.
45 minutes later I was still waiting while the group didn't get any smaller, locals came and left, while I stood thinking there couldn't possibly be many more people in the village to come to the post office that day...
Finally a little old lady started yelling and grabbed me by the arm, pushing me to the front of the counter where I paid my bill, thanked her and hurried out.
It happened we lived near the post office and I spent hours over the next few weeks watching the post office to see when the quietest time was to go so I wouldn't have to go through that again. After that, at 2pm on a Thursday, I went to pay my bill.

This happened this morning...

We're in Spain. I fancied some churros with chocolate .
The cafe was more of a local, authentic Spanish spot as opposed to one frequented by tourists, so when the waiter didn't understand my order the actual chef came out. I repeated my order and he asked 'how many churros you like? Five?'.

I was already sweating on the spot having the chef come out to take my order so of course out of politeness agreed that yes, five sounded like the perfect amount.

Well out comes what can only be described as a monster-tarantula-on-steroids sized plateful of the deep fried treat, which of course I proceeded to stuff down my throat with forceful glee, not wanting to offend.

I spent the next hour wandering the streets trying not to vomit (30 degree heat and a stomach full of grease don't mix).

Why?

A food one.
Many years ago we were in Paris and arranged to go out for a meal with a couple we had met.
When we sat down to look at the menu we realised we were totally out of our league. We pretended we had a late lunch and just ordered soup.
The other couple were determined to splash out and make the most of it so ordered lobster. The waiter took them to choose the lobster which was weighed and taken away to be cooked. Then it dawned on them that the price on the menu was per 100g not per lobster and not only that they had miscalculated the price in Francs. It was going to cost them all the money they had for the rest of the holiday.
We didn't even get bread with the soup as it was extra.

IME the British aren't that different in queuing etiquette from other northern European countries. There are some queue jumpers everywhere but I've queued at banks, town halls, swimming pools, train stations and gigs across the UK, France, the Netherlands and Belgium and they're all about the same. This idea that only the British queue properly and that everywhere else is just an argy-bargy is wrong.

similar to some PP's, my dad sees a man every morning whilst out walking the dog who is convinced my dad's name is "John"... it's not, nor is it anything like John but my dad never corrected him and now it's gone too far

Hilarious.
Game old bird I really did laugh out loud then looked sheepishly out of my car window to see if any one noticed.
Priceless

Similar - Japanese restaurant - we were asked to pass a plate of salmon nigiri to the next table ... promptly ate it due to not understanding ... many glares received

Essential hummus wins the prize
In fact a very clever person could do a comedy sketch on that alone

Me and DP also missed a bus in Monaco recently ... we queued up nicely and then when it arrived ... everyone pushed manically to get on ... by the time we got there it was full!
When the next bus arrived we channeled football hooliganism and got a lovely seat

I am not British by birth but living in UK for more than 10 years and a lot of British martyrdom has rubbed on me for sure.

In a posh Italian restaurant in Manchester, I ordered from the menu about something salad with grilled salmon and ragu-pasta. All in one dish. Rest of the family ordered as per their choice too. When my dish came all it had was some cold lettuce leaves, a few tiny pieces of salmon and some tiny tomatoes. All stone cold. No sign of pasta anywhere. By that time I had already started to eat but progressively got angrier and angrier at myself for not having the ability to create a ruckus. I try to eat healthy but this was something I never intended to eat. It was horrendous but I kept quite, seething in anger and my husband was literally enjoying my predicament.

In the end, I had to even leave some tips with the bill. I am NEVER going to visit that restaurant ever. I still feel angry at myself for not returning the dish. It was foul.

I am NEVER going to visit that restaurant ever

Was it Gusto? We went to one with the in-laws and my aubergine parmagiana was 2 slices of breadcrumbed, deep fried aubergine with a tablespoon full of sauce in a little pot. Did I complain? Did I buggery, I told them it was delicious and went to the corner shop for a dirty snickers and a packet of crisps.

I was having building work done and with workmen in the house all day I was too embarrassed to spend more than two minutes in the loo so got very constipated.
Went to the loo at work and was in there for ages, finally getting rid of five days worth. Home time came and went and my boss banged on the door and asked if anything was wrong, she had to lock up.
I fled from the blocked up loo and left it for the poor cleaner in the morning.

I never used to complain in restaurants but I do now. I went to Prezzo last week. Asked for a side salad - rocket with balsamic and Parmesan shavings. Got a plate of rocket, no cheese or dressing. I did complain.

In the same restaurant a few months back I ordered a soup - which I kid you not was just two spoonfuls. My husband was incensed. He made me ask for more Oliver Twist stylee - the waitress looked at me as if I was mad. I could see into the kitchen and the "chef" looked out at me after the waitress pointed me out and ladled some more soup in like I was the greediest fucker ever to grace their establishment. I should have said something, but no, just sat their shamefaced even though they were stingy soup bastards.

Note to self: avoid that restaurant

Prezzo are a shower of shite. I asked for asparagus on my pizza and got one lonely spear for the princely sum of two quid. Robdog bastards.

I had this today. Queuing for the bus, leaning against a post with a lady in front of me (gap of about a foot). In this gap a lady squeezes herself (ok, maybe she thought I wasn't queuing, even though 5 people had recognised the line and were stood behind me) but then another women, a man and 5 kids then get in front of me!!!

In my head, I'm screaming "You cheeky necky bastards" but because, you know, British, I just tutted very quietly and gave my head a very slight nod of discontent.

They were all together as a group by the way - the First Lady was obviously a type of sniper queue jumper and the rest follow her lead...

We were on holiday in Barcelona and heading to a tapas restaurant that had been very highly recommended. Found the restaurant, checked the menu, looked amazing. Took seats and a table in the square outside. Waiter came and took our drinks order and left menus. We immediately realised that we were not sitting at a table that belonged to the recommended place, but at a table belonging to another restaurant on the square.

Even though we were really looking forward to trying the delicious looking menu at the recommended place, we were too embarrassed, especially as we had already ordered drinks from the 2nd restaurant, to admit our mistake and move tables.

So we order our food from the 2nd restaurant. Food arrives, is really not nice at all. Naturally we don't complain. Until some (non-British) diners next to us make a loud complaint about the horrible food, at which point we feel brave enough to pipe up 'oh ours was horrible too'.

Mines quite boring, but the only one I can think of.

When I had my first, we were living with the boyfriends mum. She used to get a window cleaner in. Son was only a couple of weeks old when the window cleaner knocked on the door? To give the bill. He was being friendly, congratulated me on having the baby. Kept referring to him as a she. I was too embarrassed to correct him, and figured it didn't matter, I rarely saw him. And he would realise the baby was a boy on his own and we could both avoid the embarrassment. Except he had to ruin it. He had to ask what 'her' name was.

I said then he started to say what I can only assume was 'that's unusual for a girl' before the realisation dawned on him.

'It's a boy?'
'Yeah....'

Oh the awkward.

@StewPots Oh the infamous British tut. What would we do without it!

Piglet But obviously I did it very quietly so as to not a) draw attention to myself or b) have them see my discontent and cause an awkward scene. Unlikely, but the risk is too high...

My auntie once went to the hairdressers with her best friend when they were teenagers. Her best friend went first and the hairdresser completely butchered her hair, dreadful cut.

Then it was my auntie's turn and the hairdresser asked what she wanted and she said "the same as her" 😂😂😂

They both went home crying.