To ask what sort of voices your pets have when they speak

[kitnkaboodle]

...shamelessly ripping this off from a thread the other week that started off on something else and then turned, in the middle of the night, into people saying how they voice their pets. Had me crying with laughter and need more!
Our dog speaks in a sort of faux-posh voice, like hyacinth bouquet. She would definitely say 'naice'. She also lisps and pronounces -y at the end of words like 'eh' - so 'mummeh' and 'hungreh' etc. God knows why! She's 12 so the origins of all this are lotht n the mithth of taime, as she'd say ...

Our deceased, small, squeaky, female cat (still)Daisy speaks like Danny Dyer. Glad its not just me that makes OH do voices for pets

Oh wow - my first classic . I could almost write a thesis on this, trying to work out why:

• Danny Dyer
• mexican/Spanish
• Russian émigrés

feature so often.

Forgot to tell you that our dog - who is actually a working breed despite all this nonsense - refuses to acknowledge the word 'bitch' and often turns into David Walliams shrieking 'ai am a laideeee' ...

Our cat speaks like Missy off Dr Who.

We call her Miss Meow.(though that isn't her name)

And she delivers a thorough and precise telling off if there is anything unsatisfactory. Such as me leaving the house. Ever.

My cat looks at me every night when the kids have gone to bed and says "thanks fuck for that"

Love the cat who sounds like David Bowie. One of our cats is an exasperated glaswegian who frequently tells us to Fuck off and 'gies mair food, ya bass' (feed me more now, you unpleasant person). The other cat is a bit thick and says 'Gee George' a lot in the manner of the Looney tunes yeti character.

Little Dog is very excitable and says "ohmygod", and "I was like..." all the time. She tells you to "Shu' UUUUUpp" if you disagree with her.

Middle Dog is basically Miranda Hart - jolly hockey sticks and a bit temper-prone.

Spotty Dog is an East London matriarch with a bad smoker's cough who says "piss off" a lot.

My old dog talked like Corporal Jones from Dad's Army.

The rabbit and the cat both talk like east end villains, very Kray twins.

The two jill ferrets are both south london teenage girls.

The one Hobb ferret is either Kevin or Perry and the other hobb is more Father Jack.

And the Bearded Dragon talks like Lenny Henry.

My cat has a split personality and was gutted when we found out. In the house with us he talks like Kenneth Williams and demands cuddles and attention. But... outside with other cats he thinks he's hard and comes over all "Phil Mitchell".

Our dear departed Siamese had the voice of Leslie Philips (Ding Dong!) crossed with Terry Thomas.

Spanish boy cat clearly follows the stereotypes and answers to 'Ola' I wish

Little girl cat is cute but incredibly grumpy so every other word is 'fuck'

Bengal Boy sounds like Pepe Le Pew

Our fluffy black cat looks and speaks like Naomi Campbell. She's very beautiful (high cheekbones, glossy hair, perfect teeth) but has a tough streak if anyone upsets her. She's got a naice middle class accent which slips into cockney when she's angry. 'Wot the bleedin 'ell d'ya fink yor doin'. She doesn't get out of bed for less than a tin of tuna.

We have 2 female cats that are just over a year old.
Tabby is currrently running in and out of the house, doing the wall of death on the sofa, up and down stairs and up the scratching post. I think she verges between excitable 9 yr old boy ' Did you see it? Did ya? Did ya?' and devious ankle snagger with a kind of slitty eyes voice full of spite.
B&W is in the bedroom, under the kids desk, asleep. She is more of a ODFOD older look down her nose at her sister type as she would never deign to chase about. Except when there is a fly at the window. Then all bets are off.

My dog is scouse

Girl cat - Joanna Lumley
Big boy cat - Grumpy older man voice think an irritated Jack Nicholson

Little boy cat - Camp and hysterical at times ... maybe Louie Spence 😂

Fun thread, and so relieved to see that whilst we may not be normal we're also not alone !

Our dog and cat both have high pitched squeaky voices - DCat is one big mean mutha (just ask the vet techs who had to minster to and medicate him for six days recently) and his voice is so incongruous with his appearance yet it suits him to a tee. DDog's voice rises at the end so every sentence is a question, and he can't say his effs properly, ie freezy becomes fweezy ...

DCat lost his voice about six months ago and he sounded like some demented Mafia boss for a while there. He is a bit of a racketeer actually (ie he sells swear words to DDog bahahaha) and "knows some people", if you get my drift .

Our cat channels the spirit of Kim Kardashian.

We have 2 cats:
A large male tabby who speaks with a Bradford accent, like DH, and is very laid back
A female tortie who is small and speaks in a gramattically incorrect cat voice - grammatically incorrect but consistently so. She is very bossy and a know-it-all and politically active eg has had a recent petition because we keep taking her mice off her.

Fluffy cat is very louche, absent-minded, affectionate - pretty sure he'd sound like Stephen Fry, if Stephen Fry was a bit dim.

His little brother is not very good at meowing actually, and sort of "mips", but loudly and only if it's really urgent. I think he'd have a staccato accent, sort of 1940's Brooklynese. Bit bossy and to the point.

Omg I've just seen this thread and I'm so glad I'm not the only loopy person. In our house dogs talk in a sort of faux posh cockney accent. Cats in a sort of Lancashire/Manchester accent. Rodents are scouse with small ones like hamsters being squeaky going up to rabbits who are quite gruff. Horses are Irish, cows are West Country, sheep are Welsh and pigs are Brummie. I am aware this is all mental.

Plus our pets (currently 2 cats and a guinea pig) are totally vain and constantly tell us how gorgeous they are, also need to constantly be told how gorgeous they are...

I realise I'm very late to the party on this but I'm in stitches on a very long boring train journey home from Manchester to London:)

GruberCat Prince of Darkness
DP does a great snarky almost German/Russian drawl

"So CatSlaves you haf deigned to return... make sure the Premier Lap is available for my uses....Ver Good Slaves..ahhhhh the fuss..."

Mind you this is the same man who trained his arse to talk 😂
I asked a question...he looked thoughtful for a moment and his arse said "We-e-ll...." with a sonorous three-tone fart!

I was crying with laughter for about an hour and couldn't look at him without getting the giggles 😂😂

Our precious princess Labrador has a very posh entitled voice. She is waited on hand and foot and moves people off the sofa so she can lay down by staring and saying 'excuse me, I believe you're on my sofa, could you get off please' She also lays on the floor and bangs her paw at you saying 'for God's sake woman get it for me now'
Our beautiful fluffy but dopey cat has a very vague and puzzled voice ' hello who the hell are you I've never seen you before in my life. Where am I anyway ?' All looks but no brain.

Battlecat is a reb who flips the bird at anyone who tries to stop her doing it her way. She mainly speaks with the voice of Johnny Rotten but can flip in an instant to a Victor Meldrewish 'I don't belieeeeeve it' when the mood takes her.

My cat has quite a prissy, nasally voice. She's quite haughty, and whenever we go out to work she says "You're leaving me AGAIN! I am most displeased!". Her other catchphrase is "you know". As in, "I don't like the old food, you know. I must be given fresh food, you know."