To ask what sort of voices your pets have when they speak

[kitnkaboodle]

...shamelessly ripping this off from a thread the other week that started off on something else and then turned, in the middle of the night, into people saying how they voice their pets. Had me crying with laughter and need more!
Our dog speaks in a sort of faux-posh voice, like hyacinth bouquet. She would definitely say 'naice'. She also lisps and pronounces -y at the end of words like 'eh' - so 'mummeh' and 'hungreh' etc. God knows why! She's 12 so the origins of all this are lotht n the mithth of taime, as she'd say ...

I have 2 cockers. 1 spends the whole time racing around like a teenager on acid and shouts 'mum, mum, mum, mum' all the time. The other 1 is a bit haughty and is probably telling him to 'please be quite, he has a headache and needs a dark room with soft cushions, lighting and a bottle of Evion water'

my DDog is growly! She has firm but basic opinions. DH is convinced she's a brexiteer (British treats for British dogs and keep those nasty foreign dogs out!)

She has a rich but basic vocabulary. She expresses opinions on food (give me more treats). Love (love me more). Fashion (I only wear brindle). Rest (I need more). etc.

He's sort of a bit deep and gruff. And he seems to order us around a lot. "Go on, scratch it." That kind of thing. He talks about food a LOT.

Deranged...

My old bunny had a voice like Mr Bean and the new bunny has a higher pitched voice like Mickey Mouse for some reason he has an American accent too and is a wimp. He calls me mummy but old bunny called me by my name. I would love to know what animals think when we do this!

And when the DC were little, all their cuddly toys had American accents. I think Dora the Explorer was responsible for that

My lab is from Scotland and she gets her back up and barks at other dogs having the temerity to pass the gate. So she's quite broad Scots and shouts things like the MacFeegles at them,"Ye scunners!" and she does swear a bit, I'm afraid.
Her daughter is a bit posher, as her father is famous, and she drawls "re-ally, Mother", and she would really like to be a wine connoisseur, always following me round when I have a glass of red in my hand, often commenting on the bouquet.

The tortoise uses the most obscene language and calls us all bastards on a daily basis.

My cat has the voice of an exiled Russian countess, now living in reduced circumstances in Paris in the mid 1920s and unable to come to turn with her new status.

Amazingly (nothing to do with the fact that the bloke speaks for both of them) the tortoise and the motorbike have very similar voices...

My cat has a Leeds accent. Which is a bit odd as no one in the family is from Leeds, nor even Yorkshire. In fact we don't live English, nor even in Britain.

Mine has a quite high but gravely voice. A bit slow and simple too. A bit like Scooby doo but with a very broad Yorkshire accent.
But when people walk past his gaff he's a full on mancuion chav. But that's all a front.

I have a grumpy ginger Guinea pig who speaks like Phil Mitchell. But swearier.

Our old, sadly departed piggy was much cheerier and spoke like Joe Pasquale. Much to the annoyance of Ginger bollocks.

Dog 1 - very posh and ladylike as befits her pedigree (think Judith Keppel on Eggheads) but occasionally lapses into gruff East End when she needs to assert herself - eg where food is concerned

Dog 2 - Eastern European (don't know why he speaks like that as he's an Irish rescue)

Dog 3 - girly and very excited with elements of Catherine Tate's schoolgirl (as in 'I know you're cross I've chewed your shoe - am I bovvered?). Again, don't know why as she's another Irish rescue. (Could be because my Irish accent isn't very good)

My cat is a sort of camp Alan Rickman, although DH always does him more as Kenneth Williams which pisses both the cat and myself off immensely.

He refers to himself often on the third person or as 'oneself' and being persistently frustrated for our lack of enthusiasm in his pursuits and our obsession with things that clearly bore the tits off him, he often resorts to drastic action.

This usually manifests as hugely attention seeking displays or profuse swearing. Although he does reserve the majority of his disdain for next doors dog. Uttering a Captain Mannering style Stupid Dog!!! Every time the poor things so much as sneezes.

Ah - these are priceless, thanks. Boysofmelody winning so far ...

What an amazing thread!

Forgot to say that my DDog often tries to convince us to rub her -ahem- more private areas, and shuffles herself around in order to accommodate this. But, sadly, we let her down all the time by not understanding this most basic of instructions! She offers suggestions, which we sadly (for her) ignore!

Arnie the cat has an Alan Rickman voice when he's nice, and he sounds like Carmen from South Park when he's a little shit!

Fluffball pooch sounds like Janice (Chandler's ex out of 'Friends'). High pitched and dramatic to the point of meltdown every single time the postman comes by and then transported to a whirlwind of affection and excitement when DC return from school. Meanwhile, the cats are a crabby pair of sibs who always seem disgruntled to find that it's not permanently feeding time - so sound more like the two grumpy old guys who sit in the balcony in The Muppet show. When dog does something daft (which is often) you can easily imagine them yuk yukking to each other.

Haha! Well my (male) tabby cat has a high pitched Scouse accent, cause that's where he grew up! And he never stops talking.
Then my female half Persian kitty has a hauty tauty voice, much like someone who thinks she's the queen giggles she has the temper to match, and when she loses her temper, her voice becomes like Monica and Rachel from friends in that episode where they fight over Jean-Claude Van Dam :3
My black and white old girl has a permanent expression of surprise and I like to think her voice is like an excited child :D

My pug is Jamaican

Our old Labrador was called Maximus, after Gladiator. He was definitely the pipe and slippers type and had a deep, upper class voice.

My cat has the voice of Jenny Bond and calls me 'mother'. She can be a bit grumpy, especially if she is being cuddled without permission. She says things like, 'Really, mother, please put me down. You really are insufferable!'
I don't know why she's so posh. She came from Bridgend, South Wales and I adopted her after a teenage pregnancy where she found herself in the cats home, kitenless, with a cone on her head. I think she is trying to prove a point or something.

Our cat has a high pitched voice with an Australian twang, is very sweary and claims to be a famous ballerina every time she breaks something / falls off something.

He has a west country accent despite being a city boy. Lord knows why.