Cringiest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

[Fourtwenty]

We were secretly sent the lyrics to the first dance and as a surprise we all had to stand up and sing it to the couple.

My toes were curling

[EastMidsGPs]

Re the Butlins games
I've attended one where the entertainment was a very long hour of line dancing. Not for the guests, no, it was a demonstration by the bride's mother's club.

[user1492526833]

Bride and groom crying at the altar. Best kept in the movies.

[dustmotesinthesun]

A friend's wedding there was just the most dreadful best man. He read his speech from an A4 folder stuffed with notes. He announced his wife had ordered him not to talk for more than 10 minutes but he still went on for over 30. You could visibly see people wilting as the speech went on, it was so incredibly boring. People were fanning themselves and slumping in their chairs and reading their menus 10x over. A few got their phones out and he was just oblivious

He finished the speech with that classic joke that the groom had announced that for their honeymoon, he was going to Bangor

My friend is very shy and just utterly classy and lovely and the joke was so out of place for that crowd. There were gasps!

It was the worst speech i've ever heard

[UserShmuser]

The bride changed in to pyjamas after the first dance but they were tiny hot pants shorts pyjamas. Awful.

Another one the bride had booked those singing waiters. Basically two singers were part of the catering staff. One was a manger and she was training someone who was on his first day. She was pointing everything he did wrong and being nasty to him so all the guests were shocked and could hear the way she was speaking to him. Then he dropped something and she shouted at him so he said he quits. This is usually the part where he storms off but then comes back in to join the manager in song. However one of the guests stood up and started shouting at the woman for how she'd been treating the man and was then joined by other guests. He ran off and she apologised and said she'd put some music on. Then the music came on and she started to sing and he came back in.

It was so cringey! We knew what was going on because the bride had told us but we were still so uncomfortable and embarrassed for everyone involved

[FruBayerischOla]

Many years ago I'd been invited as the plus-one of a newish boyfriend. I'd met the B&G once, but didn't know any of their other friends. Very laid-back, informal reception on a pleasure boat on the Thames. The Groom made a brief speech. Then his best mate, who, with his girlfriend had been their witnesses at the registry office, made a speech which ended with "and by the way, girlfriend and I got married on the quiet yesterday, so congratulations to us too". There was a bit of a stunned silence and then muted applause - including from the B&G who clearly knew nothing about it - but presumably thought they were bloody cheeky to piggy-back on to their wedding reception, IYSWIM.

[Headofthehive55]

Why do people not like the choreographed dance? I think they are nice to watch! Better than a shuffle!

[DimsieMaitland]

We had to sing Climb Every Mountain from the Sound of Music at a civil wedding.
None of us could hit the high notes, and my sister got the giggles.

[missmartha]

I've been to one where an owl flew up the aisle and landed on the groom's arm to deliver the rings. golden cord thing was involved. The guest next to me whispered a profanity and the bride's mother wept with joy.
It was weirdly awful and buttock clenching.

[JapaneseTea]

Wedding where the couple were so badly matched that no one talked about the wedding or them during the wedding, we all treated it as a lovely party.

Then the FOB speech had the immortal line 'they say the average wedding costs £26k, and I'd like to say there is nothing average about my daughter' !

They spilt up after a year.

[Yarp]

1. The FOB who didn't mention his daughter once. His speech centred on local history, himself, and the Groom, in that order
   
   
2. The FOB who started his speech with "Me and (daughter) have never really got on"
   
   
3. Best man's speech full of pure filth about sex toys etc. Children and elderly people aghast

[NakedFamilyFightClub]

I am Amy but you're 16 though, when your mates are getting married and you're happy for them because you like them and their partners and they throw a good party to celebrate it you'll hopefully find it more interesting than being dragged to a wedding as a child of the family.

Cringest I've known was probably my own wedding when FIL, who left my MIL with three small children for an OW, standing up and giving a speech about how to have a good marriage. My poor MIL..

[Piratesandpants]

Liinoo - oh god, tears rolling down my face here... I'm on a ferry, everyone's looking at me
I may have to name change after this but I'm honestly wondering, those who have thrones, doves and choreography.. If the marriage doesn't work out, are they embarrassed? I just think that these huge weddings give so much pressure to live a Disney marriage... Honestly no offence meant.

[weddingopinionsplease]

I'm getting married soon so placemarking for more stories

I haven't been to many weddings (maybe 3?) so not much cringe. Usually the guests getting hammered and making tits of themselves but that's pretty usual isn't it?

[Strigoi]

Wedding of a distant family member who was into one of the more 'expressive' branches of Christianity. The vicar invited members of the audience to stand up and 'celebrate the love of the happy couple'. This led to various people jumping up to shout 'praise Jesus!', recite religious poetry and deliver mini-sermons on how much God loved the couple. Then someone got up and sang My Heart Will Go On.

It was excruciating - DH and I, after an initial horrified glance at each other, couldn't meet each other's eyes again in case we started giggling.

Just awful.

[thegreylady]

At a relative's wedding the men were all wearing kilts. We were sitting at round tables and when the best man stood up to make a speech my uncle stuck his hand up the kilt and bellowed,"A real Scot laddie!"

[GinAndOnIt]

Nowhere near as bad as some of these, but I went to one a good while back now, where the bride sang down the aisle (with a microphone) and when she reached the groom, they continued to sing together while dancing with linked arms. It felt like it went on for about 3 hours. I was sat next to my friend's DH who is quite a burly bloke and has no time for nonsense, and his 'fuck sake' muttering had me trying to conceal the giggles fairly unsuccessfully!

[fannydaggerz]

I don't think I've seen anything cringy at a wedding

[PetalMettle]

Great thread OP. Probably the cringiwst was the one i mentioned in another thread - one guest changing into a super tight Short dress for the evening do and coming on to EVERYONE and the bride then getting pissed off so running round with dress over her head to show off her knickers
Oh went to another one when the MOB heckled the FOB during his speech about how she was going to get him into bed later

[AroseforEmily]

During the Best Man speech he pointed to the bride's elderly grandmother and said that in 50yrs the new bride would look like that and could the groom imagine banging the nan.
Thankfully the grandmother was pretty deaf but it was awful

[spinassienne]

A clarinet solo by the bride's seven year old sister. Pobably about grade 2. And the same couple had Abide with me as one of their wedding hymns

[RiseandGrind]

All the weddings Ive ever been to over the last 40 years have been cringe-worthy to be honest, apart from my sisters (traditional CofE church wedding).

Problems have mainly focussed on the best man being a twat and the bride being completely loopy. Add to that the ridiculousness and awkwardness of it all (some people never having been in a church before and not knowing what to do, when to kneel, sit, stand etc..) generally unbecoming behaviour and its a wonder people still go through with them.

Ive never seen the appeal. Theyre either boring or embarassing. Of course Id never voice this opinion in real life as everyone loves a wedding right [sceptical]

[dorothymichaels]

Father of the bride so drunk he couldn't stand up to make the speech.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

Christian wedding where the vicar talked at length about how the couple had been saving themselves for their wedding night.

[CarcerDun]

A wedding where bride and groom had a huge row at the reception (between the buffet and dance floor so got everyone's attention). It was so awful and acrimonious that all the guests started leaving. Sad for the couple, no idea if they lasted.

[shinynewusername]

I've been to one where an owl flew up the aisle and landed on the groom's arm to deliver the rings. golden cord thing was involved

That is awesome