Cringiest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

[Fourtwenty]

We were secretly sent the lyrics to the first dance and as a surprise we all had to stand up and sing it to the couple.

My toes were curling

[Code42]

The one where the FOB made the focus of his speech how amazing it was that bride and groom were still virgins and had saved themselves - not like bride's twin sister who'd just had a termination

I'd mention one of my siblings' weddings, but my IL s are on MN and it could lead to awkwardness

[user1492287253]

Father of the bride stated in his opening lines of his speech that he had told her he was only paying for one wedding and they had better makr a go of it but odds were against them as groom had been married before.
It was terrible but within 18 months he had left her.

[NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown]

Father of the bride thew a strop and stormed out.

Speeches were planned before dinner, but everything was running late and the caterer needed them to eat before the speeches over some sort of timing issue - plus we were all famished!
Father of the bride was super pissed off about this and wanted to leave. His wife made him stay.

When it came to his speech, he stood up and said "Congratulations" while holding his glass up, then walked out of there and left the wedding.
Bride cried hysterically for about 20 minutes.

[AlisonBlunderland]

My own wedding.
The best man was a lovely chap so I had high hopes of a pleasant speech, but he obviously had got hold of a "best man's joke book" from 1970. It was full of "anecdotes" about what a drunken ladies man my DH was.
It was obvious they were generic gags and most of DH's other friends were going as they knew he was fairly quiet and not at all sleazy.

Both sets of parents were stony faced throughout and by the painful end my father was muttering "will someone please shut him up"

I don't know what possessed him, it was so out of character

[shinynewusername]

The groom taking off the brides garter thing on her leg. In the middle of an empty dance floor. While she sat on a chair

Normal in the US. Be thankful the groom didn't then mash some cake into the bride's face.

[OutingMyself]

Really living up to my username here, but the worst I've seen was at our wedding. And we eloped!

We got married abroad on our own and it was filmed. At the end, while still filming, they sprung the question on us 'Have you got anything you want to say to family and friends back home?'. Avoiding speeches and other cringy stuff was basically the whole reason we eloped so I wasn't expecting this at all and I am shit at talking at the best of times. DH got verbal diarrhoea and started blathering on and on about god knows what that barely made sense. Then they said to me 'Do you have anything to say?' and I just said 'no', to which they replied an awkward 'Oh..'!

I'm no good when put on the spot!

I've never seen the video and I never want to!

[StealthPolarBear]

" ExplodedCloud

A half strip by the bride and bridesmaids to the groom and groomsmen."
What?!

[StealthPolarBear]

Yes shiny what's the cake stuffing about?

[Dashper]

Hmm. The friend in love with the groom thing- thankfully we avoided that as I persuaded DH to choose a differ best man after some distinctly odd behaviour by his friend.

My friend's best man related how the groom once shat himself in public.

[shinynewusername]

It's traditional for the bride & groom to feed each other slices of wedding cake, Stealth but it's now also common in both senses of the word for one or both to mash the cake into the other's face. How we laugh

[Newsand]

A wedding where the father of the bride in his speech gave a run down of the total amount he spent on his daughter throughout her life (sounded genuine- included costs f school fees, tennis lessons etc) then at the end handed the list to his son in law and just said; 'It's your problem now'.

Another wedding where the best man gave a drunken speech that included the gem' Women are like saucepans. You have to warm them up before you put the fat in'.

That's all I can recall now.

[StealthPolarBear]

[EastMidsGPs]

We told no one, just had best friends as witnesses and then took them out for lunch. All low key.

One family wedding someone thought it would be great to have the 14 year old younger sister of the groom play for us as we waited for the meal at the reception. This teenager was not musically gifted and was not aided by the cheap Casio organ she played and warbled along to 'don't cry for me Argentina' anyone?

And then there was the wedding where the bride's sister, chief bridesmaid and jealous of the attention her sister was getting on the morning of the wedding ..huge hussy fit and refused to attend.
But the worst ever, friend from uni, groom didn't turn up. Wedding in Dartford, he wasn't

[SuperSheepdog]

I went to a very formal and fancy wedding where the brides dad had paid. The grooms speech went into detail about the first time he slept with the bride and he described her as 'like a dog on heat' I could've killed him, as could most of the guests.

[calli335]

I went to an evening reception where two weddings shared the same room, dj and bar. There was a sort of partition down the middle of the dance floor although you could still see the other party. When the dj was talking, you weren't quite sure which bride and groom he was referring to! Very odd!

[rachyconks]

Love this thread!

Too many to mention for me, but recent notable ones;

1. Guest getting ridiculously drunk and telling everyone that would listen how the brides family weren't as good as hers and how the FOB's new wife wasn't as nice as the previous two.
   

1. Groomsmen preforming impromptu karaoke. Not good.
   

1. Actually physical fight between bride and her cousin. Won't forget that for a while.

[Renaissance2017]

The best mans speech where he compared the brides size to a sumo wrestler.

He then went on to say 'I won't be shagging this one if they split up like I did his first wife'.

[DubiousCredentials]

At least having a "best dog" eliminates the hideous "best man" speech risk

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

I've got nothing to add to this thread as I can't remember when I last attended a wedding, but I've read this all through with my face going like this:



Rather hoping if my children ever marry it will be a very small, informal affair.

Terrific thread!

[EastMidsGPs]

Early days if wedding videos.
My brother's wedding, my mum can clearly be seen and heard saying 'what does our May think she looks like in that hat?'
'mutton dressed as lamb as always'

It is not a video that has been viewed very often.

Have remembered a best man's speech which centred around the stag weekend. Stoney silence as he told of the group paying for 18 year old in the party to visit a brothel !!

[Saracen]

The vicar peppering the actual wedding ceremony with many anecdotes illustrating the personal failings of the bride and those of the groom, both of whom he knew well.

I suppose he was trying to get them to focus on the need to pull their socks up and apply themselves to making the relationship work. But surely this was something to discuss privately with them.

No, we did not need to hear that the groom was a terrible spendthrift or that the bride could sulk for England. I wanted the ground to swallow us all.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

Mine. DJ was friend of bil. So the time for music comes. The lights go off, spotlight comes on, dry ice, Thus Spake Zarathustra blares out, he comes out in a mad blonde wig, red silk shorts and a black cape and does this wild dance around the dance floor. Apparently my face was a picture. Then like nothing had happened he goes into our first dance.(to be fair, everyone was up dancing straight off)
Oh and fil organised party games, a la Butlins, he hadn't discussed this with us(which some snidey little second cousin twice removed cheated to win.)

[Bloggybollocks]

I've been to a few terrible ones. The cringiest was in a castle where an owl flew down the aisle and landed on the grooms arm to deliver the rings.....I shit you not.
Another wedding where the dress code was brown and cream, the congregation resembled a massive shit storm and as the marriage lasted all of two years was rather apt.
A simple wedding in a registry office was all one couple could afford, the 'do' was at a local car very where we all had to pay for our own meal (a roast dinner, on a boiling hot day in august anyone?)

[Chavelita]

It's not THAT unusual to have slept with someone who then became a Catholic priest the poster didn't specify he was a priest when the sex took place (though obviously that's perfectly possible!). I've slept with two guys who were ordained later one was a seminarian when we had a brief fling -- and at least another one who dropped out of the seminary.

Cringeworthy weddings -- some twee personalised vows ('I give thanks for your beautiful hands, and your love of animals and tango'), a heavily choreographed sexy tango as the first dance at the same wedding (bride took off her train and put on tango shoes to a drumroll in a spotlight on the dance floor, and they did this endless, elaborate routine with a rose and bullfight-style stamping and clapping and head snaps).