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Original poster

Cringiest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

526 replies

Fourtwenty · 22/04/2017 23:19

We were secretly sent the lyrics to the first dance and as a surprise we all had to stand up and sing it to the couple.

My toes were curling Grin

OP posts:
IntheBenefitTrap · 25/04/2017 16:12

Father of the Bride couldn't get the microphone to work with the speaker to do his speech at a large wedding. As he bent over to flick a switch, he was heard saying, "Now we're sucking the right tit" at full volume as the speaker boomed into life.

SnowBallsAreHere · 25/04/2017 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HectorPlasm · 25/04/2017 18:13

Pre-recorded video of B&G singing 'Everything I do I do it for you' on a big screen with chosen guests then ascending the stage in columns and joining in. Total cheese fest

NotYoda · 25/04/2017 18:57

InTheBenefitTrap

Grin
BounceBounceSplishSplash · 25/04/2017 20:30

Can't remember if this was before or after the first dance but there were party games. The donkey race sticks out in my mind the most - the groomsmen on their hands and knees each with a bridesmaid on their back to see who could get across the dance floor the fastest. The guests were then expected to join in. It was like being at Butlins. Same wedding - after the speeches there was a PowerPoint slide show with hundreds of photos of the bride and groom set to a Westlife song.

GotToGetMyFingerOut · 25/04/2017 20:34

The best man repeatedly kept lifting his kilt and sitting his bare balls on the mother of the bride leg in the bar at the end of the night 😂

BounceBounceSplishSplash · 25/04/2017 20:36

Same wedding as above - there were inflatable guitars that were handed out at the reception and the guests were encouraged to dance with them. Sort of like air guitar but with props.

I've been to two weddings that had this. The second wedding was a relation of the bride and groom of the first wedding so they must have liked the idea so much they copied it Grin

GotToGetMyFingerOut · 25/04/2017 21:07

The one where the groom said now brides off the market can everyone return the keys to her back door and his pals all got up and put keys on the table..and the brides dad went on about how he'd heard them having sex in the early days when she lived at home.

GinAndTalented · 25/04/2017 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Millie2013 · 25/04/2017 21:34

The false teeth sharing story made me feel a bit sad!

Sittinginthesun · 25/04/2017 21:38

At a relative's wedding, his ex wife turned up in the registry office carpark, dressed in full mourning. Black veil and everything.

She then stood outside the door, silently sobbing throughout the ceremony.

We had to try and get Grandma by her, without seeing her. It was very stressful.

Longdistance · 25/04/2017 21:47

At my wedding, Dh invited s friend he hadn't seen for a few years, but was friends with him for years. He was with his second wife (who he's now divorced) and they were known to be drinkers.
Well, I'd never met them before, and his first words to me was about his dad owning a golf course Hmm they both got completely shit faced and didn't get past the first course. They left in a taxi, and we never really heard from them again.

WankingMonkey · 25/04/2017 23:23

It's traditional for the bride & groom to feed each other slices of wedding cake, Stealth but it's now also common in both senses of the word for one or both to mash the cake into the other's face. How we laugh

My fucking husband did this at our wedding. There are photos. I was not impressed. He found it so funny. We nearly got divorced that day.

trevortrevorslattery · 25/04/2017 23:29

The aunties of the bride coming out onto the dance floor dressed as sexy policewomen and giving the groom a lap dance (fully clothed luckily) while he sat on a chair in the middle of the dance floor Shock

yestheyhavethesamedad · 26/04/2017 01:13

oh and another one when my ex husband and I got married and was signing the register the officiant made a comment about seeing us in 10years to get married again, he must have been psychic as the wedding lasted 10years Blush

MiddleClassProblem · 26/04/2017 11:55

Some of these are horrific! Some aren't so bad though.

I think I'd rather see a fun choreographed routine than an attempt at ballroom that looks like the first week of Strictly. Rather have a laugh than whatever emotion you're meant to feel watching them trip around in hold. We did a standard shuffle. I think they are pretty sweet because their genuine and ypu see the couple interact even if self conscious. We also got people up asap!

QwertyScrewdriver · 26/04/2017 12:17

I'm about 1/3 of the way through reading but I've remembered some from weddings I've been to:

  1. A recording playing of the bride and groom singing as the bride walked down the aisle... the bride was okish, the groom was terrible but the worst part was that the song is part of a private joke between me and DH so as soon as we heard the first note we had to turn away from each other to stop ourselves from giggling - made worse by DC (then 3) saying 'Why are you shaking?' loud enough to draw attention to us!
  2. Winter wedding (freezing cold) everyone had to stand outside for photos but we were offered hot chocolate to warm us up. The MOB laughed as she took a sip and sprayed hot chocolate all over FOB white shirt. They didn't have a professional photographer so the friend who made the album had it printed in black and white then covered the FOB shirt, MOB hat, Bride's veil and Groom's bowtie in solid gold glitter. It looks horrendous but the bride shows me the photo everytime I go there!
  3. FOG decided to do get up and do a speech, spoke about his new DIL as looking like a troll doll and how his son doesn't have to worry about him trying to steal his new bride Confused
  4. Bride saying how she had to beg her new husband to accept her proposal, then told of all the times he said no. All while the groom sat there cringing. FOG said 'when (groom) came home and said he's marrying (bride) he thought it must have been someone else with the same name. When it dawned on me it was her I worried that he'd been brainwashed' Cue the FOG, MOG and BOG to all burst out laughing while the bride's parents looked furious!
  5. The priest talking excessively about marriage being between a man and a woman despite knowing that the bride was a big LBGT campaigner and the groom having been brought up in a same sex family from the age of 7.
Not all the same wedding! Can't comment on my own wedding as it would massively out me!
bran · 26/04/2017 12:17

My Mum and Dad went to a wedding where they served crepes suzette for dessert, and the head waiter set his toupee on fire while he was flambe-ing. Grin We had our reception at the same place about six months later and opted for a flame-free dessert.

TheEternalForever · 26/04/2017 15:40

QwertyScrewdriver I did think that all of your ones were at the same wedding for a second, that would've been the most dramatic wedding ever!! Grin

TheEternalForever · 26/04/2017 15:41

bran that's hilarious!! The poor waiter, was he okay?? Did someone have to drown his toupee? Grin

bran · 26/04/2017 15:47

The waiter was fine, he just whipped it off and beat out the flame, no burns to his scalp at all. He was working at our reception too, with a fine head of hair. Grin

NeopreneMermaid · 26/04/2017 16:18
  1. Best man so drunk that he could no longer stand or read his speech so MOG propped him up and read it out for him while he slumped over her shoulder.
  2. Same best man heckled the bride while she choked back tears to do the absent-friends toast following the recent loss of both her and her new husband's grandmas: "Yeah, Gran! We all had her!"
  3. Different best man who did Hugh Grant's Four Weddings best man speech word for word.
  4. Vicar couldn't remember bride's name and took about 1 minute of silence while half the congregation hissed it at him before he flicked back through his notes and continued his sentence as if nothing had happened.
MacaroonMama · 26/04/2017 20:17

A few months after our (big, jolly, scandal-free) wedding, friends of DH got married. I later found out that the bride had been keeping a big box under her bed since about the age of 12, in which she'd kept all her wedding ideas - dress, bridesmaids' dresses (I seem to remember she had lots of younger sisters), flowers, cake, rings etc. I know lots of friends who knew the couple better said that they thought if the couple hadn't been getting married, they'd have split up by now, but bride was determined she was Having A Wedding.

At the wedding reception (a big function room), DH and I were having a drink when a voice said "So what do you think of that DICKHEAD then?" This was the Mother of the Bride. Who was dressed from head to toe in black, including black lace gloves and a mantilla. She proceeded, loudly, to slag off the groom, whom she always referred to as "that DICKHEAD" and ended up by saying "the last thing I told my baby girl before she went down that aisle today was it's not too late, it's never too late, you can come home tonight and we'll all pretend it never happened." Didn't know where to look or what to say.

She then walked from group to group, saying the same thing. The night went on in the same vein and all people could do was drink, so we got wrecked and had to go home early.

The couple, who I didn't know well, but had quite liked, separated a few months later as he cheated on her. Really sad.

YNK · 26/04/2017 21:02

Well into the evening do of colleagues wedding he started a full on strip on the dancefloor.
We all laughed, thinking he would stop at his shirt but no........
cue bride shooting across the floor in her wedding dress and rugby tackling him to the floor as he dropped his trousers in front of their own and other small children as well as the assembled families and guests.
We thought this was bad enough but both families joined in a massive fight....serious punches being thrown, screaming, shouting!
We managed to get into a taxi just as the police arrived!
This was about 40y ago and they are still together now Grin

Allegorygirl · 27/04/2017 09:18

Two college professors get married and on the invite was 'bring your favourite dish to share with the rest of the guests'.
So we turn up with our dish to the village hall reception and the guests had to cater, serve and clear up the wedding. There was a motley assortment of cold food as there were no heating facilities in the winter Confused
There was also no booze. So the ushers had to ferry guests a few at a time to the local shop to get some much needed wine as not many had brought their cars. So they missed the whole event and the lovely buffet.
The bride and groom are loaded btw!
Quite awful. They also had a fabulous gift list sent with the invitation and were heading to a far flung honeymoon destination