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Original poster

Cringiest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

526 replies

Fourtwenty · 22/04/2017 23:19

We were secretly sent the lyrics to the first dance and as a surprise we all had to stand up and sing it to the couple.

My toes were curling Grin

OP posts:
caoraich · 24/04/2017 22:54

Oh god I've remembered another one- awful and less funny

The one in Belfast where the bride was an old university friend and we didn't know any of her or the groom's family, who turned out to be fairly hard line members of the orange order.

She had clearly "broken free" while at university but gone back into the fold.

The minister made no concessions to the "multicultural" pew and went on a sectarian, racist, homophobic rant lasting at least 40 minutes. My unmarried Irish catholic partner later said he genuinely thought he was about to burst into flames. The Muslim friend cried and our black, gay, married friends slowly inched further from each other.

We genuinely considered not going to the reception, but went for politeness. However we left shortly after one of the groom's relatives called my partner a "taig". I'm not ashamed to say I put two bottles of wine in my handbag before we buggered off and made use of the extremely fancy hotel's spa facilities Blush

TheEternalForever · 24/04/2017 22:59

caoraich oh god that's awful Sad I'm glad you buggered off with their wine though! And I bet you had a better time in the spa than any of those awful people at the party! hugs

redshoeblueshoe · 24/04/2017 23:07

I've just remembered something from my first wedding which was bloody ridiculous. We had the evening do at a local hotel. my DM hated disco's so she hosted a party at her house for her friends, and older members of the family
I've only just realised how stupid this was Blush

ThomasRichard · 24/04/2017 23:12

One recently where the groom was clearly unbothered by the whole thing and had to be dragged away from his mates to have photos with his new wife, make a speech, first dance etc.

My own wedding where the Italian best man got so nervous that forgot how to speak English for the speech.

iguanadonna · 24/04/2017 23:16

FOB speech all about his bloody boat.

Btw LadyRoseate, was that wedding with the hectoring vicar on the Kent/Surrey border a few years ago?

mimi14 · 24/04/2017 23:38

During my brother's wedding reception, his best man (who was also making the wedding video) asked him if he had anything to say to his new wife.
My drunken brother looked square in the camera and said "Wife... do you take it up the shitter?" ShockShockShock.

ClodTheGoat · 24/04/2017 23:48

Watching a groom's speech that was about how he'd battled difficult childhood and look how successful he is, he's very proud of himself. No mention of his new bride. Plus his (perfectly nice) family must have been sat there thinking "hold on, we gave you a lovely childhood".

JunosRevenge · 24/04/2017 23:54

Bride and groom played violin duets at the meal. Badly.

DeadMorose · 25/04/2017 00:09

My wedding was the only one I've been to since 5 years old, so the only cringeworthy thing was when my otherwise lovely MIL went on a rant about why she voted out in referendum. Sitting right next to me, EU citizen, wife of her son and mother of her granddaughter. 2 days before referendum (PIL did postal votes).
I don't know why I felt awkward though. It should've been her feeling that way.

BigBangTheory789 · 25/04/2017 00:41

Omg, I'm howling at some of these!!!

In our culture there's a 'knife dance' done by the bride's side where they dance with the knife before the cake cutting and the groom has to pay to get the knife... The dance went on... And on... And on... Eventually one of the grooms family members took the knife from the dancing girl, gave her the money, gave the groom the knife and thankfully ended the boring dance!!

Second was a wedding we went to where the grooms family were super conservative and religious, the bride's sister had booked an entertainment dance group... Cue a bunch of very scantily clad group of women and men dancing to African music and one of the drunk guests trying it on with the dancers afterwards... Needless to say the grooms side were not impressed and both the bride and groom looked so uncomfortable!! Think the sister got quite a telling off after... It was fun just to see their reactions though....

Went to a wedding where they had the owl bring the rings in, it was cringe but thankfully the owl behaved!!

Also to a wedding where the bride didn't smile once the whole evening, it was painfully obvious that she did not want to get married to the guy and it was kind of an arranged marriage, not sure how long that lasted...

Another where the guy decided to break it into a belly dance half way through the first dance where the bride's family were really conservative, it was actually really funny and entertaining and he was just enjoying himself but the bride's face was a picture and she gave him the cold shoulder the rest of the evening and refused to dance again all night...

And another where the bride's dress was so big and heavy on her that she actually hired two ladies to keep fixing the trail at the back, that was abit weird... Also at the same wedding we were stuck in the reception area before going into the banqueting hall for two hours with nowhere to sit and although there was a huge buffet of starters you couldn't get to it because it was so packed. Literally couldn't move... There were 800 people at that wedding and it took over an hour to get everyone seated in the banqueting hall...

I've been to quite a few entertaining weddings...

BigBangTheory789 · 25/04/2017 00:45

Oh and another one where the fob who was quite racist kept going on about his lovely favourite daughter and how he had to accept her marrying into a foreign family even though he wasn't happy and how he had found her a lovely boy but she had been tricked by this 'foreigner' and don't come back when it all goes downhill etc, the grooms family were so clearly uncomfortable and the bride's family just wanted the ground to open up...

JDEE72 · 25/04/2017 01:38

My own wedding was awful. Ruined by a very drunk guest and the behaviour of some relatives. My husband and I were utterly mortified. The ceremony itself was ok, but the rest of it makes me really sad. The drunk guest made racist comments to some of my guests and to the hotel staff, who in turn complained to me and threatened to have her removed. I told them to go ahead if they needed to and apologised. needless to say I do not speak to her anymore.

sucue · 25/04/2017 07:16

A couple sharing a set of false teeth. Wonderful.

HelpTheTigers · 25/04/2017 10:22

At the evening do, the drunken groom's complete speech was "I'd like to thank you all for coming tonight and I hope that I can COME as well tonight". You could hear the tumbleweed..............

trumpstinycock · 25/04/2017 10:31

Groom: I was feeling lonely the night I met Bride. I saw this beautiful brunette at the bar and started chatting to her. But turns out she had a boyfriend so I got chatting to Bride instead.

Shock Bad enough, as this wasn't pitched as a joke.

It was followed swiftly by TWO DIFFERENT girls (friends) on my table leaning forwards and telling me, "That was me! He asked for my number on the night he met Bride!"

Vagndidit · 25/04/2017 10:42

Black bra band and straps visible under ill-fitting white dress. Same Bride and groom zooming into the church hall reception on a motorcycle. She hooked up with the groom's bf at the reception allegedly. Amazingly, the marriage lasted a whole 23 months!

MNHQ
LornaMumsnet · 25/04/2017 11:10

Hi, all!

Grin

Thanks for all of the classics nominations.

We're sending this over to the hall of fame now!

cushioncovers · 25/04/2017 11:19

The false teeth sharing will stay with me for a very long time. Sad

yestheyhavethesamedad · 25/04/2017 11:26

The brides family thinking that she married a virgin, even though she had lived with her now husband for 2 years prior to getting married. the same .wedding the grooms parents being treated badly by the bride and her family so the Fog during his speech in front of the brides ultra religious, ultra conservative Irish family, handed over a copy of the karma sutra with the words I hope u make good use and enjoy .

scattysally · 25/04/2017 11:32

My ex fiance was asked to be best man. His brother had recently been best man and offered a copy of his speech to help him out. My offer to help rewrite the speech was declined and he insisted he could manage on his own. On the day it wasn't so bad ... until he started on about how lovely the bride was and did she have a sister he could be introduced to?

HelpTheTigers · 25/04/2017 11:38

And another - we were given cans of Export at one reception, to toast the newlyweds. Other beers may have been available if this contravenes any advertising regs!

HelpTheTigers · 25/04/2017 11:40

Oh, and the children were given the same cans too.

RubyFlint · 25/04/2017 14:37

My mum and dad once sat opposite an elderly couple who shared pair of teeth, one would have a sandwich then take the teeth out and the other would then pop them in their mouth and have something to eat. The constant teeth swapping apparently lasted an hour, needless to say it put mum off her food!

Hilarious! I'd love to have witnessed this! ShockGrin

derxa · 25/04/2017 15:08

I should have had an owl!!!

MumBod · 25/04/2017 15:13

The best man announcing during his speech that the groom's first words to the bride were "I want to lick your arsehole."

Their child was filming the speeches.

Shock