Little things that put you off going out with someone

[TakeAwayThatCaterpillar]

I was thinking today about the little things over the course of my dating years men have done/said that instantly made me think "nope, not you". They were probably perfectly nice people in retrospect...

1. Looked mildly nonplused about a woman in a picture having underarm hair.

2. Liked Miranda.

3. Used the phrase "wedding tackle".

There are probably countless more. Tell me yours...

3. Spent more than two minutes "grooming" to go out.

Oh another one
Had really small feet. Or disproportionately chunky calves (he was slim)..I could never decide which, but it was a big problem

Nettletheelf Thu 20-Apr-17 16:33:54

Utterly hilarious. Great thread nothing to add....YET.

Said "pass me your pussy" during sex.

Caked Shakespeare's play, "7th Night".

Men who ask if they see you again at the end of a date make me cringe. I always say "maybe" and then run off and delete their number
Tell your their whole life story on a 1st date.
Make or receive a text or call from their mother
Bring a friend along. I don't mean a wing man waiting at the bar to save him if needed but actually brought him along to spend the evening with us.
Anything that sounds/looks like bragging. Including overs showing of car keys. The promanate wallet opening to reveal lots of cash. Or just costant talking about money or stuff they own.
Noisey eating
Showing you all their tattoos
And weird kissing.
All off which I've experienced. So glad I'm happily settled now. Would hate to do the whole dating thing again

Licked my face from chin to forehead because he thought it was funny (I thought he was leaning in for a kiss).

Sang 'You just died in my arms tonight' whilst looking at me meaningfully. Wasn't sure what to make of that but mostly cringed.

Another (who weirdly have just mentioned in another thread) didn't brush his teeth the morning after our first night together and kept trying to kiss me with death breath.

There was the one who pointed out that my eyebrows didn't match my hair colour, and generally seemed intent on proving he was a massive know-it-all dickhead .

There was the one who kept reminding me that all his exes had been size 8, dancers etc, whilst I was a size 12, like he was doing me some kind of favour. He had a strange willy as well.

God, when I look back I think the majority of the blokes I went out with were arrogant misogynistic wankers. Now I'm older and wiser I wouldn't give any of them the time of day. They do say you get fussier as you get older, but I think when you're young and immature and lacking in self confidence you accept crappy behaviour from others because you just aren't sure of yourself.

Men with small hands and/or a womanly bottom.

Red haired men (I know this contravenes some kind of MN law)

Crap taste in music e.g favourite album being something like Now That's What I Call Driving

Any man who talks about bants or banter

Men who love nothing more then spilling out tales of woe about past relationships.

I really don't give a fuck and I'm not your therapist so shut up.

A guy I went out with for four months:

Constantly quoted the same line from Life of Brian - except he got it wrong. Every time.

Called me 'Bubble' after the ditsy Ab Fab character. I was considerably more intelligent than him.

Got a hideous (and massive) tattoo because he knew I liked tattoos.

Wanted to show me his medical records.

Repeatedly called me by a nickname I told him I hated.

Told my friends he had started saving for our wedding.

Oh god, AND (same guy):

Proudly told me how he'd told his ex he 'hoped she got AIDS'.

Bought roller blades with the idea of roller blading to work. In his suit.

Arrived by bike and insisted on showing me his sweat patches

I once dated another guy. He was one of the few who made it past the 1st date. We'd been out a couple of times and text each other quite a bit.it seemed to be going well. He text me one night asking if he come round for a drink. I said "yes"
He came round with a few cans and said his friend had dropped him off so he could have a drink. After a while I asked "what time is your friend picking you up?" I was actually going to suggest he phone his friend and cancel. But he told me his friend wasn't picking him up because he had to go to work. So I asked if he was getting a taxi? To which he replied he had brought no money. So had basically no way of getting home. He lived a good 10 miles away. Presumptuous much? So that told me right there and then I didn't want him to stay and probably wouldn't see him again. I told him he had to go and he wasn't staying and I didn't care how he was getting home. It wasn't my problem and he should have thought about that before he came. He eventually left. Not happy though. After he had gone I noticed he had stole my 5er off the side!
After that you would think he wouldn't have contacted me again. He did. A lot. Phone, text, passed messages to friends even came back to my house. Didn't bring me 5er though. He actually thought him taking my money was justified because I had left him with no way of getting home. Lucky escape there

Another guy who took his used condom of and put in on my floor
Or anyone who tried to wriggle out of wearing a condom with stupid exuses

Different glorious specimens:

Cut up all the food on his plate, mixed it all up together into a mush, and ate it

Told me he used an actual death shroud on his sofa, as a throw.

Would only buy cheap, white, stodgy, floppy bread.

Tried to teach me how to dry myself after a shower.

Bread/shower-manual guy:

H: "I like your jumper"
Me: Thanks.
H: what's it made from?
Me: Mohair
H: (silent for several minutes)
H: But what about the poor Mo's??

one guy used to refer to himself in the third person during dtd, only slept with him once, but used to say stuff like, that's right dave just like that, she likes that doesn't she dave, pump harder dave.

It was the most off putting thing ever, by the end I was thinking, oh just fuck off dave.

Also different guy who referred to my boobs in a baby voice as titties, can I sucky wucky your tittes, vomit no!

Guy who had black teeth, I couldn't get past them. bumped into him at a wedding couple of years back and he'd had the fixed, he looked totally different.

Being called baby.
Robot dancing (when you are 45 and at a gig?)
Abruptly stopping sex because I was grabbing his head and he was concerned that his hair is falling out. (that was a real WTF moment).
Checking out other women when you are out together.

another guy who told me in detail on first date about his extensive porn collection, seemed surprised when I wasn't impressed and insited there would be something in there I liked, his ex liked so and so...

I dated such freaks. SO glad meet DH.

First date with a seemingly OK man. Somehow the conversation had got onto sex and he then explained in graphic detail how he loves giving impromptu oral to women, for example whilst they're doing the washing up (but when they're wearing skirt, stockings and heels). I'm all for sponteneity, but he gave the impression he'd expect a woman to wear particular clothes [groan] that facilitated "access". But I think I was more put off because there hadn't been any flirting before this conversation and the way he was talking just made it all sound a bit sleazy. Instead of getting excited I was cringing slightly, he just managed to make it feel so unsexy. No 2nd date from me.

That was 12 years ago and I still get the occasional 'accidental' pic of his downstairs.
What, he send pictures of his kitchen and lounge?!

Slapped his own arse and screamed YES! as he came.

I am crying at "you just died in my arms tonight".

. Had a name for his penis
. Told me he wanted to suck on my tits so that he could pretend to be a baby

Had a picture of a topless woman cut out of a wank mag...^in a frame on his bedside table
Shaved all the hair off his entire body and had head to toe stubble
Danced like he was pretending to drive an invisible car
Thrust away at me like a jack russell, while saying 'Do I feel good inside you baby' when it wasn't even in

Weeping with laughter

but hugging her and feeling her gun was off-putting

Yeah and the old joke only really works if it's a man

MysteryCat I don't know why but the sentence 'He left his lolly wrapper on the grass' made snort. I think it's the idea of a grown man eating a lolly.

Had UKIP stickers on his car. I couldn't help myself and shrieked "oh my god you've got UKIP stickers on your car!" I think we both knew then.