Little things that put you off going out with someone

[TakeAwayThatCaterpillar]

I was thinking today about the little things over the course of my dating years men have done/said that instantly made me think "nope, not you". They were probably perfectly nice people in retrospect...

1. Looked mildly nonplused about a woman in a picture having underarm hair.

2. Liked Miranda.

3. Used the phrase "wedding tackle".

There are probably countless more. Tell me yours...

3. Spent more than two minutes "grooming" to go out.

Said "hey ho, the wind and the rain" whenever he felt that there was a lull in the conversation.

Oh my god that is hilarious!

I'll add self conscious about his bum, apologising for how flat it was I didn't notice until he pointed it out

Coming out of the bedroom for coffee in the morning wearing just his awful pants, and sitting cross legged on the sofa (didn't notice the pants before either)

Going through his mobile phone contacts (uninvited and unasked) and giving me a short introduction to each person and how he knew them

Trying to sneak his penis in without a condom (several men)

Said "hey ho, the wind and the rain" whenever he felt that there was a lull in the conversation.

This has killed me stone dead. Crying.

Second date went for ice creams in the park. He left his lolly wrapper on the grass. (Instead of putting it in the bin like a civilised person) It was never the same after that.

Sorry that was supposed to be 'how do you cope without sex'!

Oh and the guy who turned up to a date in a t-shirt with a portrait of his Alsatian dog on the front! I like dogs but no way was that getting a second date!

Crying at some of these oh my word

I love this Fred. It's making me cringe inside.

Wore fake tan that rubbed off onto pillow cases.

Rocked up in black leather trousers (not even skinny, they were pegs) and a black leather very loosely knitted vest
Too be fair he was an amazing shag

Ok here goes... (all different men)

1. Wore Y-fronts. And wore his shirt tucked into them.

1. Had the filthiest flat I've ever seen. On his bedroom floor there was a plate covered in dried-up baked beans...with a sock.

1. Had a picture of a topless woman cut out of a wank mag...in a frame on his bedside table.

Turned up for our first date with a MASSIVE snot on his face. I hesitated wondering whether or not to say anything for slightly too long so didn't, and the snot stayed there. When he took his coat off he absolutely stank of BO, and he had turned up having literally just come from a job interview! Made absolutely no attempt at conversation so I struggled to keep it going until I decided, right, I'm not going to speak until he does. He didn't - about fifteen painful minutes of utter silence passed. No second date! When I tried to let him down gently via text afterwards he responded with a string of increasingly offensive jokes. What a fella.

Was with another guy and we passed a house that had an Ethiopian flag flying. He said, what are they doing here, they should be off in the desert with a swollen belly! Then got all snippy when I didn't laugh saying I had no sense of humour. Last straw for this guy who also had a penis that was very short, extremely thick at the base and tapered to a tiny point. He was the most awkward, painful shag ever! I shagged him before the Ethiopia comment, btw, dumped him after that gem!

He used the word 'chuckle'.

ImperialBlether, if I ever go out with anyone ever again, if I like them I am going to be in constant terror that they will say "chuckle" as I will have to then instantly ditch them. I don't know what it is, but you are absolutely right.

I think "yummy" and "munch" would also cause me to run.

Oh my lord, just finally caught up with the thread and now I don't ever want to go out with anyone, ever.

Thank you, mumsnet, for finally making me OK with my single state.

wore green underpants [not boxers which would make it bearable] but the type you would buy for a little boy.

Said "hey ho, the wind and the rain" whenever he felt that there was a lull in the conversation.

Trying to hide behind my PC screen in work heaving away through silent laughing

Oh another one. Friend of Sister's bf - phoned and asked if I would like to go for a drink. Off we went in his car (which was pristine and apparently his pride and joy), driving through Epping Forest he decided to go for a grope and swung the car off into the forest, whereupon it proceeded to get stuck in mud. After what seemed like eternity and him getting madder and madder and several unsuccessful attempts to move the car he had to call the AA to winch it out. He and the car were completely covered in mud. He drove me home in silence - I got out and never saw him again

Here's a selection of my (mostly recent) dating deal breakers

. Asked me how I felt about us starting a family BEFORE WE MET
. Wore tasselled loafers with white socks
. Thrust away at me like a jack russell, while saying 'Do I feel good inside you baby' when it wasn't even in!
. Had yellow fingers and brown teeth from smoking
. Showed a jealous streak very early
. Blew his nose all night on a handkerchief (pocket full of snot?)
. Shaved all the hair off his entire body and had head to toe stubble
. Danced like he was pretending to drive an invisible car

Oh! I forgot the one who repeatedly used to word 'panties' even though I asked him to stop. He didn't get in mine after that...

I broke up with someone once because he spent £200 on a pair of ridiculous floral loafers and also because he was genuinely obsessed with Hollyoaks to the point that he would email me updates whilst I was at work.

One more:
A guy who text "Mmm, me likey"

Never text him back.

He wore a pale suede jacket which then had a drink spilled on it at the bar and was not impressed when I laughed.

Another grabbed a random bloke by the throat because he looked at me.

@CactusFred I have a t-shirt with a picture of my cat on it

Probably wouldn't wear it on a first date though. Probably.

Carried a concealed weapon with her 24/7.

(In all fairness, she was a police officer in a certain division where she was required to do so, but hugging her and feeling her gun was off-putting.)

1. Men who tell me how much they earn.
2. Who don't read books
3. Respond to something I've said with 'oh, right'
4. Have loads of visible tattoos
5. Say stuff like 'I need lots of attention'
6. Vote conservative
7. Or UKIP/ BNP (even worse!)
8. Invite me round to their house early on
9. Tight with money

10. Dirty fingernails 11. Bad shoes or teeth 12. Takes drugs of any sort 13. Still lives at home with mum post 21 14. Lives with a male friend 15. Has a poole table in his kitchen 16. Is a gambler of any sort 17. Likes going on cruddy alcohol fuelled holidays

I'm perfect, of course

Wore velour slippers.

Wore a Jurassic Park T shirt under his going-out shirt.

Didn't do any washing for a whole term while at university. Just recycled the dirty clothes

Wanked on for the entire date about DJs and club nights aged 40 to show how down with the kids he was

Told me he disagreed with mixed race relationships

Talked about the glitter ball bought his cat

Took me into a betting shop on our first date