Little things that put you off going out with someone

[TakeAwayThatCaterpillar]

I was thinking today about the little things over the course of my dating years men have done/said that instantly made me think "nope, not you". They were probably perfectly nice people in retrospect...

1. Looked mildly nonplused about a woman in a picture having underarm hair.

2. Liked Miranda.

3. Used the phrase "wedding tackle".

There are probably countless more. Tell me yours...

3. Spent more than two minutes "grooming" to go out.

1. told me that he fantasised about 'sniffing my leg hairs'. I don't have any and in any case, he never got near my naked body, thankfully.

2. Another man kissed me with 'rigor mortis' tongue. He just sort of tensed it up and then stabbed it around my mouth. Grim, grim, grim.

Spent a good hour having a good giggle, except...

Played a Roxette cd

Erm, and what exactly, is wrong with this?!!

Had blonde pubes. I'm just more attracted to brunettes I suppose.

I'm loving the guy with clouds of midges round his head attracted by his hair gel.

Come on guys, own up, who's got triangle dick as their DH?!

Lobster That made me laugh so much! He sounds ace.

I dated a guy once who spent a couple of hours talking to swans.

Another guy licked inside my nostril and asked me if I ever accidentally touch my clitoris when wiping after going to the toilet.

One guy kept asking me "have you had enough yet?"

Man I had been seeing for about a week,licked my armpit in a night club..
Man I went home with after a few dates, rang his ex so she could tell me "what a great guy he was" She did
Cinema date, who was late told me he'd had to steal a car on the way coz he was running late.. Ehhh

This thread has made my morning 😂

My contributions:

The bloke who told me not to make any noise dtd as his housemate might hear

Same bloke was obsessed with licking my bum hole - generally not a problem but spent a ridiculous amount of time doing it and wouldn't let me move... we dtd just the one time

One bloke got off on me being in an uncomfortable position during sex, like so uncomfortable I might injure myself, also did not like giving oral sex

Another lived with his parents - which was not a problem generally - but he was 25 and still had band posters up and had his folded ironed pants sitting on his desk. Obviously I still dtd low standards 🙄 and before anything happened he asked me if I liked his penis. When I inevitably didn't come told me he'd never had a problem before so it must be me... he told me of several girls - by name - who he had made come. I told him they were lying.

I have so many more too...

I dated a guy once who spent a couple of hours talking to swans

Weeping

Where on earth do all these guys come from????

Funny guy, took me home, picked up his guitar and played Britney Spears' "Hit me baby one more time" and sang it... an octave higher than Britney herself does.

I thought it was hilarious so laughed heartily. Quickly became apparent he was not doing it for laughs.

my nipples were the wrong colour, he didn't like them

What?!

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

Honestly Masha - what a bloody CHEEK!

As far as I'm concerned, ANY man, who gets to see ANY woman's nipples, should be so grateful and delighted that he has got this close to her boobies that he should just luxuriate in the in the erotic delight offered to him and be aware that it is an HONOUR!

I hope you commented equally personally about some bit of him (tiny willie, pathetic nutsack scrotum, hairy back - there must have been something) - or were you too taken aback?

The bloke that whilst chatting to me in the pub garden (on a bright sunny day) said that he was distracted by something on my chin, to then reach over and say 'oh its just your chin hair' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Binned - followed by serious session with the tweezers - it was only one bloody hair catching the cruel light!!!

The one that took me out on a serious Valentines date to Pizza Express and during the course of the evening in between chatting up the waitress rather too much, told me how lucky I was and that I would be the envy of 'quite a lot of women' (we are both well over 21 - Pizza F*ing Express???!!)

Oh, so many, here's a few...

Turned up for a date, he'd asked me what I like to drink, I said wine, he'd bought me a whole bottle! Also told me his ex's adult dd had tried to poison him. ( weird)

Also a guy who would only watch Disney films

One guy was so insecure and possessive, he'd get jealous if I stopped on the street to stroke a cat! ( Also once took photos of me asleep naked... )

Described gay men as 'faggots'

Wanted to dress up as a woman during sex and be struck with a crop really hard.

When the laptop was playing up, said it was unreliable ' like a woman'.

Couldn't bring himself to use the word 'period', would ask ' are you going to Liverpool?' WTF?? ( Re time of the month )

No wonder I'm single!

Snugglepumpkin
After we'd DTD & he then proceeded to tell me how generous he was to his girlfriends, listing such highlights as when he bought a value argos microwave for his ex for Christmas, a dress from the market for some previous girl.
This is a guy with his home, own yacht, very nice car & a decent income

I think we dated the same person !

How could I have forgot the guy who tried to shove his penis up my rectum while I was asleep! apparently I was asking for it. Not verbally but I was supposedly rubbing my arse against his crotch

One guy after dtd asked me "am I the best you've ever had?" I said "everyone is different, I can't possibly say". He dumped me and to be honest he wasn't.

@TroysMammy. He might have thought you meant literally "EVERYONE"

The ones who can't be without a woman in their lives for any length of time, including the one who had been separated for a whole 12 days before our only first date. 12 days!

I think we dated the same person

Dress from the market or Argos microwave, user?

Coughing for weeks, my ex was like that. Four long term relationships, all one after the other. I have asked when he plans to move out of his mums into his own place and he said "when I meet someone to move in with"

First date and first thing he said was 'I'm an ultra capitalist', err ok then, see you later.

Wrote articles for a furniture magazine for fun

Was writing a book that was like Buffy the vampire slayer but without all the 'demons and magic and shit' but basically about all the characters relationships.

Thought that hype (esp massive advertising) made a film better.

(Last 3 were all the same bloke!)

Oh and there was one weirdo I had ons with who left me a voice message saying he was lonely and horny and could I come over. He then forgot he'd left this message and left another 10 mins later saying there was a full on orgy happening at his flat and did I want to join in (no ta)

Invited to dinner, had to stop at the supermarket for him to buy ingredients...all sourced from the reduced/dented tins shelf. After faffing around cooking frugal meal and eating in silence, he told me I needed to wash up. Fair enough but leaving the kitchen after finishing this chore, he was sitting naked and expectant on the sofa. He said 'now for dessert...' No. Got out of there asap.