How to feel like you're on holiday when you're not?

[qualityjaisket]

I'm really craving a week (or several) in the sun but have no plans for holidays this year. How can I recreate that holiday feeling at home?

Go to a charity shop and buy a shitload of airport books in big format. Stuff at least six into your suitcase. Don't read them.

Recreate the all inclusive meal experience by combining pizza, gravy and beetroot all on one plate (ds, I'm looking at you )

AutumnalLeaves38 hahaha that is superb!

I have used Hawaiian Tropic body butter this morning and so I smell like I'm on holiday at least.

Just seethe and shout at your kids and cry internally as you are too hot. Rage at the poor wifi

Hang a sign outside your bedroom door saying do not disturb or please make my room up.

Have your breakfast wearing your swminwear and shorts and t shirt over the top.

Put boiled eggs and rolls in your bag for lunch.

MrsMoastyToasty I can Chu Chu Ua like nobody's business.

I'm that desperate for a holiday I'm even considering some of the sillier activities mentioned on the thread.

Ask a friend to come and make your bed every day - they must do it so tightly that you can't actually get into bed without ripping everything off the mattress.

If they really want to, let them fold a towel into a novelty shape and put it as far away from the shower as possible. Hide all other towels.

Some of these are hilarious, I almost feel I'm on holiday reading this thread!

Just spend the week wearing two pairs of knickers, wash them in the bathroom sink each night, preferably with a tiny bar of over perfumed soap then drape to dry on the back of a white plastic patio chair in the garden.
Is possibly my favourite.

What sort of holiday are you wanting to pretend you're on OP? 18-30 style holiday in Corfu or a family holiday in Devon?

How about:

• Each time you go out, return to the house to check you've unplugged everything, closed the windows and turned the gas off.

• Ask your neighbours if they can put your bins out for you.

• Drive somewhere and get stuck in traffic for hours. Vow never to drive on holiday in the UK in August again.

• each time you come home, check house for standards of cleanliness. Act disgusted and vow never to go on a UK cottage holiday again.

Go to a local supermarket and fashion an evening meal out of a large pack of crisps, a dodgy pizza and a tin of heinz beans. Pay 20 euros for the privilege.

Make sure when you're in the above supermarket you only wear a bikini and a damp sarong and have a sandy arse. And flip flops.

What sort of holiday are you wanting to pretend you're on OP?

Sunny week in Spain or similar but it's made me laugh that we all do the same things like packing everything summery we have and wearing only four items. I bought three new dresses for my last holiday and only wore one.

Use a thick, rancid-smelling, uber expensive but highly protective facial sunblock to prevent wrinkles. Spend the next 10 days reliving your acne-ridden teenage years, complete with home-made toothpaste remedies.

Love this thread!!!

Buy some Marlboro Reds from the corner shop (and don't forget to rip the filters off) then go and sit in your kid's sandpit with a portable radio and smoke the lot.

I've never shagged a waiter though.

Make a playlist on Spotify of holiday classics; don't forget Whigfield's Saturday Night, Corona's Rhythm of the Night and Mr Loverman by Shabba Ranks. Sit in the dark and play it through headphones ramped up to the max while sticking a spray can of Lynx Africa up your nose.

Turn the heating up and walk around in your bikini carrying a fluorescent coloured cocktail and play club Tropicana by wham on full blast. Set up sun lounger indoor with mags and books. Personally I would deep clean house first or else I'd get distracted - buts that's just me..

Buy some UHT milk and insist on it being poured into your cups of weak tea all week.

Go to the nearest beach (Bamburgh or Craster will do) and sunbathe topless with a smug air of liberation

DandelionAndBedrock

Turn central heating up to maximum. Put eye shade on. Drink cocktail.

If you mean it - I think I'd book days out including a spa day maybe. Make sure I ate out or got takeaways each night.

Afternoon drinking
Thread over.

God I ❤️ this thread. It's really making me laugh, especially as it's mixed with sensible suggestions then things like bathing topless at your local tourist attraction.

Loving it.